Breakdown
Posted: May 10, 2008 at 11:07 am | Tags: Mother's DayDumb. I’m dumb.
I went to Hallmark to buy cards. I hadn’t gotten a chance to get out of the house all week because the boys were a bit, uhm, well, whiny. So, I walk into Hallmark. I pick up the obligatory grandmother and great-grandmother cards from the boys. I move over smidge, pick up some cards…
AND START CRYING. RIGHT THERE. IN HALLMARK.
For the record? Our Hallmark had Someone Special, Friend, Godmother, Like a Mother and just about every other mother variation. You know. Except me. Not that I want a card that SAYS birth mother. But I just wanted a small bit of validation. None available.
But yeah. I cried. In Hallmark. And not exactly discretely either. I tried. But failed. Tears. A bit of snot. Eye makeup running. It was classy. Sexy even. But the opposite.
Next year I’m sending the Husband for cards. Mental note. Right?
The Discussion
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(((((Jenna)))))
This is no failure, honey, you need to be able to let your true feelings show.
Margie’s last blog post..Rain!
Margie’s right, Jenna. More *hugs*, honey.
Judy’s last blog post..a very bad weekend . . .
Jenna~ do not feel bad–I have burst into tears in the Hallmark store myself. And, I did search the shelves for a birthmom’s day card for our family’s birthmom and didn’t find any. I ended up making one–which turned out way better than any store bought one would have been anyway. I have already said some very special prayers for every parent who has relinquished a child and hope that you can feel honored and blessed–if only for a moment. I am acknowledging that you are a very special mom who deserves to feel honored and blessed. Thank you for your posts–they do help me to understand the true depth of the feelings our birthmom may be experiencing. She came over today and I am so happy that I am able to acknowledge her as Jakob’s mom too. We validate each other, I guess–and I feel very blessed–I hope she does too!!
Invisible people don’t need cards, right? Right? ‘Cause we don’t exist. We’re not moms, and we don’t need cards. I’m sorry this is sucking so much for you. I understand.
I had a similar experience in the Hallmark earlier this week. And as I left feeling sad and forgotten I got mad at myself because I also wouldn’t want a card that said “birthmother”
I hope you have a Happy Mothers Day.
Katja’s last blog post..Not what I’d planned
I was also in Hallmark and bought the ONE AND ONLY ‘Birthmother’s Day’ card they had. And, truely? It’s awful. I’ve been contemplating writing a post about it in my journal to quote what it says.
I realize you wanted to be recognized, but for all it’s worth – Hallmark can kiss my ass when it comes to how they ‘word’ their ‘birthmother’ card. It’s gross.
K from Kssippi’s last blog post..I Reject your “(Birth)Mother’s Day” Reality and Substitue My Own
K; Thanks for letting me know that the wording is awful. It’s probably BETTER that I didn’t see it then… and I feel a little less general “ick” about it!
Hallmark is evil (but I still want to work for them).
Standing there looking at all those cards is torture. When it comes to “adoption” there is never anything even remotely appropriate. Sigh.
mia’s last blog post..Family Advocates
(((((HUGS)))))
It’s not a failure to cry in a card store, sweetie. Card stores are the SUCK for setting off landmines of simmering emotion.
I hope you had a decent Sunday. I thought about you often yesterday.
Coco’s last blog post..It’s Just Another Freaking Sunday, For Crying Out Loud
My daughter’s mom gave me a card that says “There are two kinds of families, the ones we are born to and the ones we create.” I was amazed at how appropriate it is. She’s also gotten me cards that say “Ma mere” because I’m French.
There was a little company for a short time that sold cards designed for birthmothers. I don’t know whatever happened to it.
Poor_Statue’s last blog post..Update