D jotted of an Instant Message this evening, asking if she could call me. Of course, I said yes. I was greeted by their noisy household with Munchkin’s voice towering over everyone’s.

Apparently Munchkin now has flashcards with alphabet letters and pictures that correspond to the letter. J was holding them up and Munchkin was yelling the letter and picture. We were all laughing when she announced, in the cutest child voice ever, that O was for OCTOPUS! I can’t even phonetically type how she said it but, be sure, it was the cutest way to say octopus in the world. Hands down.

And, miraculously, tonight I got a “Hi” and a “Buh-bye” on the phone. I’ve never had the joy of hearing her say those words to me on the phone. She usually clams up and, like later during the conversation, runs away from the phone. She will, at times, breathe heavily into my ear. I’ve had the occasional laugh as she ran away, but never the acknowledged “HI!” and “BYE!” This is exciting. Of course, I’ve also never heard her say my name. I think D may be lying about that one. ;)

Moments like these, when I know D goes out of her way to include me in something monumental (however minor you may think it is), are what make all of the hardwork worthwhile. Every now and then, made evident by some of my more sad entries, the pain I feel caused by the placement and loss of my daughter, can get supremely overwhelming. But then, my heart is calmed and warmed by hearing the little Munchkin recite her alphabet in what really is the cutest voice. Ever.

I’m grouchy. The forums do it to me now and again. I can usually handle differences of opinion until it gets to sweeping generalizations and relying on old stereotypes. Let’s look at these comments:

TOO many teenagers become parents too soon and usually, if the mother decides to parent, the child pays the price. Look at all of these children in foster care why are they there? Because they had parents that were too young and developmentally immature to be parents! Even if the family were to help, what guarantees are there that the family is emotionally and financially ready to raise the child AND its mother? I can’t imagine a child being encouraged to parent at fifteen years old and expecting a happy ending-it just doesn’t work that way.

No. It’s not a happy ending when a fifteen year old gets parented. It’s a hard road and a lot of work. A lot. However, it’s also a lot of work when you have a planned child. Parenting is just hard. There are no guarantees that a teen’s family is financially able to step up to the plate and help her, but a truly genuine family who cares about the best interest of their own will move mountains to support a child in his or her endeavors. If my Son (or future daughter?) ever comes to me with some form of teen pregnancy issue on their hands, I will support them by giving them all of the information possible, telling them that adoption is no fucking bed of roses and letting them know that if they do decide to parent, I will work my butt off to make it possible. Of course, they will also know that THEY will work their butt off, but that should be understood. ;) I will willingly babysit for free. Hello! Free time with a grandchild! Holla! Perhaps I have this view because I know how it feels to lack the familial support but not totally; I just want to be the kind of Mom that imparts on her children that, no matter what, we are FAMILY and nothing is going to change that. (But thinking about it, yes, it relates to a lot of adoption issues.)

I feel that a child is too young to be a parent at 15, 16, 17 or, sometimes, 18-yes. I see the results all the time of children having babies too young. You may have seen a successful teen parent but they didn’t do it on their own. They had help from their parents and most likely the government. This brings me back to the vicious dead end statement.

And what the heck is wrong with familial support? My God! I would be absolutely insane right now if my Mother-in-law didn’t come over every now and then and let me catch a nap. D would be in a lot of trouble regarding some personal health issues if her own Mom didn’t come and watch her two crazy kiddos so that she could either take a well-deserved nap or get a few things done. Familial support is not only needed by teen moms but, in my opinion, it’s a great thing for Moms of all ages! And I hate, hate, hate the stigma we place on receiving state assistance. I would love to see all those who bitch and moan and complain about those “welfare moms” suddenly fall into hard times and realize, “Shit, this is the only way I can get back on my feet.” Yes, I realize some people abuse the system. You’ll find that with anything. Don’t judge the entire bushel based on one bad apple. It’s just that easy.

But then again, I shouldn’t be having more children. Since I’m a big bad birthmother.

/end rant.