I haven’t written about unethical agency practices and how they make my blood boil for quite some time. The process of focusing on myself and my own healing necessitated a step back from the constant aggravation that the adoption industry provides when it comes to “birthmother” “marketing” and other awful ways to refer to getting an expectant mother to place her child for adoption.
Don’t misread that statement. Placing a child for adoption is not the awful part. (Though the emotional reprecussions of such an action could be defined as such which is why better pre- and post-placement counseling are needed for those who do eventually decide to relinquish.) The way that agencies continue to act in subtly coercive ways and get away with it is what I’m classifying as awful.
Heather has two posts that really show what’s going on. It seems like I’m not the only one who is being sought out on places like MySpace and, sadly, the agency that did so is not the only one doing it. Apparently this is now an accepted form of marketing for agencies. Which, of course, it raises my hackles anytime these agencies use the word “marketing” when referring to real live human beings.
My favorite line from the agency’s response:
Our advertising is completely focused on increasing the number of pregnant women who call us.
I wonder, then, if this agency would be like that other one that contacted me on MySpace when I was pregnant with my youngest son. If you’re solely committed to the bottom line, then why would you care if you offend some over-emotional pregnant woman? Why would you care if you’re subtly coercing mothers into placing their children? Why would you care if someone accused you of unethical practices?
I don’t know when we’re going to see a change in how agencies deal with or are allowed to deal with expectant mothers and fathers. I don’t know how to make these agencies stand up and recognize that they’re doing so much more harm than good in so many cases. I don’t know how to make those who say, “But if one child who really needs a home falls through the cracks due to the changes you are suggesting, it’s all a loss,” realize that there are ethical ways to make sure children have the homes and the love that they need and deserve. Why do we have to go about assuring children such things in such an unethical manner? Why aren’t more people concerned with ethics? Why are we such a selfish nation? A selfish world?
Normally, after writing a post like this, my blood pressure would be up and my vision would shake. It’s amazing what a year of healing will do for you. That said, I’m still greatly displeased with the state of things. In my January-mind’s-eye (the one with the clean slate, you see), I have all of this hope that 2009 will bring great changes on this front. But then the realist part of my head steps in and I know that not enough ground work has been laid for anything of that nature to take place just yet.
Perhaps we need to start laying the ground work now.
Yeah… marketing is based on the bottom line. You don’t put money into something that you don’t expect to get money out of.
It’s just a start to how far an agency is willing to go. What about soliciting women in the hospital room, and “counseling” and not leaving till she signs the papers. Adoption agencies should not be counseling pregnant women. Period.
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I don;t know if you saw what I considered my brillaint brain fart on this, but… I do beleive that affecting Adoption Agencies Reputations in their pocketbook and bottom line marketing campaigns online might be a way to get them to at least realize that not only are have we had ENOUGH of what they do, but we are going to hurt them for it.
Or I could be dreaming too big again, but that’s what I do.
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I work for an adoption agency, and I feel disheartened reading these posts b/c I don’t want anyone to make an adoption plan unless they feel this is the right path for them. I really want a connection with the people I work with to help them with their decision-making, and I a happy for them when they are happy about parenting. This makes me feel like there is nothing I can do as an agency counselor that is actually positive for adoption, for children, for expectant parents. Any suggestions for me in the changes I can make?
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Twitter: firemom
says:
I find it amusing, Jen, that you even bothered to comment on this post. Your “blog” is coercive in nature as you continue to refer to expectant parents considering placement as birthmothers/birth parents. You are actually part of the problem; not the solution.
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They figure they’re doing a great community service. I just published a blog post with the insane stuff that the “professionals” have published, about working to increase the number of babies surrendered. And many of these were studies funded by the U.S. government.
http://cedartrees.wordpress.com/2009/01/16/adoption-lets-get-more-babies-to-market/
So, they figure that they’re doing you a favour if they relieve you of your baby.
As for the agency worker (baby broker), Jen, who posted above: Do your wages get paid from proceeds paid by the customers who obtain (buy) babies from your business? Most likely as I doubt you let your clients adopt for free. Thus you are in conflict of interest in counselling any expectant parent — you are financially motivated to ensure a certain minimum number will surrender each year. Your paycheque depends on it.
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