I wrote about my thoughts on the premiere of 90210 over on the birth parent blog. But it’s still bugging me. Andy wrote about it on her blog as well. And she sums up my feelings quite well:
I realize that TV shows are written to the level of the lowest common denominator, and that they are written to be sensational so that they sell. This is not a documentary on ethical adoption, it is a Prime time drama. But just once I wish that there could be a positive open adoption story put out there for people to see.
Right? She’s smart. I like her. And she’s right. Television shows, even supposedly non-fiction ones (that all have story boards and “scripts”, mind you), are written for that schmuck who won’t get off the couch and do anything about his world. He just sits there. Watching the pretty screen flash things at him.
Do I think open adoption will ever be accurately and/or positively portrayed on a television show? Heck no, I don’t. Why? An open adoption in which parents are respectful of one another and we find things actually working is straight up boring. Do you really want to watch a television show that boring? As an example, I’ll just use our family.
Scene #1: I sit at the computer, laughing. Zoom in on instant message screen. D and I discuss America’s Next Top Model, the weather and workout shoes. This goes on for two hours as we’re both reading blogs, working and doing laundry at the same time. Fade to black.
Scene #2: I cuss at the printer because a photo I’m printing for the Munchkin’s monthly package jams. Eventually I get everything right, seal the envelope and go to the Post Office. I get a coffee on the way home. Fade to black.
Scene #3: My oldest son prays for his sister before he goes to bed. Fade to black.
I mean, sure, it’s heartwarming in a way. But not really interesting, right? Sigh. Instead, we need murderers! And drugs! And baby stealing! And drama drama drama!
It’s frustrating. I know we’re boring. But we’re real. Doesn’t anyone care?
I wish boring got more press/attention. It’s ordinary life for you all, but an extraordinary thing at the same time. I really appreciate what you share with us here.
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you’re right we are boring. Thats why we don’t need an entire tv show about us. We need a tv character who is a normal functioning person who also happens to be a first mom. the show doesn’t need to center around adoption but every once in awhile it should show her struggle with adoption issues. Every once in awhile it should show her on visits or recieving pictures or telling a friend or family member a story about her placed child. it should show relationship she has with her childs other parents is a relationship like any other and it takes communication and work to maintain..what am i talking about none of that will ever be shown on tv
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