Your Mom Was Pro-Life! (Or… not.)
Posted: September 19, 2007 at 4:54 pmI saw a bumper sticker sometime in the past few months. It’s been on my mind. It makes me giggle sometimes. But mostly it smacks of stupidity.
Your Mom was Pro-Life!
Really? She was? All Moms, everywhere, are automatically pro-life because they have children? I think not, buddy in the pick-up. I think not.
I can’t count, on fingers and toes, the number of pro-choice Mamas I know that purposefully conceived their children. Pro-choice both before and after that conception, pregnancy and delivery, nothing about their views changed. They still believe, without a doubt, that removing the choice will only create further problems.
I can’t count, on fingers and toes, the number of pro-choice Mamas I know that experienced unplanned pregnancies. In this grouping, those that chose to parent their children sometimes tossed the idea of abortion back and forth. They asked questions of themselves and those around them offering support what would be best in this scenario. Choosing to carry an unplanned pregnancy to term doesn’t automatically throw you in the pro-life category. It means you made a… choice. (That said, some are pro-life. I’m just showing the difference.)
Of those that chose to place their babies for adoption, it is often assumed that this grouping of Mothers features a majority of pro-lifers. I am here to debunk that myth (while acknowledging that some, are, indeed pro-life). Again, I cannot count, on fingers and toes, the number of Mamas who placed their babies for adoption that identify themselves as pro-choice. Like their parenting counterparts, they were faced with choices. They first had to decide whether or not to abort. Some had the decision made for them either by family or by a pregnancy discovered too late in the game. Others weighed the pros and cons and found themselves choosing to carry the pregnancy to term for a myriad of reasons. Regarding the Munchkin’s pregnancy, I chose to carry to term because I was under the impression that I was going to parent. Things changed mid-pregnancy (obviously) and that’s not what happened. Then these Mothers, like myself, are faced with the next decision of parenting or placing their child for adoption. For whatever reason, they place. That doesn’t mean that they’re all pro-life. It means that they were faced with decisions and made choices. (Of note: not all mothers who relinquish children are afforded 100% choice, especially those from the closed adoption era. Unfortunately, there are still unethical practices and not-so-supportive family members forcing their decisions on mothers in today’s adoptions.)
And so, I’m just baffled by that guy’s bumper sticker. My children? Have a pro-choice Mother. One was an unexpected blessing into our lives and her parents’ lives. One is an angel watching over us all. And two (though one still in utero) were meticulously planned… and have shaken our world in so many unexpected and wonderful ways.
Of Moms that fall under the pro-choice camp, I’m betting you’ll find a slew of different stories and reasons as to why they identify themselves in that way. I’m guessing that no two Mothers are going to have the exact same reasoning as personal experience and opinion are sure to color their mindset. However, I’m sure they would all be equally amused by the bumper sticker. I’m curious as to what their rebuttal bumper sticker might be.
My Kid’s Mom is Pro-Choice? Having Babies Doesn’t Make You Pro-Life? I Chose To Have My Children? Or, maybe, if we were feeling uber-snarky, perhaps: I Wish Your Mom was Pro-Choice. Okay, okay, perhaps a line was crossed with the latter. All the same, it goes to prove that bumper sticker politics and beliefs can’t possibly begin to cover the wide range of opinions that exist for a whole group.
One group you should never try to speak for is a group of Moms. I mean, we never agree on anything! Ha!
The Discussion
see what everyone is saying
Awesome post, Jenna! As always!!!
De-lurking to say how much I loved this post (and your blog in general!). One of the more witless things some pro-lifers have done is spread this misconception that pro-choice people believe we should abort all babies. Just, you know, because we can. Meaning, I guess, that pro-choice equals Get Rid of People In General.
Would you mind if I put a link to your blog on mine?
agreed with dawn. awesome post.
i agree on a number of levels. first, on the most personal, i considered aborting my daughter. i visited PP and had someone offer to pay for it. I chose not to. Not because of any pro-life belief, but becuase I wanted my child. Imagine how difficult it was to make that decision only to later lose her to adoption?
I also dont think abortion and adoption should be mixed. It blurs the lines. Sure, unplanned pregnancies can lead to abortion or adopton but one is not better or worse than the other. Trust me, I know. I have done both. The pro-lifers use abortion to feed adoption. I have problems with that. Why dont the pro-lifers use abortion to feed family-preservation? Too often they say, dont abort your baby, give it up for adoption. Why dont they just say keep your baby?
Grrr.
Also de-lurking. This was an awesome post. That bumper sticker really shows how some people can be so simple minded and ignorant. Although I have never seen the particular phrase that is here, I have seen one that says
“Choose Life, Your Mom Did”
At first, I thought it was a pro-life sticker, but after reading this post, I realized that it could be interpreted as pro-choice. The word “choose” is in there, afterall. I would assume that the owner of the bumper sticker intended for it to be pro-life and just haven’t realized what others could interpret it to mean.
HA!
I admit it. I laughed at “I wish your mom was Pro-Choice”. Hard.
I love your zingers, J. Hee hee.
Wonderful post.
Jenna – YES!!!!! Thank you! I am one of those pro-choice “moms” who chose adoption. I don’t know how often people assume that I’m pro-life in a sense that I feel that abortion is a sin. Being pro-choice does not mean being pro abortion.
I wanted to say that being prochoice to me means that I have all my choices available to me. Without the freedom of choice we could live in a world where all women facing an unplanned pregnancy could be forced to parent, or forced to place or forced to abort. That’s the scary thing. The choice to decide what’s right for us, our bodies and our babies is a powerful thing.
Reducing complex issues to one-liners that fit on bumper stickers is just another version of sound-byte politics. It’s just not a good idea.
Plus, bumper sticker politics mostly just aggravate me, and aggravated isn’t a good thing to be when you’re driving.
Thanks for another good post.
My birthmother was pro-choice. She made the choice to give me birth and place me for adoption because she knew she was not capable of raising me.
Unfortunately I was raised in foster care rather than adopted.
I have a saying: Pro-Life Does NOT end at birth! I even did a blog entry on this subject.
Peace,
Larry~
Yes..yes…YES!
Finally someone putting the profound issue out there in plain English for people to read!
You.Are.Genius.
*smooches you on cheek*
The sticker is even more ridiculous when we consider that some women facing unplanned pregnancies actually receive pressure from their mothers to abort. Apparently those moms weren’t that “pro-life.”