Comments on: Encouragement For Me, For You http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2009/08/11/encouragement-for-me-for-you/ Writing Our Ever-Evolving Story Sat, 19 May 2012 16:21:24 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Crisy http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2009/08/11/encouragement-for-me-for-you/comment-page-1/#comment-4330 Crisy Fri, 21 Aug 2009 02:25:50 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/?p=825#comment-4330 I feel the same as you. I like the fact that lives could be changed, because of my experience. I feel the same as you. I like the fact that lives could be changed, because of my experience.

Like this comment: Thumb up 0

]]> By: Diana http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2009/08/11/encouragement-for-me-for-you/comment-page-1/#comment-4325 Diana Thu, 13 Aug 2009 14:52:27 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/?p=825#comment-4325 I'm neither adoptee, adoptive parent, prospective adoptive parent, or natural parent. But I have many friends who are adoptees and adoptive parents, and right now I am interested in adoption "issues", especially from an academic and policy perspective (I know, kind of heavy). I read your and other first mother blogs regularly. They have opened my eyes to a whole dimension of adoption that is hardly considered, especially where I live (in a developing country in the Caribbean). In fact right now in my country they are reviewing the adoption legislation. I had a conversation the other day with a very influential person who is on the task force conducting that review and it was clear from that conversation that they hadn't even CONSIDERED the natural mother AT ALL in their deliberations. I then went on to make what I hope were a few salient points, and she asked me to write a short brief for her containing those points. There is a lot of bias against first mothers here in my country, mainly due to class prejudices, and also because of simple lack of knowledge of anything to do with first parent issues, mainly because noone has ever stopped or thought to consider them. I intend to pursue this matter as far as I possibly can, because I cannot imagine that they would do an entire overhaul of the legislation and not consider this aspect of the so-called adoption triad. So... I know this is totally out of left field, you probably didn't expect ANYTHING like this regarding how your blog has influenced people, but since you made this post (and the following one, about peace) I wanted to share with you that your blog has reached very very far, including outside of the United States, and could have very very far-reaching effects on worlds you probably have never even thought about. I’m neither adoptee, adoptive parent, prospective adoptive parent, or natural parent. But I have many friends who are adoptees and adoptive parents, and right now I am interested in adoption “issues”, especially from an academic and policy perspective (I know, kind of heavy). I read your and other first mother blogs regularly. They have opened my eyes to a whole dimension of adoption that is hardly considered, especially where I live (in a developing country in the Caribbean). In fact right now in my country they are reviewing the adoption legislation. I had a conversation the other day with a very influential person who is on the task force conducting that review and it was clear from that conversation that they hadn’t even CONSIDERED the natural mother AT ALL in their deliberations. I then went on to make what I hope were a few salient points, and she asked me to write a short brief for her containing those points. There is a lot of bias against first mothers here in my country, mainly due to class prejudices, and also because of simple lack of knowledge of anything to do with first parent issues, mainly because noone has ever stopped or thought to consider them. I intend to pursue this matter as far as I possibly can, because I cannot imagine that they would do an entire overhaul of the legislation and not consider this aspect of the so-called adoption triad.
So… I know this is totally out of left field, you probably didn’t expect ANYTHING like this regarding how your blog has influenced people, but since you made this post (and the following one, about peace) I wanted to share with you that your blog has reached very very far, including outside of the United States, and could have very very far-reaching effects on worlds you probably have never even thought about.

Like this comment: Thumb up 0

]]> By: emilythehopeless http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2009/08/11/encouragement-for-me-for-you/comment-page-1/#comment-4322 emilythehopeless Tue, 11 Aug 2009 18:16:31 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/?p=825#comment-4322 i too am a prospective adoptive parent (we are saving money before starting the process) and yours was the first blog i had read from the other side of things. my thinking about adoption has been evolving constantly over the years we failed through infertility .. just like that emailer inferred, i too hadn't much thought about the birth mother.. and i see now how much i was missing. i understand so much more about the whole package of adoption. reading blogs like yours definitely will help me be a better partner in the adoption process. years ago, when all of this started in my life i was sure i'd want a closed adoption.. looking back i can't believe i felt that way. i see now how important the birth family is and how much i want to know them.. and for my child to know them. thank you for doing what you're doing. i too am a prospective adoptive parent (we are saving money before starting the process) and yours was the first blog i had read from the other side of things. my thinking about adoption has been evolving constantly over the years we failed through infertility .. just like that emailer inferred, i too hadn’t much thought about the birth mother.. and i see now how much i was missing. i understand so much more about the whole package of adoption. reading blogs like yours definitely will help me be a better partner in the adoption process. years ago, when all of this started in my life i was sure i’d want a closed adoption.. looking back i can’t believe i felt that way. i see now how important the birth family is and how much i want to know them.. and for my child to know them. thank you for doing what you’re doing.

