Comments on: What Would the Numbers Say? http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2008/02/21/what-would-the-numbers-say/ Writing Our Ever-Evolving Story Sat, 04 Feb 2012 03:41:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Jan Baker http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2008/02/21/what-would-the-numbers-say/comment-page-1/#comment-2750 Jan Baker Wed, 27 Feb 2008 08:25:27 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2008/02/21/what-would-the-numbers-say/#comment-2750 Help to place a baby for adoption - help to convince a woman not to have an abortion - just wish there was more help available for moms to parent. Our priorities in this regard are messed up big time! Yondall - I know several women who have had at least 2 unplanned pregnancies. Once they chose adoption - once abortion. By far, they all agree that the adoption option was a million times harder. Yet, I know that some women are affected deeply by abortion as well. Yeah, I know some folks want to say, "But what about the baby?" Not interested in the abortion v. adoption debate. I think the majority of women I know choose between adoption and parenting. Help to place a baby for adoption – help to convince a woman not to have an abortion – just wish there was more help available for moms to parent. Our priorities in this regard are messed up big time!

Yondall – I know several women who have had at least 2 unplanned pregnancies. Once they chose adoption – once abortion. By far, they all agree that the adoption option was a million times harder. Yet, I know that some women are affected deeply by abortion as well.

Yeah, I know some folks want to say, “But what about the baby?” Not interested in the abortion v. adoption debate. I think the majority of women I know choose between adoption and parenting.

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]]> By: Yondall http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2008/02/21/what-would-the-numbers-say/comment-page-1/#comment-2749 Yondall Thu, 21 Feb 2008 16:30:51 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2008/02/21/what-would-the-numbers-say/#comment-2749 I'm too much of a coward to put this on my site, and you don't have to publish it if you don't want it on yours. I know the sort of comments it is likely to generate. My sister was coerced into an abortion when she was 17. My mother had, literally, been a caretaker for someone or other since she was 14. She took care of siblings and a father, a husband, then children, working or going to school full-time all the way through. When my sister got pregnant my mother was one year away from freedom. She wasn't going to give that up. I've always been torn about what my mother did. On one hand I know that she had the right to be finished. Yet when her step-mother died and her father once again needed a care-taker she sold her house and moved across the country to care for him until he died. My mother took care of everyone, but refused to give my sister support when she wanted it. (And I am aware that though my sister was angry at my mother, it did not even occur to her to approach my father. There would be no help there.) And if my sister had told her about it later in the pregnancy, my mother would have coerced her inot relinquishment. I'm pro-choice. I believe that women should be able to choose, and I have always been uncomfortable that my sister did not get to choose. It makes me sad and I know my sister regrets it and has only recently forgiven my mother (25 years later). But see, I also think that what happened to her was less bad than what would have happened to her had she got pregnant in an earlier decade or told my mother later in the pregnancy. It made my sister angry that she was coerced into an abortion she did not want. She was mad at my mother for years, but I cannot begin to imagine how she would have responded had she been coerced into relinquishment. She would not have been angry at my mother; she would have been devastated. And so would have the rest of us. <em>Yondall's last blog post..</em><a href='http://pflagfostermom.blogspot.com/2008/02/what-does-anxiety-mean.html' rel="nofollow">What does anxiety mean?</a> I’m too much of a coward to put this on my site, and you don’t have to publish it if you don’t want it on yours. I know the sort of comments it is likely to generate.

My sister was coerced into an abortion when she was 17. My mother had, literally, been a caretaker for someone or other since she was 14. She took care of siblings and a father, a husband, then children, working or going to school full-time all the way through. When my sister got pregnant my mother was one year away from freedom. She wasn’t going to give that up.

I’ve always been torn about what my mother did. On one hand I know that she had the right to be finished. Yet when her step-mother died and her father once again needed a care-taker she sold her house and moved across the country to care for him until he died. My mother took care of everyone, but refused to give my sister support when she wanted it. (And I am aware that though my sister was angry at my mother, it did not even occur to her to approach my father. There would be no help there.)

And if my sister had told her about it later in the pregnancy, my mother would have coerced her inot relinquishment.

I’m pro-choice. I believe that women should be able to choose, and I have always been uncomfortable that my sister did not get to choose. It makes me sad and I know my sister regrets it and has only recently forgiven my mother (25 years later).

But see, I also think that what happened to her was less bad than what would have happened to her had she got pregnant in an earlier decade or told my mother later in the pregnancy. It made my sister angry that she was coerced into an abortion she did not want. She was mad at my mother for years, but I cannot begin to imagine how she would have responded had she been coerced into relinquishment. She would not have been angry at my mother; she would have been devastated.

And so would have the rest of us.

Yondall’s last blog post..What does anxiety mean?

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