Earlier this week, I tweeted a request for ethical adoption agencies in Western PA and Pittsburgh. Since then, I have had another come in for the other side of the state in Eastern PA and Philadelphia.
I thought I’d blog it to get a bigger response and have responses in an easy to find place. I also thought I’d do it to say that I think finding ethical adoption agencies is so vitally important. It warmed my heart when a family friend turned to me to ask for ethical adoption agency recommendations as soon as he learned a family member was considering adoption. If I can help — even in small ways like pointing people toward an agency that cares about families in all ways — that means something to me.
And so, requests:
- Ethical adoption agency in Western PA or Pittsburgh.
- Ethical adoption agency in Eastern PA or Philadelphia area.
- If you have experience with Adoptions from the Heart (Western PA) or A Baby Step (Philly).
- Warning stories from agencies in either area.
That last part? The warning stories? Please share. I mean, we all know to avoid Bethany like the plague. And we all know that national agencies, like the non-agency through which I placed (ANLC), are to be avoided as well. But we don’t know about those small agencies unless they’ve made news. We can check up on Adoption Agency Reviews, but not everyone out there utilizes the site. So if you’ve had a bad experience with an agency in those geographic areas, please let me know. Two families need your help right now, and that involves letting them know the good and the bad.
Edited to Add: BIRTH PARENTS, PLEASE REPLY. Ethical adoption includes birth parents. Adoptive parents cannot make fully informed decisions about agencies UNLESS BIRTH PARENTS SHARE THEIR EXPERIENCES. So, please, if you placed in Pittsburgh, Philly or around those areas, chime in.
As an aside, please don’t use the comment space to warn the people about the ethics of adoption itself. The people researching agencies have either already been through the process and are actively seeking a different agency/alternative and/or are intelligent people who are asking proper questions. Okay? Okay.
If you feel more comfortable contacting me via email or my contact form, please feel free. I will pass your information along to the proper party.
Note: Ethical agencies do not charge different (read: lower) amounts for non-white children.
Edited to Add: For more information on Adoptions from the Heart, read here.
Twitter: jakearyehmarcus
says:
It was thirteen years ago but I had a dreadful experience with Adoptions from the Heart in Ardmore (what was then the home office). No idea what it is like now.
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Hi there – my husband and I live in Pittsburgh and were in the process of adopting when we found ourselves pregnant. While our adoption plans are “on hold” for the moment, we did a LOT of research last year on agencies in the greater Pittsburgh area. We investigated Adoptions from the Heart, Bethany, Adoption Connection, Genesis, and The Children’s Home. The ONLY agency I would EVER recommend to someone looking for an ethical domestic adoption is The Children’s Home (http://www.childrenshomepgh.org/). We had terrible experiences with all the other agencies. Adoptions from the Heart held their orientation meeting in some lady’s dingy basement and charges different fees for different race children. We know several families that loved their experience with The Childrens Home, some even using them for subsequent adoptions after bad experiences with Bethany and Adoption Connection. We were in the process of finishing our application with them about this time last year. Their counseling team is amazing. Happy to talk more about them, but I will leave it at that for now!
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Twitter: bumberjoy
says:
Hi Hillary, tried to find a comment button on your blog, but couldn’t find one! Would really like to hear what you know about Bethany. We are on the other side of the state from Pitt. We went through them with our first adoption and didn’t really see anything outright unethical, but I do have some reservations about using them for another adoption. Any info would really help. my email is on my blog! Thanks so much!
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Amber I sent you a private email, let me know if you don’t get it!
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I have not been able to substantiate this but have been told Adoptions from the Heart is associated with/run by members of the Kurtz network of baby brokers. (Easter House, Birth Hope, etc.). Again, just hearsay but something I have long wanted to prove. If you do hear anything similar, I welcome the info.
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Twitter: firemom
says:
YIKES. I haven’t put in my own leg work on my research yet (this weekend turned into a not-so-great adventure in parenting), but I will let you know what I find out. Do you have any specific names other than Kurtz that I should be looking for when digging in?
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There is no connection with Adoptions From the Heart and the Kurtz network, Easter House or whoever. Our founder is the current Executive Director, Maxine Chalker, who is herself an adoptee.
It seems the upset and unhappy are always heard the loudest on the internet, the happy families that we have created are too busy. It seems the angry are always looking for an outlet. However, I am surprised that you allow this type of unsubstantiated rumor to sit on your website.
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Twitter: firemom
says:
I am only approving this so others can see how you decide to speak to “the upset and unhappy.” Awesome.
