2009 January » The Chronicles of Munchkin Land

I Need Your Help

Jan 272009

I talked late last year about finding a family/mother to give our baby gear to; someone who legitimately had a need. I did find a person for all of the big stuff. I won’t divulge her story as she’s a private person but she (and her family) are great people who faced a hard issue. They are now happily expecting another child this coming summer. They received almost all of our maternity clothes, all disposable diapers that were gifted to us that we did not use, our stroller/infant car seat combo, extra car seat, Bumbo, bouncy seat and Exersaucer. It felt good to pay it forward.

But I’ve been wanting to stay involved in that way. In fact, I’ve needed to stay involved. Perhaps need is too strong of a word but, if you know me, you might understand. Giving back is just what I do. I remember not having the “stuff” to parent and feeling very overwhelmed. I don’t like knowing that other mothers and fathers face that as well. As such, I’ve wanted to do something to continue to help families. But what?

A new resource in our area has started. Big Hearts, Little Hands is the name and helping young families is the game. While there is no abortion information given through this center, there is also no adoption information. It exists strictly to pass the “stuff” of parenting on to families who are in need of such things in the hopes of helping young families get on their feet. It’s something that I stand by 100%. And I’m wanting to help.

I’m rounding up donations to take to the center on February 13th (2009, folks). While I plan on rounding up everything we have that falls into the proper categories and purchasing some other things, I thought maybe my readers have some stuff laying around or would like to donate some new stuff as well.

What’s needed?

Maternity clothes of all sizes.

Diapers, size newborn and 1.

Sleepers and onesies, size 0-3 months.

Bibs.

Receiving blankets.

Baby wash.

Wipes.

I know that our family has a billion and one bibs, onesies, sleepers and blankets. Does yours? Would you be interested in purchasing a blanket or a package of diapers? I will be asking our church and posting an ad for those interested in some local networks. But I couldn’t NOT ask blog readers here. I know so many of you have similar passions.

Anyway, if you are interested in getting something to me by Monday, February 9th (I MUST have it in hand by then as I’m delivering on Wednesday, February 11th), please contact me at jenna.hatfield@gmail.com with DONATIONS (in all caps, please) so I can flag them properly. I will actually be Vlogging the whole process for Mom It Forward so you will be able to see your donation enter the hands of Big Hearts, Little Hands. Also, if you have some ideas on how to get more donations rounded up (are you a company that would like to make a donation?), please let me know.

I’m actually hoping to make this donation “drive” a twice yearly thing; now and again in early fall. I’ve been waiting for something like this to come along in our specific area for quite some time. If you’ve been a long time reader, you’ve seen me talk about such a thing. The closest center like this was a 30 minute drive and had some questionable funding. While I did forward things we didn’t need or use (formula samples, as an example), it just never felt “right.” While this particular program is based through a church building, “funding” is based solely on donations like what I am trying to do right now. The fact that there is no unethical adoption propaganda involved makes me confident that this is the right way for me to contribute right now. If you’d like to help, please do. You could help make that difference.

You really could Mom it Forward with me.

Musings on a Visit

Adoption, in General, Open Adoption, Visits 27 Responses »

Jan 272009

In the last ten miles before arriving at the mountain house, my stomach began to turn. Flipping and flopping, I tried to figure out what I was feeling. Obviously, some of my anxiety was rearing its head but I couldn’t pin-point the general feeling of unrest. It wasn’t dread but there was some fear involved. Obviously excitement played into it as well. Soon we arrived. After the car was unpacked, the boys were put in jammies and put down in bed for the night, D informed me that the Munchkin wanted me to go in and kiss her head when we got there.

I opened her door, tip-toed to the bed and felt a year and a half of worry lift from my shoulders.

There she was, before my very own eyes. Sleeping and peaceful, her hair spread all over her pillow. I sat next to her, quietly, as mothers do, and just stared… as mothers do. In those few quiet moments, I knew what I had been feeling. I had feared that she wouldn’t remember me. That she wouldn’t want to spend time with me. But, even more so, I had feared that in the past year and a half I had somehow lost the ability to be her birth mother. That the feeling and knowledge had left, that I wouldn’t feel the same when I saw her.

If you’re not a birth mother, those last few sentences might not make sense. What do I mean when I say “how to be a birth mother” exactly? There is no exactly as I’m 100% sure it varies from birth mother to birth mother. For me, it involves a feeling of all-encompassing love mixed with pride. It is a feeling of awe that something/someone I have missed for however long we have been apart, someone I have grieved the lack of presence is suddenly right back in front of me. It’s also a feeling of pride within myself. Not for relinquishing or “doing the right thing” or any of that. No. A feeling of pride that I have continued to put in the leg work that allows me to sit on the side of her bed and listen to her steady, sleepy breathing. It’s not easy, that leg work. But the reward? Nothing can replace it.

I sat there, watching her sleep, just for a few minutes. I didn’t want to wake her brother (JD) sleeping just feet from her. As I watched, a feeling of peace came over my soul. No, it didn’t remove the grief that I have that she isn’t in our daily life. That peace doesn’t remove the fact that, sitting here today hundreds of miles apart, yes, I still miss her. But a peace with what “is.”

That peace was further confirmed by ineractions over the weekend. Not just with her but with D, her Mom. Conversations between the lot of us. Laughter by all of us. Time spent watching, time spent playing. When it comes down to it, I have peace with the relationship, the existence of adoption in our lives. Do I still wish she was here right now, asking me questions? Well, sure. What person who is missing someone doesn’t wish for such a thing? But do I know that she is okay? Do I know that she is thriving? Do I know that she is loved by all in her life? Do I know that she will be okay and, as such, in the end, I will be okay? Yes. Yes I do.

I’ll be writing some more about some of my issues, sharing some little stories and some pictures over the next week (or two)… or three. But for now, I leave you with this. It is my new favorite picture of the two of us together. This was taken after a “face off” in which we made funny faces together for the camera and before she told me, “I was born from your belly.”

I? AM the luckiest.