I’m stretched too thin. I’m over-committed. And I’m exhausted. Emotionally I am overwhelmed and need to find an outlet for properly dealing with those emotions. And, no, they’re not even all bad emotions! In fact, those joyous ones are so big and equally overwhelming that I just don’t have room for every emotion I’m feeling right now.

My life is so full. I have an upcoming concert. I’m singing a solo on Christmas Eve at church again. I’m working every Sunday and Wednesday in our church nursery. I’m writing and writing and writing. I’m giving away lots of stuff. I’m shopping. I’m wrapping (and I hate wrapping). I’m getting presents out on time. I’m planning for my youngest’s party tomorrow. I’ll be taking both boys with me to pick up a HUGE cake. By myself. I’m doing all of this. And more. I’m going going going. I can’t stop.

And then there are the emotions.

My boys are so amazing. But growing too quickly. And the Munchkin is equally amazing. And my anniversary is coming up. And her birthday. And Christmas. And there are issues within my nuclear family (my parents) and extended family (others) that are too big for me to even comprehend. And there’s the loss of my grandfather weighing on me as we near the holidays. And other losses. And friends dealing with loss. And I don’t have time to stop and say how I feel for sure because it changes so quickly.

How are we a day and a half away from December? Where has this year gone? What will next year bring? Will I have time to slow down a little bit? Will I get a little time for myself? Will life always be this fast-paced? Do I need to move to a quiet island? Or would I be like this even then? Is this just me? Or is this version of me a product of a fast-paced life dictated by society?

I don’t know. But I took my first nap in months and months yesterday. And, gosh, it felt good to slow down and rest for an hour. Maybe I just need more naps.