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Yet you keep the original comment up regarding accusations that are unfounded…brilliant.
The unhappy and upset are welcome to contact me directly with any complaints and I will listen and try my best to rectify the situation. Unfortunately not all situations are easily remedied. There will always be someone who is unhappy – but you are spreading rumors and unsubstantiated false accusations by posting them to your site.
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Twitter: firemom
says:
That’s the funny thing about the give and take in the comments of a blog. I don’t delete anything — unless it gets to a personal attack level regarding my family or my other commenters are being grieved by someone with a bone to pick.
YOU are welcome to contact the commenter in question — PERSONALLY — instead of being passive aggressive in my space. YOU are the one acting out of turn and rude at this point in the game. All you had to say was those rumors were unsubstantiated, give some information and be on your way. Instead, you took it upon yourself to call my blogging “ethics” into question and then poke in the wounds of those who come to this place as a sort of safe haven.
Who, exactly, is in the wrong here?
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I could have just said the rumors were untrue and went on my way you are correct. I apologize if you feel that my comments are “out of turn”
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Twitter: KatjaMichelle
says:
The original comment says that she is unable to substantiate it. In other words it says it’s a possibility. You then say its not so. End of story. The bigger issue is your conduct here.
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Twitter: KatjaMichelle
says:
Heidi,
Because the industry refuses to be transparent those of us who care about ethics must resort to figuring out for ourselves which agencies can be trusted and which cannot. Regardless of who founded yours and who it is or is not associated with the tone of your comment has convinced me yours is firmly in the cannot category.
Katjamichelle MSW
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Twitter: MonikaZimmerman
says:
Heidi,
I so agree with Katja. The original commenter said that the rumors were unsubstantiated. You took it to read that the reader had PROOF. If she’d had proof, she would’ve posted it. She didn’t. You got all sensitive about the whole thing and made it a huge issue. Sure, she said that she’d love to get proof, but just because she’s heard rumors of bad things coming from your agency doesn’t mean they’re true. Your overreaction in public on this blog simply adds to the negative feelings about your agency and does nothing to quell them.
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Yikes. An adoption professional that thinks adoption constellation members can be neatly divided into “happy” and “upset and unhappy”–and casually throws applies those labels to random people on the internet–isn’t really one I want to work with, that’s for sure.
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Twitter: KatjaMichelle
says:
And isn’t it interesting they always confuse real and honest for upset and unhappy… Telling isn’t it?
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I just couldn’t justify the use of an agency that charges different fees for different races of children. And having your info session in someone’s dark basement is just not professional.
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We considered ARC Adoptions because we needed a Hague agency. They weren’t for us in the end, but agencies that are Hague accredited do need to meet more stringent standards.
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I was wondering about things to look for as signs of an ethical agency, as well as red flags of an unethical one. Do you or your readers have suggestions? Do you know of anyone who may have compiled something like this (ie questions to ask)? Is this something you’d be willing to do a blog post about?
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Thanks for sharing your experiences and for being so candid about life in general. I am beginning to research and educate myself about the adoption process and had no idea there were so many unethical practices. I would be very interested to find out which agencies have been shown to prove themselves ethical in my state (Missouri), if and when you have compiled this information. What a difference you are making for all who are involved in the adoption process. Thank you!
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We went through Adoption Connection PA located in Beaver. We really liked working with them. We felt very comfortable using them again. We have an open adoption with our daughter’s birthmother and they are actively involved in that.
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I don’t know if you are still looking for feed back, if you are please let me know. I have a lot of experience with Adoptions from the Heart….sorry to say NOT good ones!
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Hi, my name is Pam and my husband and I recently had a baby girl placed with us through Adoptions From The Heart. Our experience with AFTH has been phenomenal from the application process, Home Study evaluation and approval, development of our profile to ‘getting in the book’ for BPs to view, and on and on. We were thrilled to be chosen by a birthmom a few short months after receiving our Home Study approval. One week after being selected, we were parents to a beautiful baby boy who we cared for and loved to pieces….then 28 days later the birthmom changed her mind. I cannot even begin to adequately express how much support the SWs at AFTH provided to us. They made us feel like we could get through this difficult situation, and helped us to look ahead as our journey to become parents was still on and they were still in our corner, on our team. With AFTH we knew we would become parents, we 100% trusted them to do their job. They are very passionate about what they do; they care about the BPs and adoptive parents both. Five months later we had a beautiful baby girl placed with us and we our now in the finalization process. Overall what stands out for us is not so much what they said or did through the process, it’s how they made us feel throughout the entire process. We couldn’t have had a better experience at another agency. I know that in my heart.
