I came across a random quote in the most random of places (being Twitter, of course, which is always good for randomness):
“It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others”
– John Kirinrich
It really caused me to pause. And think. And think some more. You know, as I tend to overanalyze things.
I’ve been wondering as of late what my purpose is; why am I here and what am I doing while I am here? Obviously, I am raising two boys to understand and respect women. I do understand that as a purpose in my life. To raise them to be respectful, well-rounded, capable adults.
But what about outside of motherhood. What is my purpose? What am I doing? What is it that I am doing for others? I believe that helping and serving others should always be at the forefront of any purpose. Otherwise, it feels sort of empty. For me, at least.
I’ve been really brain-storming the book everyone says that I should write. I’ve been trying to grasp at the straws of what I want to share with the world. Ideas have been crumpled and tossed into the recycling bin of my mind. The recycling bin of my computer. The recycling bin in my house. Nothing seems to be sitting right with me. I haven’t been able to put my finger on the pulse of why I’m unable to settle into an idea, into a theme. Into anything, really.
Is it because I’ve been trying to put myself first? What I want to write and what it says about me over what I should write and what it will say to others? I don’t know. I’m writing aloud again, obviously.
Is my story simply one of caution? Is my existence simply so that others know that something is wrong when we’re telling young but capable women that they shouldn’t be parenting? Then treating them as nothing more than a commodity, tossing them aside when we are done with them? (Referring not to my daughter’s adoptive parents but to both the specific unethical adoption “agency” that treated me so poorly and to the concept of adoption as held by society today. Thought I should clarify!) Is my story a warning to those at risk for an experience like mine? Is my story a warning to society that reform is desperately needed within the adoption world? Is my story a warning to unethical agencies and attorneys that we’re done with keeping silent?
Is my story a warning as to how interrupting motherhood changes absolutely everything about a woman?
Oh. Well. Maybe there it is…
My name is Jenna. I blog here, 
Your story is an inspiration to women everywhere trying to find themselves, make sense of their histories, discover their futures and raise strong, happy & loving kids.
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Exactly
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“Interrupting motherhood changes absolutely everything about a woman.”
Now there’s your subhead.
Go get ‘em girl.
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Your story will be of what you decide to make of it. All your ideas would be a good book. So maybe you can write more than one.
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“Is my story a warning as to how interrupting motherhood changes absolutely everything about a woman?”
For me, that one sentence says it all.
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Motherhood, period, changes absolutely everything about a woman. Every mother I know reinforces that message to me daily, regardless of whether she’s raising her child/ren herself or not.
Can’t speak to the “warning” part of your post, but that thought struck me hard as I read it.
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Your story is also about advocating for change, giving other women a voice and connecting with all the people who read your words. Your story is about your personal growth and journey that shaped you into a person who can do all of that.
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Twitter: firemom
says:
Lula; That’s something I can agree with: motherhood, in any shape or form, does change everything. BUT: the agencies/attorneys/society are/is busy telling expectant mothers considering placement that their lives will “go back to normal” and that they can proceed with their life’s goals and dreams without issue. They’re not told that the process of carrying, birthing and subsequently relinquishing a child often changes those dreams and goals and, more often than not, changes the person who had those dreams and goals.
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