Comments on: This is Denise, my Lesbian Lover http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/ Writing Our Ever-Evolving Story Sat, 04 Feb 2012 03:41:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: The Chronicles of Munchkin Land » Crazy Eights http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/comment-page-1/#comment-1450 The Chronicles of Munchkin Land » Crazy Eights Fri, 16 Mar 2007 15:37:15 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/#comment-1450 [...] days to prepare on that emotional level. Eight days left to figure out how to introduce my family. Eight days left to make plans with others who are cool. Eight days left to find cool shirts. Eight [...] [...] days to prepare on that emotional level. Eight days left to figure out how to introduce my family. Eight days left to make plans with others who are cool. Eight days left to find cool shirts. Eight [...]

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]]> By: The Chronicles of Munchkin Land » Mind Over Matter http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/comment-page-1/#comment-1461 The Chronicles of Munchkin Land » Mind Over Matter Thu, 08 Mar 2007 04:18:55 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/#comment-1461 [...] response to my Lesbian Lover post, I got some great ideas. I also got a really great challenge that is best discussed in its own post [...] [...] response to my Lesbian Lover post, I got some great ideas. I also got a really great challenge that is best discussed in its own post [...]

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]]> By: Lee http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/comment-page-1/#comment-1460 Lee Thu, 08 Mar 2007 01:42:20 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/#comment-1460 I have albinism, it is a genetic condition that causes a lack of pigment in the skin hair & eyes. Many people are more familiar with the word Albino. Kids with albinism are typically blue-eyed and blonde haired. The quintiessntial toe head. They generate a lot of comments from strangers. Most positve, some nosey. I talk to a lot of parents about social situations and how to deal with them. Kids are INCREDIBLY perceptive. You can't hide things from them especially feelings. They can sense the imperceptible (i.e. your nervouses) Jenna I read your words, that you are proud of your daughter and your relationship with her and her birth parents, (as you should be). It is time to live that. It is time to show that to Munchkin. It is time to puff your chest out and look people in the eye and say this is my daughter Munchkin and her mother D (or some similar iteration from above). Smile and if people ask questions maintain eye contact and answer what you want to and diplomatically dodge the rest because ultimately it is none of their business. It a way, you want to make them uncomfortable for thinking that this is anything less than normal. I know this is easier said than done. I live in a small town too. I'm a relative newcomer, but they already know I'm a straigh shooter. I can be friendly and helpful, but don't mess with me or my kids. In the imortal words of Theodor Geisel (a.k.a Dr. Seuss) "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Please let us know how it goes. P.S. Hi D (waving back) I have albinism, it is a genetic condition that causes a lack of pigment in the skin hair & eyes. Many people are more familiar with the word Albino.

Kids with albinism are typically blue-eyed and blonde haired. The quintiessntial toe head. They generate a lot of comments from strangers. Most positve, some nosey. I talk to a lot of parents about social situations and how to deal with them.

Kids are INCREDIBLY perceptive. You can’t hide things from them especially feelings. They can sense the imperceptible (i.e. your nervouses)

Jenna I read your words, that you are proud of your daughter and your relationship with her and her birth parents, (as you should be). It is time to live that. It is time to show that to Munchkin. It is time to puff your chest out and look people in the eye and say this is my daughter Munchkin and her mother D (or some similar iteration from above). Smile and if people ask questions maintain eye contact and answer what you want to and diplomatically dodge the rest because ultimately it is none of their business. It a way, you want to make them uncomfortable for thinking that this is anything less than normal.

I know this is easier said than done. I live in a small town too. I’m a relative newcomer, but they already know I’m a straigh shooter. I can be friendly and helpful, but don’t mess with me or my kids.

In the imortal words of Theodor Geisel (a.k.a Dr. Seuss) “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Please let us know how it goes.

P.S. Hi D (waving back)

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]]> By: Marci http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/comment-page-1/#comment-1459 Marci Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:39:18 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/#comment-1459 Jenna, Could you maybe say something the previous week? Just kind of towards the end of class, "Oh yeah, by the way, next week, my daughter that I placed for adoption and her mother and brother will be joining us." That way they have some time to kind of digest it and think about it. Might make it less awkward when they are actually there. Good luck and I know you will handle it with grace! Jenna,

Could you maybe say something the previous week? Just kind of towards the end of class, “Oh yeah, by the way, next week, my daughter that I placed for adoption and her mother and brother will be joining us.” That way they have some time to kind of digest it and think about it. Might make it less awkward when they are actually there.

