When It All Comes Back to Good
Posted: April 11, 2008 at 7:33 amThose in my smaller personal circle already know the news. I’ve been keeping it under my hat for sometime. Since February, really. At first, I didn’t want to say anything in case it fell through the cracks. But then I signed the contract and my hopes raised a little bit. Still, I knew things could fail and I kept my mouth shut. I worked, feverishly, to create something that represented me (and us) in the best and most realistic way. I wanted feedback but didn’t want to out myself. And so, once again, my Husband took on yet another role in my life as editor. Final copies and edits were decided upon. And still, I said nothing. I feared looking like a failure if something happened. I hate failure. Hate it.
And then the paycheck came. And I shared the news with a few more people. But I didn’t take it “public public” on blogs. A mention on twitter. A photo on flickr. But no “coverage” on any of my blogs. What if the entire company went bankrupt or exploded to smithereens before it all came to pass? I just couldn’t do it.
But I’m physically holding two copies in my hand now. Advance copies, yes. So, something could still explode before it hits newsstands, but I feel pretty confident as, if something bizarre happened, I could scan it for the reading public. What am I talking about?
I’ve been published in Redbook. Of course, it’s about my(our) adoption story. The entire article has seven personal essays that focus on the harder sides of motherhood. (Pregnancy loss, abortion, postpartum depression/psychosis, premature birth, pregnancy & labor complications and stillbirth.) Oh. And me. I represent the adoption portion of motherhood issues.
My editors wanted me to be honest, to focus on things that were hard. And I did. I did include some points of positivity as well as I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am lucky and blessed to be a part of a fully open adoption, to be a part of her life. I think I represented myself and our story well. I think I represented mothers of loss in a decent way. Someone, somewhere, will find it too negative, even among the other stories. Someone, somewhere, will find it too positive to represent birth mothers as a whole. But it’s my story. And I told it. With my own words.
None of it would have happened without this blog. This blog that was started and moved around and dissed by others at various points in time. This blog that has garnered me hate mail, nasty comments and people who assume themselves to be my enemies. This blog that I have often wondered if I should continue writing in, if there is any point in sharing my story over and over, in rehashing issues and memories and stories and events and news and emotions.
I’m still feeling reserved on the blog. I’m in a strange place as I deal with my hormonal fallout and postpartum depression but strive for healing and wellness. I don’t always know how much to share and what to keep for myself. But I am re-encouraged to keep writing at this point. What I have to say isn’t always happy. It isn’t always easy. But it’s always my truth. And I’ll keep telling it.
Pick up the May issue of Redbook magazine (Helen Hunt on the cover). To hit stands in a week or two. But keep the hate mail to a minimum. My delete button can only be pressed so many times. Oh, I’m funny today.
The Discussion
see what everyone is saying
Congratulations!! Two of my favorites to read together – you and Redbook. I can’t wait!
JENNA! THAT IS AWESOME! I”M SO PROUD OF YOU!
I can’t wait to read it!
erinthebeekeeper’s last blog post..I’m looking forward
sniff~~I knew you “when”…
sorta;lol
I am not at all surprised. You and TGmom are very gifted writers and I think some day you will both be published, on TV ( dancing with the “authors”) ect….
Congrats Jenna!!!!!!
Laurie’s last blog post..These Great Adoptive Parents Are Inspiring
HOLY CRAP JENNA! This is HUGE! Wow, how awesome. CONGRATULATIONS!!! Now I can’t wait for May to roll around.
mia’s last blog post..The Climb
WOO-HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay for you, Jenna! That is incredible, though, I do have to add, not surprising at all. I always knew you were on your way to publication!
CONGRATS!
Coco’s last blog post..The Horror of the Hokey-Pokey
You. Rock!!!!
I’m proud of you!!!
Judy’s last blog post..Maybe I?m amazed . . .
Congratulations!
It doesn’t surprise me though, because in the end, your whole story needs to be read by lots of people (as in published, as in a book). I am looking forward to reading the article.
Tammy’s last blog post..I Should Really Be Painting
proud of you, girl! You have so many important things to say. Always believe that!
Way to go, Jenna!!! Congratulations!!
You are making an incredible difference in the world!
Margie’s last blog post..Teasing it all apart
Cant wait to read it congrats!
Katja’s last blog post..A crazy week.
Ahhhh! Congrats Jenna!!!!! I will most certainly pick up a copy and display it prominently on our coffee table! (And read it of course!) So great for your story have the ability to reach such a wide audience of people that may or may NOT be touched by adoption!!!
(And thanks for the thoughts Laurie….we’ll have to see about all that though! haha)
Thanksgivingmom’s last blog post..Insecure? Me? NEVER!
YEAH!
I was holding off saying anything…..but it was lkilling me especially since I DID run right off and try to find the issue!
So proud …sniff…
Claudia Corrigan D’arcy’s last blog post..A 17 year old dad.. doing it right!
Congratulations! That is so exciting! I can’t wait until the issue comes out. :o)
Congrats Jenna :) That’s really awesome!
I, and the family, were featured in their February series on adoption. It was a positive experience for us (a couple of strange grocery store encounters “aren’t you the lady from redbook ….”) and I am sure it will be for you as well!
