I was on vacation. It was good. Now I’m back and ready to tackle some new stuff.

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This website alarms me: Adoption Alternatives.

I clicked it thinking that I would find some good information on assistance available to families, links to programs and tips on how to parent a child on a fixed income. I don’t know why I thought that; how silly of me! Nope; full fledged adoption shmutz shoved down the throad of unassuming expectant Mothers. Of course, the site doesn’t call them expectant Mothers. Oh, no. We can’t show respect like that because it may lead a woman to think, “Hey! I AM a Mom!” That’s Bad News Bears for agencies, you know. Nope, this site is prematurely labeling these expectant Mothers as birthmothers.

How can you be a birthmother if you were researching “adoption alternatives?” Oh, coercion, you tricky thing you!

But it gets better. Please have all barf bags ready. This one is a doozy:

1. How long do adoptions take?
Depending on state laws, adoptions vary in time. Basically once contact is made to the party you wish to work through, things will start to be set up for you. Your part for the most part is over after the baby is born, so that you can go on to resume the life that you have, and continue is your life plans.

Say what now? You said “your part for the most part is over after the baby is born?” SAY WHAT? Yep. You just get up out of that hospital bed, mozy out the front door of the hospial and never again think of the child that you just brought forth into this world. Even though the site touts open adoption, they actually have the hutzpah to post such a same statement. On the same site. Ironic, hypocritical, coercive or all of the above? Hmm.

Here’s another head scratching comment:

Then it is time to sit back, and wait for the birth, and to realize that there are many people out there who want to help you through this trying period of your life.

Uhm, yep. That’s what I did. I picked a family and then sat back and didn’t even think about the life growing inside of me, how I would handle the loss of our bond and ya know, all those other unimportant things to consider prior to the birth and placement of a child.

Now, here’s one of the kickers. The site’s “homepage” states the following:

This website is for birthmothers looking to place a child for adoption. If you are looking to adopt a child, please visit www.storksearch.org. Thank you.

Let’s look beyond the fact that they used improper language. Let’s move on to something else entirely. When you click the About Us section, you see the following, next to a picture:

My name is Mary Guiseley. I am a 42-year-old mother of two adopted children. Like many of you, I have struggled through infertility, not once, but twice. I know well the heartbreak and physical pain of the process.

But wait, Mary. I thought you just said that the site was for “birthmothers” considering placement and that if I was looking to adopt, I should visit some other site. And then you screw up your coercive plan and let us know your true intention. Wouldn’t you be better off to save that information for your other site? The one in which you tell adoptive parents that you can find them a baby? Oh wait! You did! You just simply copied and pasted because you can’t be bothered to show empathy or compassion for a mother experiencing an unplanned pregnancy! Why waste your time and energy?! After all, a “birthmother” isn’t smart enough to figure out that you’ve got a different agenda than her well-being, right?

In television (and radio), we are held to truth in advertising. I can’t make a commercial for the local car dealership that promises, without a doubt, that the customer will pay no less than 40 bucks for a new car that will run perfectly for 80 years. You know what else I can’t do? Make a commercial for a company that says they’ll do one thing and does another. You know; the old bait and switch. That’s exactly what this site does. Someone Googles for “adoption alternatives,” thinks they’ve found a legitimate site and is only further slammed with coercive ignorant language.

And I’m all riled up about it.

PS - Your “trimesters of adoption” is disgusting.

Matt is improving. Being moved to Texas.

Go here to help: http://thejhatfields.org/blog/2006/07/18/the-great-the-good-and-the-need