Good luck and I know you will handle it with grace!

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]]> By: chanie http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/comment-page-1/#comment-1458 chanie Wed, 07 Mar 2007 13:08:44 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/#comment-1458 i wonder if you could just deal with some of the akwardness head on - say any of the above variations and then either let them figure it out, or if they ask questions say 'yes, i know it may not be something most people have encountered before, but...' and explain how it works for you and your family. maybe you'll get people to open up and listen and change their preconceived notions. i wonder if you could just deal with some of the akwardness head on – say any of the above variations and then either let them figure it out, or if they ask questions say ‘yes, i know it may not be something most people have encountered before, but…’ and explain how it works for you and your family.
maybe you’ll get people to open up and listen and change their preconceived notions.

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]]> By: Mommela http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/comment-page-1/#comment-1457 Mommela Tue, 06 Mar 2007 15:38:41 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/#comment-1457 For strangers: "we're family." For acquaintances: "this is Mitzie [firstmom] and this is our daughter, BabyGirl." For strangers: “we’re family.”
For acquaintances: “this is Mitzie [firstmom] and this is our daughter, BabyGirl.”

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]]> By: Angela http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/comment-page-1/#comment-1456 Angela Tue, 06 Mar 2007 13:06:44 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/#comment-1456 Disclaimer that I've never faced this challenge (yet) and really am hoping my advice comes in handy, but even if it doesn't I'm wishing you the best. "This is my friend D. This is her son JD. This is our daughter Munchkin. (insert ages if that's the type of thing that happens at your library group)" You could just end there if that's what you feel like, or if you want to clarify/answer questions before they start you could add a quick bit about adoption. "Munchkin is my daughter as well because I gave birth to her and chose to place her in an open adoption with D and her husband. They're visiting with us right now." That answers how did you all meet and why are they in town as well... Sorry if my wording sucks but you get the idea, I hope. Also, I really had to suppress the urge to wave back at D through the computer screen. (and I may or may not have failed.) Best wishes with this. Disclaimer that I’ve never faced this challenge (yet) and really am hoping my advice comes in handy, but even if it doesn’t I’m wishing you the best.

“This is my friend D. This is her son JD. This is our daughter Munchkin. (insert ages if that’s the type of thing that happens at your library group)”

You could just end there if that’s what you feel like, or if you want to clarify/answer questions before they start you could add a quick bit about adoption. “Munchkin is my daughter as well because I gave birth to her and chose to place her in an open adoption with D and her husband. They’re visiting with us right now.” That answers how did you all meet and why are they in town as well…

Sorry if my wording sucks but you get the idea, I hope.

Also, I really had to suppress the urge to wave back at D through the computer screen. (and I may or may not have failed.)

Best wishes with this.

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]]> By: Holly http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/comment-page-1/#comment-1455 Holly Tue, 06 Mar 2007 04:45:30 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/#comment-1455 “This is my daughter, Munchkin, and this is her mom, D.” I like that “This is my daughter, Munchkin, and this is her mom, D.”

I like that

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]]> By: dawn http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/comment-page-1/#comment-1454 dawn Tue, 06 Mar 2007 03:32:44 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/#comment-1454 That's what Jessica does, too, "This is my daughter, Madison, and this is her mom, Dawn." And she leaves it at that. That’s what Jessica does, too, “This is my daughter, Madison, and this is her mom, Dawn.” And she leaves it at that.

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]]> By: Renee http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/comment-page-1/#comment-1453 Renee Tue, 06 Mar 2007 03:13:59 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/03/06/this-is-denise-my-lesbian-lover/#comment-1453 Hmmm....I think a variation of what Erin said could work! J: This is D, her son JD and our daughter Arianna. everyone else: HUH? Let them figure it out! You don't have to deny Arianna and I wouldn't either. She is your daughter. And you are proud of that! If people can't handle it, it is because THEY can't handle it, kwim?? Hmmm….I think a variation of what Erin said could work!

J: This is D, her son JD and our daughter Arianna.

everyone else: HUH?

Let them figure it out! You don’t have to deny Arianna and I wouldn’t either. She is your daughter. And you are proud of that! If people can’t handle it, it is because THEY can’t handle it, kwim??

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