The Munchkin is heading back to preschool in September. You may remember last year when I bought her a special necklace and was rather emotional on her very first ever day of school. I feel less emotional this year. In fact, I’m rather busy preparing for my oldest son’s first day of preschool. The emotional aspects of that fact haven’t yet hit me. I suppose they will when I drop him off that first official day. Where has the time gone?

I asked her Mom yesterday about the time of her first day so I could send a card and something small. And then I started thinking about what that something small would be. And I realized that sometimes I don’t like being the birth mom. I find it hard to wrap my mind around what she wants and likes and needs when I am so far removed. Also, perhaps because I am now parenting boys, I just have a hard time even looking at gifts for girls.

I get overwhelmed at Easter and Christmas when all the froofy dresses are out for display and purchase. I cannot walk down the Barbie aisle. The pink overwhelms me and sends me into some catatonic state of unfeeling for the rest of the day. Girl stuff seems so foreign to me. Which is strange, as I am female and actually like pink things (though my favorite color has changed to green). I am not opposed to the idea of dolls and girly things. But, especially when I am shopping specifically for the Munchkin, I get extremely overwhelmed.

Perhaps I just expect to be able to know her better. To just instinctively know what she would like. To be able to know what size she would need, as sizes differ from brand to brand, by holding up a shirt and guesstimating her size. I can’t do those things. I don’t have that close, intimate relationship that she has with her Mom. I live on the outside. And most days that is okay as I am still allowed into the fold. But when it comes to buying gifts, I find myself frustrated. I want to know my daughter better. I want to know what she likes and eyeball her size and just better relate to her.

All the same, I haven’t yet found a good Back To (Pre)School present for her yet. And I’m still looking. Ideas?