A birth mother friend of mine from the Baby Scoop Era was recently verbally assaulted via e-mail. She shared the contents with me and I was absolutely flabbergasted. She was cussed at and insulted. There was no respectful tone, no wish for understand dialogue. All of this, mind you, was delivered unprompted. Just a fabulous random attack from someone on the internet hiding behind the guise of anonymity.

The best part? Once she finally let my friend know her true identity, it turns out that this woman, who said horribly awful things about birth mothers and young parents in general, apparently runs an adoption agency and counsels young pregnant mothers.

Every time I hear of something happening like this, I think back to my “counselors” at the agency through which I placed. I was initially shocked that they had such little care for me but… every time something like this happens, I am just further made aware that the majority of those working to help place babies have little respect for the mothers who are possibly relinquishing.

It breaks my heart. While I know I’ll never get an apology from my agency, I wonder sometimes if they have any guilt at all. Did they care that they lied to me? Why did they pretend that they didn’t know open adoptions weren’t legally binding in my state? Was it to cover their own rear ends or to make me hopefully not be angry with them so I wouldn’t speak out? Or are they so used to giving half-truths and blatant lies to expectant mothers that they don’t even notice or care anymore? Are they that jaded?

I don’t know the answers. But I think it stinks that people like these are causing people like me, generally positive people, to lose faith in humanity in general. What happened to respect for another and their journey? What happened to wanting to learn from another’s experience, even if your opinion differs? What about the internet gives people big, strong finger muscles that lets them type things they would (hopefully) never say to someone’s face?