Oh No She Didn’t!
Posted: September 14, 2006 at 9:14 pmOh yes she did. I received a message back from the subject of this post. It reads as follows:
I am sorry that you find my solicitation disgusting but you give my family hope because obviously you read the message and so did your friend! Perhaps others are reading as well. I am new on this myspace thing so, I will try to do a better job in reading profiles prior to sending a message but my message was not intended for your friend exculsively, it was intended for anyone whom she can forward the message to.
Obviously, you have never dealt with infertility and 3 failed adoptions and it is unfortunate that you take such a sour note towards my message.
*head,desk*
I’m sorry but my biggest grievance with the general population is when one tries to play their hurt, pain and crappy dealt hand off of another’s. No. I haven’t dealt with those things. But I have experienced a miscarriage. And I miss my Munchkin more than I could ever EVER put into words. So, in short, you lose that battle. I hate the pity card. When you try to one up someone on pain, you’ve all ready lost because it’s as if you’re taking pride in your pain. Moron.
Beyond that, the whole “yay people are reading my message” attitude is disturbing. Ew, ew, ew. EW! Ew. Newsflash, Moron, Christine isn’t forwarding your message on to anyone except for the explicit reasons of making fun of and/or discussing whether or not you should be banned. From life.
You lose.
The Discussion
see what everyone is saying
/facepalm
Words fail me.
OK. There are people who are so inside thier own pain that they can’t see past that, in my opinion. They need to pick up a book, something like Adopting After Infertility to help them learn how to deal with their losses before moving onto adoptioin. To heop them learn what to do and not do. To help them learn how to get outside themselves. Amd that all of these suggestions would eventually help them adopt because the suggestions would help them learn how to be respectful towards the other members of the triad.
Gah. No, playing the pain card is never a good idea. Not in these parts, not with firstmothers. Sheesh!
Three failed adoptions or three mothers with good intuition, not choosing someone who ought perhaps not to adopt.
The arrogance of some people never fails to astound me.
Oh by the way, can I have the baby? (did she say please?)
Urgh!!
Stupid people…blah…
“Obviously, you have never dealt with infertility and 3 failed adoptions and it is unfortunate that you take such a sour note towards my message.”
What the f*ck does that have to do with it???? (See, I’m trying not to cuss on her blog.)
I wish she’d written to me so I could say something to her. (I didn’t see contact info on there unless you’re on myspace.)
Well she deleted her myspace.
I myspace blogged the response. No doubt she read it. She replied to be twice… but deleted her account before I could read them… and now Im glad.
Thanks Jenna.
The myspace was gone before I could read it, but from your post and the comments I can only imagine what it said.
What’s scarier to me is that I think this attitude is quite prevalent – our country’s view of adoption is totally dominated by adoptive parents. I honestly think this stuff will continue until the media and our legislators are slapped around enough to get it, and we can make some changes.
Hi there, um I’m a little out of place and I pretty much suck, so sorry for that in advance. I was actually just reading your comments on WetFeet about CD’ing at night because you have more absorbant options – if you have time (I have a 4 month old, I know how precious time is) would you email me which CD’s you use. I’m thinking of switching and I’m looking for advice, and well, I’m a dork and love the advice of perfect strangers. Haha! I thought CD’s were LESS absorbant, so I was intrigued by your comment. Sorry I’m putting this here on this very personal post. I honestly couldn’t find where I could maybe just email you. C’mon, you don’t want email from a perfect stranger???
By the way, my mother had been boo-hooing over some hardship in her life to a friend and, being well aware of her history of abuse, commented that she knew her hardships were petty (compared to her friend). Her friend is a survivor of child sexual abuse (and I mean the really bad stuff). My mother’s friend had this to say: all suffering is equal. I really value this statement. (and I think someone famous said that too – Ghandi?) I don’t know what letter your talking about or what some dumbass said or didn’t say – I just wanted to share that with you – no judgements, no nothing. Just some serious words from an amazing person that I keep tucked away in my heart everyday. Maybe you should share it with said dumbass.
I am also terribly sorry for your loss. I have suffered a miscarriage and it was the hardest thing I have experienced besides raising the two I’ve got. I don’t know how recent this was (since I’m TOTALLY an intruder here), but I am here for you if you need it – you have my email now.
Oh, I’m scared to hit “submit comment!” I came at a really bad time to ask a stupid question about CD’s!!
first of all, let me say that i do not know the full extent of what has been said to cause so much anger towards this woman. I have, however, read some very inconsiderate comments made about a woman who has suffered from infertility, and is trying to build her family thru adoption. I highly doubt that any of you know her “story”. As of which, i doubt she or I for that matter know any of your stories. Life throws all of us unexpected curveballs. For some it’s dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, for other’s it’s dealing with infertility. While one woman is struggling with her decision on what is the best for her and her child, the other woman is struggling with the possiblity of never having the opportunity to give birth to her “own” child. Some of the comments above are proof to me of the ignorance that people have. YES, I AM A WOMAN WHO HAS DEALT WITH THE DEVASTING EFFECTS OF INFERTILITY. AND NO I AM NOT “BRAGGING” ABOUT IT. I too, have suffered a miscarriage. That is nothing to compare with infertility. A miscarriage does not mean you are infertile, and it does not mean that you have dealt with any sort of infertility. One of every six women will miscarry. Yes, I did conceive, but only once, and the way it ended completely devasted me. But i have moved on to see past my emotions. As some have dealt with the emotions of not knowing wether or not to keep their child, I dealt with the emotion not being able to give my husband the child he longed for. The only similarity of those emotions is in the depth of them. They both tear you up inside. My husband and I are in the beginning steps of adopting a baby to be born in Feb to a young mother. I know I could not even begin to image how hard this is for her, but she knows she can not support a baby right now in her life. In the future, yes, she might be able to. But it’s not the future, it’s now. In my opinion, everyone that seems to think that it is “okay” to condem a woman who wanted nothing more than to build her family, and thinks that counseling is the answer to “our problems”, needs to research infertility a bit more before being so harsh.
First of all, Jodi, your comments are lame. Learn how to write a proper paragraph and then come back and tell me I don’t know about the loss of a child. Two-fold.
Secondly, you’re in the minority of opinions here so you had better watch your step. Most of the comments on this post are from women who have experienced the same thing you are whining about, in caps lock, no less! Before you decide to educate the world on how important your losses and grief are, take a minute to think about ethics.
And have a very nice day. Banned.