Comments on: The Answer to the Question: We Gave Up A Lot http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/ Writing Our Ever-Evolving Story Fri, 12 Mar 2010 18:48:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: Coco http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/comment-page-1/#comment-2059 Coco Fri, 03 Aug 2007 17:27:37 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/#comment-2059 "And secondly, I need to be ready to answer ANY question she throws at me. Any question, even if it sucks the life out of me to answer it, honestly, without reservation. That causes me to pause now, dig deeper. It’s hard. It’s big. It’s scary." *nods* Oh, Jenna. I so, so hear you. It's so hard to imagine what I'll even say. It makes my throat close up just wondering about it. If it's even half of what Larry expressed, I tremble. I suspect that it will be at least that. “And secondly, I need to be ready to answer ANY question she throws at me. Any question, even if it sucks the life out of me to answer it, honestly, without reservation. That causes me to pause now, dig deeper. It’s hard. It’s big. It’s scary.”

*nods*

Oh, Jenna. I so, so hear you. It’s so hard to imagine what I’ll even say. It makes my throat close up just wondering about it. If it’s even half of what Larry expressed, I tremble. I suspect that it will be at least that.

]]> By: Jen http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/comment-page-1/#comment-2065 Jen Wed, 01 Aug 2007 01:50:54 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/#comment-2065 *tears* Oh hell, *more tears* *tears*

Oh hell, *more tears*

]]> By: ess922 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/comment-page-1/#comment-2062 ess922 Mon, 30 Jul 2007 01:15:24 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/#comment-2062 i'm an adoptive mom. i read this in the midst of a discussion with our son's birthmom about her idea to close the adoption completely. i sent her this post. it was so moving! i wish she felt as you have expressed here, that she wants and needs to be there for her son no matter what! he deserves that from her. and she deserves to know how much he needs her! we try to tell her all the time. but i think your words might hit home more than ours ever could. thank you! i’m an adoptive mom. i read this in the midst of a discussion with our son’s birthmom about her idea to close the adoption completely. i sent her this post. it was so moving! i wish she felt as you have expressed here, that she wants and needs to be there for her son no matter what! he deserves that from her. and she deserves to know how much he needs her! we try to tell her all the time. but i think your words might hit home more than ours ever could. thank you!

]]> By: cloudscome http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/comment-page-1/#comment-2063 cloudscome Sun, 29 Jul 2007 18:34:47 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/#comment-2063 Oh Jenna this is too huge for me to know how to respond. Heartbreak. I feel so inadequate. Oh Jenna this is too huge for me to know how to respond. Heartbreak. I feel so inadequate.

]]> By: D http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/comment-page-1/#comment-2064 D Sat, 28 Jul 2007 18:36:48 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/#comment-2064 Wow. You hit on something here that has been scaring the nonsense out of me lately, too. “If you could go back and change things, would you?” If I say yes, and she’s too young to process, does it make her resent her parents? Does it make her resent me if I say no? Do I avoid? Do I try some politically correct speech? And if she’s an adult when she asks? A happy, well-adjusted adult like I can only pray for? Does she really want to hear that I’d take it all back? What is the protocol? I’m so lost." How will she feel to know? When is it ok for her to know? Question upon questions upon questions. Oh *sigh* Wow. You hit on something here that has been scaring the nonsense out of me lately, too.

“If you could go back and change things, would you?” If I say yes, and she’s too young to process, does it make her resent her parents? Does it make her resent me if I say no? Do I avoid? Do I try some politically correct speech? And if she’s an adult when she asks? A happy, well-adjusted adult like I can only pray for? Does she really want to hear that I’d take it all back? What is the protocol? I’m so lost.”

How will she feel to know? When is it ok for her to know? Question upon questions upon questions. Oh *sigh*

]]> By: Amyadoptee http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/comment-page-1/#comment-2061 Amyadoptee Sat, 28 Jul 2007 14:56:23 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/#comment-2061 Ditto to both Possum and Dawnz says. I think that both Dawnz and Jenna are excellent parents. I don't think my amom has the heart to read this kind of stuff. Its hard stuff and my mom is not good at reading the hard stuff. She had a fit over the CI not revealing any information to me. Ditto to both Possum and Dawnz says. I think that both Dawnz and Jenna are excellent parents. I don’t think my amom has the heart to read this kind of stuff. Its hard stuff and my mom is not good at reading the hard stuff. She had a fit over the CI not revealing any information to me.

]]> By: dawnz http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/comment-page-1/#comment-2060 dawnz Sat, 28 Jul 2007 12:30:07 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/#comment-2060 Jenna, I have bookmarked his site. He has valuable things to say.Questions that as an adoptive mom I also need to be ready for. And I do have to agree with Possum too. You have been in Munchkin's life from the very start. At some point, I think for her to know that you would not have done it again would heal her at some very basic level. To be wanted SO much by ALL these people. That will be healing for her tender soul. d Jenna,
I have bookmarked his site. He has valuable things to say.Questions that as an adoptive mom I also need to be ready for.

And I do have to agree with Possum too. You have been in Munchkin’s life from the very start. At some point, I think for her to know that you would not have done it again would heal her at some very basic level. To be wanted SO much by ALL these people. That will be healing for her tender soul.
d

]]> By: prairieguy http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/comment-page-1/#comment-2066 prairieguy Sat, 28 Jul 2007 11:51:33 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/#comment-2066 I thank you both for your comments about my blog. I am happy by my sharing it that it may help birth mothers & adoptees prepare for a possible reunion. Reunions can be extremely difficult and should not be gone into lightly. I have added more to my blog this morning that you may also find of use...at least I hope so. Peace to you both! Larry~ I thank you both for your comments about my blog. I am happy by my sharing it that it may help birth mothers & adoptees prepare for a possible reunion. Reunions can be extremely difficult and should not be gone into lightly.

I have added more to my blog this morning that you may also find of use…at least I hope so.

Peace to you both!
Larry~

]]> By: Possum http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/comment-page-1/#comment-2058 Possum Sat, 28 Jul 2007 08:21:55 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/07/28/the-answer-to-the-question-we-gave-up-a-lot/#comment-2058 Oh my god Jenna. I have not been able to stop the tears. This man has put into words every thought that is in my brain. Words that I have never felt entitled to voice. Thank you for posting this. Please know that because you ARE thinking about this stuff - and writing about it here - together with the fact that you are already IN her life right from the beginning - your wee Munchkin will not feel half the emotions that we closed era adoptions actually do feel. Sending you BIG hugs from across the sea. Poss. xxxxxxxxx Oh my god Jenna.
I have not been able to stop the tears.
This man has put into words every thought that is in my brain.
Words that I have never felt entitled to voice.
Thank you for posting this.
Please know that because you ARE thinking about this stuff – and writing about it here – together with the fact that you are already IN her life right from the beginning – your wee Munchkin will not feel half the emotions that we closed era adoptions actually do feel.
Sending you BIG hugs from across the sea.
Poss. xxxxxxxxx

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