This post was syndicated by BlogHer.
I was so excited to sit down and watch the new season premiere of Parenthood last night. Then DishNetwork decided to have HD and local channel coverage fails left and right, so I had to wait until this morning to watch it on Hulu. During my non-watching pout-fest, people were kind of enough to send me some emails and tweets warning me of the adoption storyline unfolding for Julia and Joel.
I’m glad they did, or my head might have exploded this morning while watching.
Julia has unexplained uterine scarring, as I talked about last season when I feared that the might knock up Haddie and go the in-family adoption route. Instead, Kristina (her mom) is pregnant (and isn’t she an adorable pregnant mama?). This season brought back the adoption storyline out with Julia trying to remake their adoption profile video to mention Lady Gaga because no one had picked them in six months. (Of note: If you mentioned Lady Gaga in your profile or, if I could think of a comparable 2003 pop star, I would have rolled my eyes. I can’t think of anything less important to know about a family that I want to parent my child.)
The next time we see Julia, she’s at work asking the “Latte Girl” if she’s pregnant. She is, though I’m not sure how Julia thought it was appropriate to ask this young woman if her not-even-visible-under-her-apron belly was in fact a baby bump. But, whatever. Julia later apologizes, which the Latte Girl accepts because “she’s not keeping the baby.” For once — FOR ONCE — Julia is stunned to silence. Thank goodness. I talk a lot, but that woman doesn’t shut up.
Later, Julia is talking with her sister Sarah about “buying” the Latte Girl’s baby. Later she uses the same terminology with her husband. The first time I think it was intended to be a joke, but it fell flat. The second time it was just creepy. In the previews for the rest of the season, we see Julia actually ask Latte Girl if she can adopt her baby.
And that brings us to my opinions.
Really?
This is the best we can do, NBC writers? This? This is it?
Perhaps there is hope to be had. Maybe Julia will come around to recognizing that Latte Girl is a real woman, a real mother with a name, feelings and an issue that is above and beyond what she (Julia or Latte Girl, really) can even begin to comprehend. Maybe they will bond. Maybe this will be the show that depicts what an open adoption can be — real and awkward and messy and joyous and awful and everything in between. It wouldn’t be far-fetched for the Braverman family to pull Latte Girl into their fold; they’re a big family with lots of love. And judgment, though they usually work through that in a few episodes (see also Haddie’s boyfriend). Maybe this will turn out to be good.
But I fear it won’t be.
I can predict many things going wrong. Some ideas:
- Julia and Joel will match and essentially “court” Latte Girl through her pregnancy. They will invest time and money. The baby will be born and Latte Girl will decide not to relinquish.
- OR she will place the baby and then will decide to fight for the baby.
- OR Julia and Joel will match and essentially “court” Latte Girl through her pregnancy, Latte Girl will relinquish, talk about the dreams she has for her life and will fade into the woodwork, never to be seen or heard from again. Because that’s what good birth mothers do; they just disappear and let the “real” family live their life.
I can’t decide if it’s going to be the first or the last prediction, but I only give a 1% chance to the made-for-TV attempted depiction at what an open adoption looks like. The world may be ready for all kinds of scenarios on TV. Parenthood already has autism, interracial couples, co-parenting, drugs and alcohol, unemployment, infidelity forgiveness (and unforgiveness) and so on. But the world doesn’t seem ready for a birth mother who doesn’t do her hand-over-and-disappear duty ala Juno.
I accept that for what it is. I accept that the world doesn’t know what to do with me and that writers think I’m some unicorn that doesn’t exist. But I think that the writers are wrong and are selling the viewing public short by writing the same damn adoption storyline over and over and over and over. You want real ratings and an interested viewership? Write something different. Do something that hasn’t been done before. Don’t make this another overplayed, predictable Lifetime movie. Don’t do what every adoption TV storyline has been, what every movie has done (except for that one Lifetime movie that is still kind of odd). Write this one differently.
C’mon, Parenthood. Do something new. I want to believe in you.
Did you watch? What did you think about the adoption storyline? Also feel free to rant about Haddie’s hair. Or Amber’s. Oof!
(Read my preious post on Season 3 of Parenthood.)
