I don’t like summer. Many people look at me like I’ve just announced that I have a penchant for hot alien loving when I say that I don’t like summer. But, I don’t. I don’t like the heat. I don’t like the overly bright sun, blinding me and causing me to put icky feeling stuff on my skin to protect it from the harsh rays. I don’t like sweating without moving. (Sweating that occurs from legitimate movement is okay and actually celebrated. Sweating for breathing is ridiculous.) I don’t like humidity. I don’t like wearing minimal clothing.
I prefer fall and winter, with winter being my favorite season. I want turtlenecks and jeans. Sweatshirts and football games. Colorful leaves that you can see because you’re not blinded by sunlight or if you are blinded by sunlight it’s because everything is coated by a new snowfall. I prefer hot coccoa to cold drinks. Slippers. Long robes. Lots of blankets.
In fact, it’s the clothing issues that get to me the most. I don’t like wearing shorts. I don’t like skimpy tank tops (on me…!). I prefer to be covered. Not because I’m a prude. Or even that I’m overtly self-conscious (though I do have my issues). No. Quite frankly, I just like the way that a turtleneck looks on me; elongating my neck, framing the underside of my chin. I like hoodies. I like a good fit in a jean or a pair of courduroys and I love the way courduroys sound. I like pea coats… okay, I like any coats. I like the overall look that comes with cooler weather.
I don’t like to be partially naked, exposing things.
So why the heck do I blog like I do? I don’t know. I’ve been feeling very naked in blog land lately. I’ve been on a writing binge; dumping absolutely everything that’s coming into mind so that it doesn’t fester within me and become a boil on my soul. And the thoughts and emotions are coming steadily, without ceasing as of late. I need a break from my own mind. Is this possible?
Laying it all out on the line on this blog is usually freeing. My anger doesn’t seem so scary once it’s put to “paper” over here. Usually. My regret doesn’t seem so overwhelming when it’s stated outside instead of echoing in my heart. Usually. My fears aren’t so encompassing that I can’t move past my anxiety when I come here and dialog with myself and others. Usually.
Today, I’m feeling over-exposed. I’m feeling like I went to school naked. Not just without a bra on… naked-naked.
Part of me wants to hit the delete button. And hide. And run away. Knowing, logically, that this feeling will pass when I deal with whatever I’m dealing with… that would be a really dumb thing to do; delete everything I’ve processed here. Part of me wants to say to newcomers, “Oh, this is all fictional. It’s not real.” But it is real. In fact, it’s so real that it hurts at times. And by at times, I do mean right now.
I’m working towards something new as of late. I can feel it. But learning something new, while naked, isn’t always flattering to those who are watching. So be kind as I figure out what is moving within me and where it is taking me. I’m vulnerable and anxious. I’m curious as to what is behind the changing curtain. Is it something I even want to put on and deal with? Or is it more wonderful and beautiful than I could have imagined to design for myself?
I wait. Purging my thoughts as they come, fast and furious. Something is coming. Fall Fashion for the Chronicles Blog, 2007. Complete with turtlenecks. Until then, we blog naked.
We mourn naked.
11 Responses to “Naked Blogging”
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My name is Jenna. I blog here, 
While I love the heat, I’m with you on the exposure. Don’t like it much. Maybe I’ll try saris and such. As far as the bloggin’ nekkidness, I hear you. I force myself to stay nekkid, though. Otherwise, what’s the point?
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maybe I wasnt supposed to laugh, but this post made me chuckle.
i totally understand.
and yeah, i hate summer too. spring and fall are my seasons.
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You’re wonderful and I heart you.
And your blogging naked is way brave and has inspired me very much. I wanted you to know that.
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I am totally with you on the clothing thing. I like jeans, sweaters, hoodies, sweater hoodies, hoodie sweaters…
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I know that you write for you and not your reader (isn’t that why we all should write), but tonight, I can’t tell you what comfort reading this after a really intense (but much needed) therapy session. We do mourn naked – it’s the only way to get through it is to reveal it, strip it, lay it all out, no crevices hidden.
I haven’t had the courage yet to write about the session, but reading this, maybe I can find it.
Thank you.
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I did delete all my posts. I have learned a lot reading your blogs. Learned a lot about adoption, loss, love and life. I tried to reach out and touch a controversial subject in my blog (that was really important to me) and could not face the hurtful comments, so I deleted the posts, just to stop the controversy. Keep blogging, keep saying what your are saying, you are touching people.
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I’m not avoiding your nakedness – celebrate it here. It’s hard, but I believe it’s good for you.
But I”m going to comment on the light side today -
AAAaaah crunchy leaves, pea coats and cords – I LOVE FALL. I always thought that is due to my September birthday, but maybe it’s more than than.
Don’t get me wrong, summer goes by too quickly, but I cannot wait to breathe in that brisk fall air and enjoy blue skies, colorful leaves, and layering the clothing!
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Fall and Winter rock. And so do you.
Boo Summer. Give me apple picking, crisp air, crackling fires, falling leaves. Give me long coats and boots and thick socks and flannel jammies. Throw in some caroling and sleigh rides and Christmas cookies.
Now. On to the thing. Naked or not, I am here and I’m so glad you are too. It seems to be a trend that a lot of us are kinda struggling with something this summer, doesn’t it? I wonder if it means something important.
((((HUG))))
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[...] few other bloggers seem to be hitting on similar issues these days too — call them emotions just bubbling under or to [...]
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“we mourn naked” Oh yes. And it is hard to do it in company, but it makes all the difference. I am inspired by you!
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[...] Naked Blogging [...]
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