Comments on: On Feeling Threatened, Flip Side http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/09/03/on-feeling-threatened-flip-side/ Writing Our Ever-Evolving Story Sat, 04 Feb 2012 03:41:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Jenna http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/09/03/on-feeling-threatened-flip-side/comment-page-1/#comment-2228 Jenna Thu, 06 Sep 2007 20:37:21 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/09/03/on-feeling-threatened-flip-side/#comment-2228 Peach; the thing is, my daughter already understands who I am, that she grew within my belly and that I'm her birth mother. So there's not a sudden or later realization that you have spoken of. Is there some minor confusion as she has worked through those thought processes; yes, but, they're short-lived as she has her parents, myself and others to help her when she has questions. Right now, she treats you like you're the dumb one if you ask in whose belly she grew. Of course, this is our unique experience! That said, no, it's not a win-win situation. Ever. For anyone. And it equally disgusts me that the agencies and attorneys (and others) use it to entice mothers to place their babies. Issues like these need to be brought up BEFORE TPR is signed. Peach; the thing is, my daughter already understands who I am, that she grew within my belly and that I’m her birth mother. So there’s not a sudden or later realization that you have spoken of. Is there some minor confusion as she has worked through those thought processes; yes, but, they’re short-lived as she has her parents, myself and others to help her when she has questions. Right now, she treats you like you’re the dumb one if you ask in whose belly she grew. Of course, this is our unique experience!

That said, no, it’s not a win-win situation. Ever. For anyone. And it equally disgusts me that the agencies and attorneys (and others) use it to entice mothers to place their babies. Issues like these need to be brought up BEFORE TPR is signed.

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]]> By: Peach http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/09/03/on-feeling-threatened-flip-side/comment-page-1/#comment-2227 Peach Thu, 06 Sep 2007 20:18:47 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/09/03/on-feeling-threatened-flip-side/#comment-2227 The thing is....to an adopted child, calling a woman who raises you "Mom" is true at the time. But when the child grows up and realizes that his/her "real" Mom was in the picture all along and yet he/she was playing a role in a family, not really understanding or knowing the real issues ~ that is when I would assume the problems would begin. It smacks you in the face ~ oh my goodness, she ISN'T my mother afterall. I am not who I was told, afterall. And then the adoptee has to deal with all those buried questions and musings. I feel for you having to deal with this delicacy of open adoption. Closed adoption is no better. The adoptee is clueless, lives a pretend life, and has a gut-wrenching wake-up call at some point in their life. It disgusts me how "professionals" tout open adoption as the true win-win. Win-win for who? The thing is….to an adopted child, calling a woman who raises you “Mom” is true at the time. But when the child grows up and realizes that his/her “real” Mom was in the picture all along and yet he/she was playing a role in a family, not really understanding or knowing the real issues ~ that is when I would assume the problems would begin. It smacks you in the face ~ oh my goodness, she ISN’T my mother afterall. I am not who I was told, afterall. And then the adoptee has to deal with all those buried questions and musings. I feel for you having to deal with this delicacy of open adoption. Closed adoption is no better. The adoptee is clueless, lives a pretend life, and has a gut-wrenching wake-up call at some point in their life. It disgusts me how “professionals” tout open adoption as the true win-win. Win-win for who?

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]]> By: Jess http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/09/03/on-feeling-threatened-flip-side/comment-page-1/#comment-2226 Jess Tue, 04 Sep 2007 08:02:32 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/09/03/on-feeling-threatened-flip-side/#comment-2226 Thank you for your unflinching honesty. These are the truths that rarely make into discussions about adoption. Refreshing! I look forward to reading more. Thank you for your unflinching honesty. These are the truths that rarely make into discussions about adoption. Refreshing! I look forward to reading more.

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]]> By: Luann http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/09/03/on-feeling-threatened-flip-side/comment-page-1/#comment-2225 Luann Tue, 04 Sep 2007 00:43:33 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/09/03/on-feeling-threatened-flip-side/#comment-2225 I'm right there with Judy. I appreciate everything you write as well. You have opened my eyes to what it feels like to be a first mother. I started reading other blogs due to your list on the right. And they as well opened my eyes even more. I gotta tell you that I'm terrified to make our second adoption open. But if I went into it with someone just like you it would be a totally different story. I hope to be as blessed as D someday. Keep sharing..please. I’m right there with Judy. I appreciate everything you write as well.

You have opened my eyes to what it feels like to be a first mother. I started reading other blogs due to your list on the right. And they as well opened my eyes even more.

I gotta tell you that I’m terrified to make our second adoption open. But if I went into it with someone just like you it would be a totally different story.

I hope to be as blessed as D someday.

Keep sharing..please.

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]]> By: Judy http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/09/03/on-feeling-threatened-flip-side/comment-page-1/#comment-2224 Judy Mon, 03 Sep 2007 20:26:39 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2007/09/03/on-feeling-threatened-flip-side/#comment-2224 Oh Jenna. I always SO appreciate your unflinching honesty. I know I've said it before; I hope you don't mind me saying it again. You've really helped me a lot in my own journey. Holy crap, every time I say that it brings tears to my eyes. Dingdang it! Anyways, I appreciate <strong>you</strong>. And I so appreciate your willingness to try to walk in others' shoes. I'll read the other post after I'm back from being outside with Nate. Looking forward to it. Oh Jenna. I always SO appreciate your unflinching honesty. I know I’ve said it before; I hope you don’t mind me saying it again. You’ve really helped me a lot in my own journey.

Holy crap, every time I say that it brings tears to my eyes. Dingdang it! Anyways, I appreciate you. And I so appreciate your willingness to try to walk in others’ shoes.

I’ll read the other post after I’m back from being outside with Nate. Looking forward to it.

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