Twitter: Inkscrblr
says:
Ugh! I bet the first option is where they go with this because birthmom flakes out and chooses to keep herbaby seems the laziest of all writing scenarios. Seriously! This stuff drives me. It isn’t like they couldn’t reach out to the adoption community or find a birthmom somewhere that would give better advice or consultation. Honestly!
Paula
Http://www.thriftymommastips.blogspot.com/
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It’s amazing how much differently you view these story lines once you’ve done even a small amount of real research on adoption.
I’ve been watching old seasons of a show called Drop Dead Diva (yep! I watch junk t.v. and I’m not ashamed). It’s a lawyer show and they did the standard “Help! The birth mom changed her mind and wants to take ‘my’ baby away!” story line.
Basically the baby’s father had come back into the picture and wanted to be a family causing the mother to ask for her child back. But, it turns out that the father was shopping the baby around and had found a couple in Nevada that would pay $100,000 to adopt their son (the current adoptive mom only paid $25,000). The mother realizes that the father is no good and that the baby needs to go back to the adoptive mom.
As written, you’re obviously supposed to hate the father, pity the mother and be very glad that the baby ends up with the adoptive mom that can clearly give him a much more stable and privileged life than his young, single mom.
Years ago, I would have watched it and thought, “Nice. Happy ending.”
Now, I found myself thinking how obvious it was that the mom wanted to parent her child. The minute she thought she had the stability the baby needed she asked for him back. This wasn’t a baby that needed a loving home (he had one!). This was a baby that needed someone to tell his mom that it would be alright, that she could do it, that she had every right to raise her son and that she wouldn’t be ruining his life by parenting.
Given how little actual thought and research goes into adoption story-lines in Hollywood, I’d be willing to wager money that the storyline is either “birth mom flakes and sad couple is left to piece together their childless lives” or “birth mom flakes then changes her mind leaving the baby with the ‘better’ family in the happy end”.
Here’s hoping they actually surprise us by writing something real.
Best,
Jessica
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Twitter: Lisseintheworld
says:
I was a bit taken aback by Julia’s use of “buy her baby.” They had her say it twice so I’m thinking that they are making her grim and flippant about the situation – oddly both defense mechanism and self-punishment for her own perceived failure.
As a character, Julia has a lot to learn about needing to be in control of a situation even when she’s not 100% engaged in it. So yes, I think there is going to be a conflict about the relinquishment of the baby, and Julia may not win in the end. If she loses, she’ll likely be “rewarded” with a pregnancy of her own. Not the best depiction of the situation, but prospective adoptive parents have it happen frequently enough not to be unrealistic.
Your preferred scenario would also play into Julia’s control freakishness. Having to come to terms with this other person in the frame of her immediate family would be hard for her, but as she works through it, she has the resources to help “Latte Girl” do more than just deliver coffee, and in that way, Julia’s not really giving up controlling things, which might make her feel better about it.
I give Parenthood great props for trying, though. The scene from the original movie that most stuck with me was when the school told Steve Martin and Mary Steenburgen that there was something “wrong” with their son. 20ish years later, I have a son about Max’s age with Aspergers. Some of the story lines resolve too nicely for real life, but I found myself in tearful recognition nearly every week last season. He will be more of a minor character this year, but there may be trouble adjusting to the new baby and there should be more discussion of the transition to a mainstream classroom.
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Twitter: fouragainsttwo
says:
I cannot believe the “buy her baby” line. Two times even. I hope they don’t ruin this show for me!
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I thought of you also and I was disappointed. And I wouldn’t hesitate to tell NBC how you feel.
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Twitter: fromtracie
says:
I would love to see them go forward with an open adoption story. you are right, it really could work with the way the Bravermans are written.
Haddie’s hair was so very awful, it was hard for me to concentrate on any other thing in the show. It was possibly even worse than Amber’s.
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I have loved this show since it started. I have a son with special needs, and much of Max’s story line hit home for me. I thought they handled it well. This, however, has me fuming. The first time Julia said something about buying the baby, I thought maybe she was being sarcastic. The second time, well, I wanted to punch her. I am really curious to see how this story line plays out, but I certainly hope they are planning to educate Julia (and the audience) on what adoption is really about. I hope we learn the “latte girl’s” name and see what thinking about adoption is like from her point of view.