Jen
This is wonderful! Congratulations!!!
Heather.PNR’s last blog post..For T
Congrats on having your first story published… It’s an amazing feeling when you see your words in print for the first time. I still have a dozen copies of my first published work (you know, just in case 11 of them catch on fire, I’ll still have at least one… lol) so don’t feel bad when you buy a Redbook at every checkout line you’re in!
I look forward to reading it.
K’s last blog post..I’m the ‘unethical’ in unethical Adoption?
Ama-ZING!!!!! Congratulations Jenna!
paige’s last blog post..Where do they make balloons?
How cool!!
I got my May issue the other day and that was the FIRST thing I looked for since I had seen your flickr mention of the paycheck!
Anyway, congrats :)
Erin’s last blog post..Why I blog
Don’t discount all the people who assume themselves to be your friends, too.
Congratulations, Jenna. You tell a powerful story so well.
Lori’s last blog post..Spirographica
People are learning from you. I know I have!
Congrats and I can’t wait to read it!
Congratulations!!! I will definitely get a copy. And, no hate mail from me, I promise. I’m glad for other mothers who get more than me, and I recognize that no matter how much more, we are all still missing our children. They are crumbs, sometimes. But I also remember the surge of hope and love when I get to glimpse a new picture of my daughter.
Sending many hugs to you!
HeatherRainbow’s last blog post..I feel for you Cindy Jordan
Jenna -
Sorry to bug you again (and you don’t need to unscreen this comment) but I wanted to let you know that when I was at the grocery store they still had the April Redbook up… but I went to the Barnes and Nobel to get a new sketch pad and found the May Redbook there!! Thought you might want to pass that on to your readers…
K
K’s last blog post..Thursday 13
I’m so happy for you … and for the changes you can make with this. These are the keys to opening eyes, educating others and, ultimately, helping the children of adoption. The more people who understand, the more exposure and access people have to real stories, the better the chances of real understanding.
I’m proud of you .. and I agree with Lori, please don’t discount those of us who (take it upon ourselves to) call you a friend.
You are wholeheartedly supported in my household as my (adult adoptee) husband also is an avid reader. (Have I ever mentioned that?) You’re on a first-name basis over here, and we both love learning from you, crying with you, and celebrating the special moments with you.
I’ll be buying my copy for sure.
And ya know — light bulb momnent, folks! — those of us touched by adoption in myriad ways can keep Jenna’s conversation going (and support her) by writing to Redbook after the issue is out and read. Letters to the Editor will help to further the impact.
If I could reach you from here in NJ, I’d give you a high-five. (Speaking of which, maybe we can try to have a quick visit one day when you’re in Philly next time?)
Since geography doesn’t allow the high-five, I offer you a loud and thunderous “Brava!”
Gretchen
Gretchen aka mamagigi’s last blog post..Overheard in my little world
I’ve read you for something like years. Wow. I’m proud of you… where your writing has taken you. It’s an important subject, and you’re an important writer.
Michele’s last blog post..Giveaway Reminder?
WOW! I can’t wait to buy the magazine. It’s going to be a permanent fixture in my office at the college!!!
I can’t wait to read it.
This is wonderful Jenna! I’ll get a copy this weekend.
Wow! You amaze me everytime I read your blog. How awesome is it for other mom’s and their kids to be able to read your story in a national magazine. Thanks for continuing to bang the drum for my daughters and their moms! you are terrific!
Congratulations!! I can’t wait to see it. I am so proud of you.
cloudscome’s last blog post..April 12 Haiku & Poem in Your Pocket
OMG I “know” someone famous. Congratulations! You deserve it!
Congratulations! Can’t wait to pick up a copy. And I second the idea for people to send in a Letter to the Editor after reading it. Yay, you!
Good for you Jenna! That is wonderful. I’m going to buy a copy just to read your essay.
Beth’s last blog post..Ouch! There’s a hole in my head!
Jenna that is great news! I am looking forward to reading.
Congrats! Good for you! I will definitely pick up a copy!
Jenna ~ I got Redbook and am so proud of your article. As an adult adoptee it brings healing to my heart to read all the brave first Moms who are not afraid to speak out about their experiences and loss and how it is so inherent in adoption. Thank you!
I also enjoyed reading the article about Helen Hunt and her starring role in the upcoming movie “She Found Me” about a reunion. Can’t wait to see the movie!
Peach’s last blog post..Laminin
CONGRATULATIONS, Jenna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can’t wait to get a copy!!!!!!!!
Nicole’s last blog post..Context, context, context
Jenna -
CONGRATULATIONS!!! That is awesome. I received my copy of Redbook today in the mail.
I saw Helen Hunt on the cover as I was walking through Target, so of course I had to go and read this article! I was impressed by your openess in being able to admit your real hurt and even your misgivings in such an honest way. Even so, it was not self-pitying. I am so proud of you for being so noticably strong and so able to share yourself . . . and for living life well.
Jenna,
I waited to read your article until I got to it in my Redbook (I subscribe). It was beautiful. Congratulations and thank you.
PS
Poor_Statue’s last blog post..Update