Congratulations Are in Order (After a Rant)

And so, she’s pregnant. I’m brokenhearted for Bristol Palin. Straight up brokenhearted. Perhaps even more so than if the rumors alleging that she was actully her brother’s biological mother had been true. Because this whole debacle is going to get way out of hand.

When I experienced my unplanned pregnancy, I just had to deal with the scrutiny of family and friends. Some were supportive. Others were not. And I was twenty-two. I was not seventeen. I was not the daughter of the candidate for Vice President of the United States of America. And while my name has been in national newspapers describing my experience with an unplanned pregnancy and as a birth mother (for which I received some nasty and untrue judgments), I did not have to suffer through even an iota of the judgment that is about to be hoisted at this young woman and mother-to-be.

I silently questioned Sarah Palin’s decision to run for Vice President while her youngest child is still (reportedly) nursing and under one year of age. (I would have questioned it whether he was nursing or not but reports are that he is still nursing.) I then read that she currently takes him to work with her and figured, well, it’s not that hard to tote a breastfeeding baby around. No need for bottles. No need for formula. Just a breast. I figured she knew what she was doing and I wished her well (but kept my lack of desire to vote for her).

Now? I’m not so sure she knows what she is doing.

I can support a working mother trying to make a decision as to what is best with a child under a year. It’s a hard decision. If she can handle it, kudos to her. But regarding Bristol’s pregnancy? No, I’m not so sure she knows what she is doing. It is my assumption that she (Sarah) has not experienced an unplanned pregnancy. She has no idea that judgment that is about to be passed on her daughter. Furthermore, she has no idea because her ideology praises the mother that chooses to carry her child to term. (Which is nothing to be ashamed of, mind you. That’s not what I’m saying.) She is turning a blind eye to the fact that we are not a nation greatly changed from the days of the Baby Scoop Era. There are still people who are going to point fingers and call Bristol derogatory names (neglecting to mention the father who had equal part in creating this new life). There are still people who are going to point fingers and tell her that, no matter what, she will never be an appropriate enough mother to her child because she was “irresponsible” enough to “spread her legs” in the first place. There are still people who are going to say that no young mother can do a good job with a child, even married. The judgments will be passed. Unkind words will be said. I heard them all.

But Bristol has it a million times worse than I did. Because her mother is running for Vice President. And she can’t escape the limelight because of her Mother’s decision.

It wasn’t as if Bristol told her Mom yesterday evening that she was pregnant. She is reportedly five months pregnant. McCain knew of the pregnancy ahead of announcement and, as such, that means that Sarah Palin also knew of the pregnancy. Bristol’s mother chose to run anyway. Ignoring the negativity that her daughter would experience during a time when expectant mothers don’t really need extra stress (you know, while pregnant). Her mother chose to run despite the judgment that would be passed and the words that would be used. Her mother chose to run. Bristol did not. Her mother did. And Bristol will reap the consequences of that decision.

And my cynical mind can’t help but jump to the conclusion that Sarah Palin did it because of the judgment that would be passed and the words that would be used.

Bristol Palin is now the perfect pawn for McCain and Palin. She is the shining example for all things pro-life. If the daughter of the Vice Presidential candidate can survive an unplanned pregnancy, all of the judgment and negativity, get married and bring a child into this world… THEN SO CAN YOU! She’s now the poster child. Did she want to be the poster child? Does she know that she’s being used for her mother’s political gain? I am hoping upon hope that this wasn’t thet thought process or actual discussion between Palin and McCain. But knowing McCain’s (and his wife’s) history with unethical adoption, I can’t help but assume that he’d be unethical when it comes to anything related to unplanned pregnancy.

My heart is broken for Bristol. I have nothing but well wishes for that young mother. I actually am proud of her decision to not only carry the baby but parent the child. (I’m not taking it to the point that others will and suggest that her mother made the decision for her. Remember adoption statistics show that teens are less likely to place and more likely to parent. Keep that in mind.) I hope she is able to get out of the spotlight. I hope that she is able to get some relaxation in before this election (which is, you know, timed nicely with the arrival of her child). I hope that she is able to focus on her upcoming marriage to the baby’s father and that the two of them are able to stick through this unnecessarily dramatic upcoming phase of their lives. I hope that someone, somewhere sends this woman a card that says, “CONGRATULATIONS.” Because, no matter the hype or the reasons or the politics or the drama… becoming a mother is something to celebrate. I hope that someone in her life is celebrating with her.

I’ll do it from over here. But I don’t know if that will be enough.