Failures as a Mother
Posted: March 31, 2007 at 10:14 pmI hate when I fail as a Mom. When BigBrother gets so tired or is in so much pain from teething that he can’t be soothed, I feel worthless. Of course, it just so happened to happen today when we were visiting J’s side of the family. The first time I met said side of the family. And we had to leave early because BigBrother was exhausted and his teeth were absolutely killing him. (Of course my almost-seventeen month old would cut his two year molars.) So now I’m sure everyone was thinking that it’s painfully obvious why I placed Munchkin: I can’t even soothe my own child.
I hate this feeling.
The Discussion
see what everyone is saying
Jenna, anyone who’s had children understands what it’s like to have a toddler, especially a tired, teething one – and especially after just making a loooong car trip! Sometimes they simply cannot be soothed, no matter how hard you try or how wonderful a mother you are. I’m sure that no one thought badly of you simply because BigBrother was cranky. In fact, leaving early instead of forcing BigBrother to stay when he was obviously upset and uncomfortable shows that you are a GOOD mother and putting your child’s needs first.
You’re a wonderful mother Jen. To all your children.
Jenna, what Katie said. All parents have been through that with their children. Look, you’re tired too and have had and are still having a very emotional visit. Sleep on this, OK? I know this is all really hard on you. Big huge *hugs* to you. Be gentle to yourself as you go through this process; try to be anyways.
You ARE a great mom to your kids, like Katie said.
Absolutely — that is NOT failing as a mother; it’s reality with children. Your care, love and attention to BigBrother was apparent to me just by how you look at him! And hold him and love him. You are a great mom, truly one of the best I know! (And I know a lot of ‘em!)
I have a feeling that the first thing popping into their mind was something about how Arianna and the boys were when they were cutting their teeth.
JENNA.
Good. Grief. I. cannot. believe. you.
While you should be validated for feeling your own feelings, you know, KNOW, that BigBrother’s teeth are not a reflection of your decision to place Arianna. You need some serious cyber-hugging and a big fat e-margarita, chicky.
The more lime and salt the better.
AND, I might add: If for some insane reason there were people from that side of the family meeting you for the first time insensitive enough to have those thoughts privately, they don’t deserve to call you family. Period.
I will not let my heroes suffer alone.
Jenna,
What everyone said! J’s family has all been there, right? It’s just a parent thing. And really, it seems to me your recognizing that you needed to leave early with BigBrother who clearly wasn’t feeling up to his best — well, isn’t that the sign of a good parent? You just drove a long way to be there for Munchkin. No one can question your commitment to her.
Jenna,maybe they were thinking they must be bad people because they were relieved their kids were grown!
I think probably everyone who has ever had, or taken care of, a baby, has experienced trying to comfort a miserable, teething baby who cannot be soothed. And probably everyone has at some time thought that it was all their fault and that they weren’t good enough. But you ARE good enough… and before long, your little boy will be done teething, and he won’t remember the pain. (Do YOU remember teething???)
Good luck!
- Angel