With best regards,
Pam
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Heidi Gonzalez – Feel free to direct your objections to me, as I am the one who shared that I had been told, but unable to confirm that AFTH had connections – now or in the past with the Kurtz network of baby brokers. Jenna asked if anyone had info on you and I shared what I had. I did not state it as fact. Rather as a lead I was trackign down. I have this information because I maintain information on the Kurtz Network. You state their is no connection and until someone can prove otherwise, they have to take your word for it, no? Not sure the vitriol directed at Jenna is warranted. Seems a bit over the top … particularly if there is no connection.
As for confirmed connections, information on AFTH, I recommend Jenna or others consider viewing PPL page on AFTH. PPL keeps an amazing amount of information.
Adoptions from the Heart on PPL
You can also find information on Kurtz, Easter House, Adoption World, Casa del Sur, Birth Hope there. Additional detail on the Kurtz network can be found here About the Kurtz Network of Baby Brokers
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We had an amazing experience with AFTH. Everyone we worked with in 3 different offices were so professional, and the level of communication exceeded my expectations. We have known quite a few people who have adopted, and every family said that their experience with AFTH was the best agency to work with. I would highly recommend for anyone to seek their assistance!
We were selected twice; our first experience was heartbreaking, but very well managed by our social worker. The young couple, who we had met, got themselves into a very unpredictable situation, and things just didn’t work out. This ended up being the biggest blessing, because exactly 3 months later we ended up with our beautiful baby boy! Love of all of our lives, even our teenage son!
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Hi, all. Our adoption journey began about 5 or 6 years ago, when we started educating ourselves about adoption. From a recommendation of a very happy family who’d adopted, we attended our first informational meeting at one of the offices of Adoptions From the Heart (AFTH). It was a great meeting and very educational. I think it was held at a public library, a very nice one! And it had 15-20 couples and singles in attendance, including a couple who are close friends of ours.
Flash forward… less than two years later, our friends successfully adopted a beautiful baby boy via AFTH, and a young birth mom from PA. And another year or so later, we successfully adopted our first child through AFTH, also born PA in 2008.
We have had a tremendously positive experience with AFTH, from the education courses, the home study, the availability of the AFTH social workers, the clear step-by-step actions/paperwork we had to complete, the counseling and guidance we received, to the unexpected friendships that developed and the finalization of our adoption which was pure celebration, to the fun and joyful annual agency-hosted summer picnic we attend along with our son’s birth-mother and hundreds of other families & birth-parents.
We have a wonderfully healthy relationship with our son’s birth-mom, and we see her two to three times a year, by choice. We’re happy to know her, and she’s thrilled to see our little boy happy and thriving! (Looking back, I can’t believe that once upon a time we were threatened by and scared of open-adoption.)
Our AFTH experience was and continues to be so positive that we have recommended the agency to several others who have since begun their own adoption journeys with AFTH, and all of them are happy, too. Some of them have also been placed!
Probably the best testimonial for AFTH I can share is that we returned to AFTH to adopt again. I’m happy to say we have been chosen to parent again (yay!), and we recently met the birth-parents, along with their AFTH social worker, in PA. We’re super excited!
Without reservation, I highly recommend Adoptions from the Heart. And I have to say, they are aptly named; their hearts are in everything they do, and generously extended to the birth-parents and adoptive families they help.
I wish you – and anyone else exploring their adoption options – a positive experience, no matter what agency or path you choose. And know that you will be in good hands should you choose AFTH.
All the best -
David
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First and foremost, I wish everybody on this board the best of luck when growing their family. Adoption is a wonderful way to grow a family, especially if other factors either prevent or inhibit doing it through traditional methods.
That being said, we used Adoptions From The Heart, an adoption agency located in Wynnewood, a suburb of Philadelphia. After 10 months of being in the book, we were blessed to get a beautiful daughter. We had the privilege of meeting and interacting with the birth mother and birth grandmother. A bond was formed that allows our daughter to know and understand that she is a part of a very large family.
The social workers from Adoptions From The Heart treated everybody in a loving manner. I am not sure about the experiences of others on this board, but making baseless accusations about “what I heard” is personally and professionally irresponsible. As a teacher, I would never allow comments such as those into any aspects of writing. Please take a moment to reconsider positions of “historical relativism” in which everybody’s opinion is equal and valid.
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions about open adoption in general or Adoptions From The Heart in specific. Thank you for taking the time to read this post and please continue on the road to giving a child a wonderful life through open adoption.
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