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Open Adoption Roundtable #12: 2010

The question:

Call them resolutions, commitments, changes, or choices–how will you be proactive in the area of open adoption in 2010?

As always, I have some things in mind that involve being proactive about promoting awareness and acceptance at the same time.

• Well, as Dawn said, we’re writing a book. So, there’s that.
• I’ve also been put in charge of the adoption group discussions at BlogHer for awhile in hopes of kick-starting the conversation. While this seems like nothing overly important or huge, I’d present the argument than Dawn uses whenever she’s defending me (thanks, Dawn). I’m talking about adoption on a mainstream site. People don’t go to BlogHer to research adoption. They hit the big adoption sites when they’re researching adoption, placement or other things. They go to BlogHer/etc for other reasons. If they learn something about adoption in the process, hooray! While the group itself will likely gather those specifically touched by adoption, the links sent out by the site will bring in others. This is a good thing, of course.
• Blogging both here, the family blog and, really, just about everywhere. Do you realize the power you have to make people think simply by posting something you’ve written about adoption on twitter? I’ve had people read things that they never would have otherwise read simply because I shared the link on twitter. Gosh, I love twitter.
• And, really, just mostly living the life that we live. I do have two blogs and some have accused me of doing so to filter my daughter out of my mainstream life. But I write about her on the family blog. I tweet links to this blog on my twitter account. I post pictures that aren’t filtered (other than not being public) on Facebook. If asked questions, even by new coworkers, I provide direct answers. I don’t remove pictures on my wall when people are coming. I just live my life. Part of who I am is a birth mother in open adoption. Others see that when they interact with me. And, really, that’s a good thing, too!

I don’t imagine that I’ll make the entire world realize that open adoption a) isn’t bad, b) isn’t great, c) needs reform, just by doing these things this year. Some people will refuse to listen because of their own beliefs and the existing stereotypes against birth parents. Some people will be unable to listen, deafened by their own agendas. Some people won’t know to listen, living blissfully unaware in their own ignorance. And some people won’t care, finding that these issues don’t affect their family or their own lives.

But I’ll keep on doing what I do because I can’t imagine not doing what I do. I’m hopeful that 2010 will bring great things in my own personal open adoption relationship as well as in the work that I continue to do. No, let me rephrase. I’m not hopeful. I’m confident.

And that’s a good thing.