Regarding my last post where I discuss being harassed by an adoption agency via Myspace: I’m really beefed about this event. Really freaking beefed! At first I was caught off guard and mildly shocked. Then I was somewhat offended. And as I sat in the realization that I had been all but propositioned for my child, I was pretty darn ticked off!

I’m tired of agencies. In general. It’s this kind of junk that they’re pulling, under the guise of “networking” that really yanks my chain. You don’t blindly contact a newly pregnant woman for “networking.” You contact her because you want her child; plain and simple. You don’t contact her because you think maybe she has other knocked up friends who you can steal children from; you’re honestly banking on the hopes that maybe this was some accidental pregnancy and maybe you can get your claws in before she realizes that motherhood is awesome… or before she contacts another agency.

My head is throbbing.

When I went back to investigate their MySpace page further, I really did the whole mini-vomit in my mouth experience. In their “networking” section, they list “exotic dancing.” BECAUSE ONLY STRIPPERS EXPERIENCE UNPLANNED PREGNANCIES?! My brain just exploded a little more. Not that there’s one thing wrong with strippers, but, uhm, excuse me? I just can’t even fathom that line of thought.

Of course, I can’t fathom the entire propositioning a pregnant woman on MySpace in the first place. I’m just not getting the thought process behind such an absolutely grotesque move. If you contact someone who is only 6weeks4days pregnant with your agency’s info, is that like calling “DIBS?!” Or shotgun for the front seat of the car? Are we now in a race to see who can talk a mother out of parenting her child first?

Because, you know what line I always get when I talk about the coercion that ANLC brought into our “relationship?” I get this: “Well, you contacted them. You should have thoroughly researched everything there was to know about adoption before contacting them. You should have known what you were getting into. It’s your fault.”  Again, this always comes from people who don’t understand that adoption agencies are trained to make expectant mothers doubt themselves (or, to be less broad, ANLC).

So how does this scenario factor in?

I didn’t contact this agency. They contacted ME. If I was a mother, unsure of what to do with my child and our future (which I’m not so buzz off), would their message have been the unstoppable snowball of self-doubt? I didn’t reach out to them; they sought out me. Or, more specifically, they sought out the unborn child growing within my womb. And, catching me so early, before I have a chance to bond with this child, would it be beneficial to their cause? I think so. Catch a mother before she identifies herself as such, before she bonds with the child she has conceived. Catch a mother before she starts researching resources. Catch a mother and make her feel indebted to you, for your emotional support during such a hard time in her life. Make her feel as if she has no other option. Heck, tell her that she has no other option.

How far would these people have gone?

Still, sitting here, half-a-day later, I am angry, upset, confused, worried and frustrated. Are we making any difference? In speaking out about the unethical agencies? The injustices caused by coercive tactics to get mothers to place? The hurt and pain? The grief? Is anyone listening? Can we ever possibly be louder than the agencies with all of the glitz and glam and promises that someday the pain will just magically disappear? (Because what do you want to hear? That it will last forever or that it will go away someday? I know what I believed.) Can we ever be in enough places to outnumber and outspeak these liars? Can we ever step out from under the “Angry Birth Mother” umbrella and have people ACTUALLY listen to us and believe what we’re saying?

Or will newly expectant mothers continue to be harassed by agencies on MySpace? On their blogs? In malls? In doctor’s offices? Where does it stop? When will it end? What can be done?

And, for the record, keep your paws, your thoughts and any other unethical crud off of this baby. If you thought I was overprotective Mamma-bear type with BigBrother and that pregnancy, well, NO ONE PROPOSITIONED ME FOR MY BABY. *cries*