I saw this title, “First Moms Face Off“, and figured it was a rant between various and opposing birth mothers. Nope. Not at all. My guess is that none of the mothers in the article want to be referred to as a first mother in the way that my sisters are. Oh, language, how you amuse me!

Found a site that kind of makes me ill. But this isn’t a scathing review of the site. (Not necessary. It’s ick enough on its own!) My question is about this statement:

83% of women who struggle after an abortion say they would have changed their decision if they’d had support from a partner, family member or special person during pregnancy.

Maybe it is true. (Though you can skew statistics to say whatever you want!) I don’t doubt that some mothers who abort have regrets. But that’s not my experience so I’m not going to hit on it anymore out of respect for the issues that come with that life decision. But I do wonder what the numbers would say about adoption.

How many mothers would have parented if they would have had support from a partner, family member or special person? How many mothers would have been able to calm down if someone had taken their hand and said, “It’s okay.” How many mothers would have benefited from someone showing them some info about assistance made available to them and their child?

It kind of breaks my heart a little. I find sadness in the fact that the decision to place is most made completely alone or with very little positive support for any other option other than placement. Choice is a relative term when everyone that “matters” in your life is telling you that you must do something or the consequences will be heavily paid. For those mothers that had absolutely no one, either by the choice of not divulging the pregnancy or because they were shunned after the pregnancy became known, I’m wondering if they ever felt that there was another option. At all.

I wish there was a resource without a presumptive name (like that site which gives expectant mothers a title that they don’t need until the Termination of Parental Rights is signed) that would just “be there” for mothers (and fathers!). I wish I could “do” more than sit here and write. But it’s all I’ve got right now.

So write I must.