Moments and People

There are moments in our lives that shape who we are, who we will become. There are people in our lives who shape who we are, who we will become. Sometimes these two things, moments and people, cross and combine. People who have shaped our lives also are involved in moments that define who we are.

Nearly five years ago, FireDad and I got married in a beautifully decorated church in front of our families and our friends. Standing up with me on my side of the church were people who had already had a part in shaping my life. At the time, we thought we were very “cutting edge” as D, my daughter’s adoptive mother, donned a red bridesmaid dress and posed for wedding party photographs. Having her present on a day, in a moment that shaped my life seemed right. The adoption of my daughter had been such a driving force in my life and D’s presence in my life changed who I was, who I would become. It felt right to have her there. We laughed about how people were shocked that she would be in my wedding. It just felt right for us; a friendship formed over a moment that changed the both of our lives forever.

This weekend I drove her to her hair appointment. I made sure she ate a spoon of peanut butter as her blood sugar was crashing because she only ate Lucky Charms all day. I got her caffeinated to help with the headache. I helped set out the wine, busied the children while she attended to other things and generally helped out with a moment that would change her life. My daughter’s mom remarried in the most beautiful wedding ceremony I have ever been blessed to attend this past Saturday. Beautiful vows were exchanged, kisses were given and butterflies were released. Tears kept escaping from my eyes. They weren’t tears of sadness. They were tears of joy. I haven’t seen D so happy in years.

If you had told me on my own wedding day that I would, nearly five years later, help D out as her unofficial matron of honor on her wedding day, I would have laughed at you. We both would have laughed at you. No amount of foresight could have predicted any of this journey. And yet, there we were.

Five years ago I felt honored and blessed to have her by my side. Two days ago I felt honored and blessed to help out and watch her begin this new journey of her own. And, while I didn’t imagine it to be so, her wedding was also a defining moment in my own life journey. I didn’t exchange vows, of course, but I’m now part of a new family. Watching their love, their joy and their devotion to each other as a family filled my heart so full. I am excited for this part of our journey. And I am happy to be traveling it with someone I consider one of my very best friends.

Five years ago.

Two days ago.

Congrats, D & M. May you have a lifetime of love and laughter… because it’s so good to see you laugh again, D.