I know that I would be in a better mood this week if I focused my energies on something else. Like the laundry that never ends. Or the fish-face that this kid next to me is making saying, “FISH, MOMMY! I FISH!” Or the slobber that the other one is currently pooling into my lap. Or the fact that my Husband just got a prestigious award for saving someone’s life. Or the nice weather. Or. Or. Or.
And really. I am focused on a lot of that. But Mother’s Day keeps smacking me in the face. Every commercial break. Every conversation with people who don’t understand the trigger issue of the day for me. Every piece of junk mail. Every spam mail. Every flipping forward. Every blog post written by well-meaning author.
And the latter is the one that has me in a tizzy this morning.
I came across a piece that “honored” mothers this morning. Mothers of all kinds. Mothers who have lost children to miscarriage, premature birth, stillbirth, SIDS and other childhood deaths. Mothers who have struggled to conceive. Mothers who were “forced into single motherhood.” (Not my words.) Step mothers.
But, oh, no mention of birth mothers. We don’t deserve to be honored. (Also? Foster mothers weren’t mentioned so I was peeved for them as well.) We didn’t do anything more than get knocked up and push out a kid. We aren’t anything important in our child’s life. We aren’t deserving of a mention, a nod or any other form of recognition. We are nothing. Nothing.
It’s crap like that… that leave me wishing this week was already over and I could fully concentrate on the big hoopla I’m planning for my Husband’s birthday. Some have said, “Well, just ignore the day.” Have you tried to ignore Mother’s Day? It’s all up in my computer, my television, my inbox, my snail mailbox, my telephone, my entire world. I would have to live in a cave. Which doesn’t sound like a bad idea. But then I couldn’t work and, well, things need to get done. Did I mention the laundry?
That said, The Today Show is featuring Single Moms right now. And while I can guess that they won’t bother to honor a birth mother this week, I smiled during this entire segment. These ladies are awesome and break myths and stereotypes as well. Go Mamas!
Okay. Off to kiss and cuddle wiggly-boys.
7 Responses to “Grumpy is as Grumpy Does”
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My name is Jenna. I blog here, 
A birth mom friend of mine got one of those sappy tributes from her son’s amom. It did include a mention of birth and amoms”
“This is for the mothers who gave birth to
babies they’ll never see. And the mothers
who took those babies and gave them homes.”
Nice, eh? Her son’s amom has a good relationship with her too…..
All those ads are making me wish the day was over too!
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Ignore mother’s day? Like it ignores us? Not likely. Hugs to you, mom of 3.
HeatherRainbow’s last blog post..The crying never ends
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{{{Hugs!!}}} I was just contemplating Mother’s Day & all it entails for birthmoms today, kinda why I came to read your blog to see if you’d posted anything yet. It seems society on a whole ignores birthmoms like they are some dirt swept under the rug.
K, I just posted a huge amount of junk about me & my problems and not about you! Just wanted to say that we’re thinking of you- Im sure Mother’s Day is a bittersweet time for you!
Momma Chaos’s last blog post..Name that tree.. or is it a bush??
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Why doesn’t Hallmark offer a section of cards for birth mothers, or for mother’s who have lost their children? I am have been looking for those type of cards and there are none to be found.
Thinking about you on this Mother’s Day and I can’t begin to imagine the deep burden and hurt you must carry….((Hugs))
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I read you blog and it made me start to think….On my blog on mother’s day, I am doing a tribute to my mom and this will appear at the end of it:
_______________
“If you are lucky enough to be spending the day with a mom half as great as mine, then you are truly blessed. I love you, Mom! To those of you who are already mothers, you’ve been given a very special gift. I hope you know that you have been touched by God’s grace. To those birthmother’s who are spending the day wondering how the child you, unselfishly, put in the arms of another, is doing and wondering if you made the right decision….you did. God bless you. To those of you, like me, who are still waiting to be called mother, may God hear your prayers, on this very special day, and may this be the last non-mother’s day you have. God Bless.”
________________________
I haven’t forgotten you….I am adopting and having to place your child in the arms of another and potentially never see it again, must be devasting….Let me know if there is something I should change….I hope I worded it well. If you don’t want to post my comment I understand….
Thanks Birthmom….I owe you my motherhood!!!
God Bless
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Tracy; I published your comment but if other birth mothers happen upon it, be prepared for some backlash. Quiet honestly? It’s rather dismissive of our regret, our emotions and our wish that our child was with us. Furthermore, for a majority of my sisters from the previous relinquishing generation, it wasn’t a matter of a right or wrong decision; those mothers had no choice. For me, it means nothing to hear an adoptive mother tell me that I “made the right decision.” It will mean everything to hear my daughter tell me that she forgives me for my naievity, my lack of understanding and the consequences of my actions. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh but your comment feels just as offensive as the forward I came across just yesterday.
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I’m sorry.
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