I’m going to come off sounding like a meanie-face if I address the previously mentioned comment. (For those who don’t know, if you’ve never commented on this blog, it automatically gets held in moderation. Hence the reason that it didn’t go immediately public and why it’s still nagging at me every time I login to my dashboard. I’m not purposefully screening comments that I disagree with. Unless you’re from my unethical agency. And then you’re on the ban list.) I don’t think there’s any way around it. Meanie-faced-ness is going to come out.

Because I don’t think the commenter meant any harm. But her comments are so… placating… so dismissive of not only my experience but the experience of a large number of birth parents. And I just can’t figure out how to say, “Hey, thanks for trying to say something nice but OMGYOUARESOOFFBASE!” without sounding … mean!

Obviously, since I’m still dwelling on this “out loud” on my blog, I am planning on addressing it. And rather soon. I’m getting there. I’ve started a draft. And then I came to write this post because, from my first sentence, I can feel that my meanie-headed-ness is going to come out full force. Or, it feels like meanie-headed-ness. When in all reality, I feel like dismissing someone’s complete experience just because you can is rather mean. But is it mean if they’re clueless? Or is it just ignorance being bliss? And if it’s the latter, do I just have to suck it up and accept the fact that they meant no harm and not offer up a counter view? Or am I allowed to address it in full force?

I have all of these questions every time I view the dang comment. I get all riled up. And then I remind myself that the commenter probably didn’t mean harm and probably has no clue as to how hurtful the words are when they just dismiss my experience. But then I get all riled up again. And then I feel bad for getting riled up.

Do you see the cycle?

Soon. Soon.