Mysterious Works
Posted: October 30, 2008 at 12:55 amI didn’t want to go to Bible Study tonight. I really didn’t and, to be honest, I almost didn’t go. I drove to Sheetz first to get myself some coffee. (Gas was $2.29!) I was going to just drive straight home when I left Sheetz. I really was. I didn’t want to listen to the political banter. I didn’t want to deal with a few people who drive me slightly insane. I have had a very full week (and it is only Wednesday) and I just wanted some silent me time. With coffee.
But I got that nagging feeling. That I should go. Despite being six days from the election and the fact that I would likely have to bite my tongue. Off. So, I drove to the church. I parked. I went in. I sat. I talked with the friends I have made over the past three years. And the Bible Study started.
Somehow, in talking about Romans 12 and loving people, someone brought up a young lady (age deleted on purpose but go with young) who is now pregnant with her third child. The fact was mentioned with the usual judgment reserved especially for young, unwed mothers. A voice laced with disgust. I was about to shut down emotionally when the man leading our Bible Study (not Pastor D this week) began to tell a story.
Long story short: his wife? Is a birth mother.
This is a woman who I have gone to church with for almost three years. This is a woman whom was mentioned to me in my first month or so in the church as she has a similar kidney disorder. This is a woman whom I have spent time with in various church related activities, held conversations with regarding parenting and regarded as a pretty awesome woman in general.
And she’s a birth mother.
This? Is the first birth mother I have met in my area. By chance. I mean, sure, I’ve met Brenda, Breanna, Leah and others face-to-face. But this is the first time that I have learned that someone in my everyday real life shares this lifestory similarity. I shed a few tears while pretending to read my Bible.
Afterward, I approached the man, the birth mother’s husband, and told him that I, too, was a birth mother. He shared that his wife was just becoming comfortable with sharing her story with others and/or letting him share her story. He thanked me for letting him know.
And then I left. On some strange cloud 9.
I am not alone. In my own city.
Who knew?
The Discussion
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Sounds like just what you needed. Powerful on so many levels. I’m sure the two of you have much to offer each other even perhaps just in the knowing.
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I’m so glad you went and had that experience.
I think of you often while navigating the tricky pre-adoption waters with our agency and the expectant mother we’re matched with. Your blog is the first thing that I EVER read from a birth parent perspective, and it led me down a much different path with a lot more knowledge than I otherwise might have had. I thank you for that.
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THAT rocks! See? He works in mysterious ways for sure. Sometime you need to be where you need to be to be open to information that was meant for you. And it was. Cool. I’m psyched for you. As much as you might need to have her in your everyday life, she might need you. {{{Hugs}}}
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Sounds like you were “meant to be” there last night.
I hope that you and she will be able to support each other.
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See, God does know what He’s doing! I’m glad you listened to that nagging within your soul :-)
It sounds like the two of you have a lot of similarities and can offer many things to each other. I hope God continues to work in both of your lives, healing together.
P.S. I love the new blog look!
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For Kendra-
I hope that you do a LOT more reading of blogs of first mothers before you take the child of another as your “own”. And of adoptees. And please read some books, such as Nancy Verrier’s “Primal Wound”.
I can’t wait for the day when the US does what Australia did, and realizes that mother/child separation because of economic reasons is an atrocity and should be avoided. Natural mothers (even terrified, unsure, alone, young mothers) need to realize that they alone are the PERFECT mothers for their child; not another who “seems” better because they are married (for now) and have more money.
Why not adopt from foster care, a child who truly needs a family? My son longed to meet me his whole life and found me when he was 19. He tells me he is so glad the the part of his life without me is over, and that I am his Mom. There is a reason we are still connected, even with years apart from each other. It is nature; God does not put babies “in the wrong tummy”. People want to believe that God has a hand in adoption because to think otherwise would make them out as “covetors” of the worst kind…….even Moses went back to his people.
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What an incredible feeling I’m sure. I have been through some tough spots in my life and when I have found out I wasn’t “alone” I felt I could breathe a little sigh of relief. It’s like you can look at the person who opened up to you and think, “they really get it!”
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I’m so happy for you! I wish I knew of birthmothers here in Muncie – but so far I’ve not been so blessed. I look forward to hearing more!
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