At least people in SE Ohio are reading about adoption, even if they’re not talking about it in public venues. I logged into our (large) library network to request a copy of Identical Strangers : A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited… and while nineteen libraries in the network own a copy, they are all checked out. So, I requested a copy to be sent to our library when it becomes available. Would you believe that I’m NUMBER FORTY-FIVE in the queue?! Now I’m really intrigued by the book!

I cried in church today.

The “Angel Choir,” which is your typical little kids choir, presented their Christmas program this morning during service. And I sobbed. To be honest, Christmas music never fails to make me kind of weepy in the first place. But this year it was more than that.

Because she should have been up there, too.  She’s finally the age where she could have participated. She would have been singing. And dancing. And wearing an angel costume. And loving the heck out of it. And I would have been so proud. I would have been up with the other Mamas, clutching my camera and just beaming back at her. I would have given her a big hug afterwards and told her how proud I was of her.

But it didn’t happen like that. And it won’t happen like that.

The kids’ program didn’t make me weepy like this last year because, at our church, she would have been too young to participate. But this year, her first “of age” year, it just smacked me in the face.

She would have been the cutest one up there, of course. And most talented.

Alas.