Like this comment: Thumb up 0

]]> By: Yondalla http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2009/08/11/encouragement-for-me-for-you/comment-page-1/#comment-4321 Yondalla Tue, 11 Aug 2009 17:18:08 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/?p=825#comment-4321 When I cover abortion in my ethics class a significant portion of student claim that women choose abortion "should just give the baby to someone else." They see it as that easy. I've found that if I have them read ONE post by a first mother about the pain of losing a child they change their position. I was surprised how dramatic was. They have this picture of "the beautiful choice of adoption." It turns out that it is a fragile bubble which can be broke, but it takes the right perspective. I so very much appreciate your blog. When I cover abortion in my ethics class a significant portion of student claim that women choose abortion “should just give the baby to someone else.” They see it as that easy. I’ve found that if I have them read ONE post by a first mother about the pain of losing a child they change their position. I was surprised how dramatic was.

They have this picture of “the beautiful choice of adoption.” It turns out that it is a fragile bubble which can be broke, but it takes the right perspective.

I so very much appreciate your blog.

Like this comment: Thumb up 0

]]> By: Kendra http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/2009/08/11/encouragement-for-me-for-you/comment-page-1/#comment-4319 Kendra Tue, 11 Aug 2009 15:31:25 +0000 http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/?p=825#comment-4319 I'm glad you got that email. I think I have told you before that it has been very helpful for me, as a prospective adoptive parent, to read your blog. In fact, finding your blog when we were first contemplating adoption really broadened my perspective and made me approach things completely differently, with a huge hope for an open adoption. At the moment, I'm one year+ into "officially waiting" and we've been through two painful failed matches. Had I not initially found this blog and subsequent other blogs, I think I'd be extremely bitter right now. Ok, if I'm going to be truthful, I'm still a *little* bitter, because this has been a hard year, emotionally and financially, and I thought I'd be the new mom of a beautiful little girl in July -- but because of the time I've taken to read blogs and books, etc., for the last year and a half, I'm also able to compartmentalize MY hurt and truly wish the baby's mother all the best now that she has decided to parent. For MYSELF, of course I wish it had worked out differently and that I didn't have an empty nursery to look at every day, but I can say with 100% honesty that I believe children belong with their biological parents whenever that's possible, and if this young woman was both willing and able to parent, then I wouldn't want it any other way. The lingering concern I have in our recent situation is that the young woman's family refused to help her at all throughout the pregnancy. We supported her financially for several months, and then the family suddenly decided that they could help her if she parented. I'm worried that they're actually not going to follow-through and leave her right back where she was, without help. :( I’m glad you got that email. I think I have told you before that it has been very helpful for me, as a prospective adoptive parent, to read your blog. In fact, finding your blog when we were first contemplating adoption really broadened my perspective and made me approach things completely differently, with a huge hope for an open adoption. At the moment, I’m one year+ into “officially waiting” and we’ve been through two painful failed matches. Had I not initially found this blog and subsequent other blogs, I think I’d be extremely bitter right now. Ok, if I’m going to be truthful, I’m still a *little* bitter, because this has been a hard year, emotionally and financially, and I thought I’d be the new mom of a beautiful little girl in July — but because of the time I’ve taken to read blogs and books, etc., for the last year and a half, I’m also able to compartmentalize MY hurt and truly wish the baby’s mother all the best now that she has decided to parent. For MYSELF, of course I wish it had worked out differently and that I didn’t have an empty nursery to look at every day, but I can say with 100% honesty that I believe children belong with their biological parents whenever that’s possible, and if this young woman was both willing and able to parent, then I wouldn’t want it any other way. The lingering concern I have in our recent situation is that the young woman’s family refused to help her at all throughout the pregnancy. We supported her financially for several months, and then the family suddenly decided that they could help her if she parented. I’m worried that they’re actually not going to follow-through and leave her right back where she was, without help. :(

Like this comment: Thumb up 0

]]>