Also, Haddie’s hair was AWFUL. Amber’s was pretty bad, but she can get away with it in a punk-rock sort of way. Haddie, though? Does she actually think that looks good?
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[...] The New Season of Parenthood and That Pesky Adoption Storyline, from Jenna at The Chronicles of Munchkin Land • because I’d also love to see a realistic portrayal of adoption in the media (and a realistic portrayal of open adoption might make me faint dead away)… [...]
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As a perspective adoptive parent and huge fan of this show I have to say that I was very, very upset by this episode and the direction they are going with the adoption topic. In my opinion it is uncalled for. It makes adoptive parents look like idiots and appears to be completely overlooking the perspective of the birth parent. Even calling her “latte” girl is not acceptable. I think that it is great that they are approaching adoption in the show but I really wish they would have done their research. I don’t usually swear, but it really pissed me off that they used the phrase “buy her baby” and used it more than once. We just recently had a placement and after bringing the baby home his mom decided she wanted to parent and baby went back home to his mom. I had a neighbor say to me, “I didn’t know that could happen. If you would pay for a baby that couldn’t happen, right?” I abruptly, probably a little too abruptly, told her that it was illegal to “pay for” a baby. My point is that people are incredibly ignorant on issues related to and around adoption, especially open adoption. And shame on Parenthood for feeding into stereotypes and outdated information related to a topic that so many could be helped by if they were able to receive real, accurate information on the subject.
Yes, Haddie’s hair is terrible.
Dana
http://lifeunexpected-adoptionjourney.blogspot.com/
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Twitter: redpenmamapgh
says:
I haven’t watched yet, and I would hope for what you expressed. The scene I always want to rewrite in movies and TV shows in the labor and delivery scene. I told my husband yesterday if I ever wrote a l&d scene (or directed one — fat chance, I know), I would not have a mother laying down or pushing two minutes after she started labor. Man, that just bugs the heck out of me.
In the meantime, I’ll keep watching Parenthood, too. I love that show.
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[...] I’m sure the writers will come up with something completely dramatic and possibly tear-inducing next week when Latte Girl explains to Julia why she said no. I’m stalking IMDB to see if they list Latte Girl/Zoe’s character (actor Rosa Salazar) in any week’s episodes past what we already know from previews. That will let us know whether or not Latte Girl changes that no to a yes — however temporary depending on which of my predicted storylines the writers actually decide to follow. [...]
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PREDICTIONS (though I am stating the obvious, you can thank me later):
1). Due to her somewhat advanced maternal age, poor Kristina is going to die before/during/shortly after the childbirth process.
2). The baby girl survives, but Adam and children are devastated by Kristina’s death.
3). Between Adam’s responsibilities of, now single-fatherhood, Haddie & Max, and the start-up biz, he tries but fails to see how he can appropriately care for his newborn daughter. After two or three episodes of soul-searching deliberation, he will elect to give the new baby to Julia and husband who want a baby – and keep her inside the Braverman family.
4). Amber, the young girl who lives in the warehouse (with the rats) is gonna come-out as a lesbian (you heard it here first).
5). Drew finally made a date with the pretty girl down the street – they will become “an item”. Watch for a teen pregnancy storyline before the close of this season.
6). And as if we didn’t see it coming like a freight train, Jabbar’s pediatrician begins dating Jasmine, much to Crosby’s consternation.
7). But never fear cuz Latte-girl is likely to meet Crosby, now single, and wins a Daddy and a house in the ‘burbs for she and baby to begin life as a family.
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Twitter: firemom
says:
Look at this killer comment. Love it.
That said, the fire department predicted #4 before your comment. (Why yes, they watch Parenthood at the fire house!) And I called the teen pregnancy one last night as well. I haven’t blogged about yesterday’s episode yet today because I’m swamped!
Thanks for your comment though. I think you’re right on many of these.
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Twitter: fouragainsttwo
says:
I just finished watching this weeks episode. Though I don’t care for Christina much and we could not be friends (she wouldn’t put up with me) I hope she does not die. Dieing parents is so overdone with shows and movies.
I actually think that so far the adoption line is going okay. Julia looked like an idiot and has to admit it. Her husband wants to do things “right” although I don’t think he is overly educated on the subject and Zoe is expressing her current feelings. If Parenthood shows us a process that is normal and ends with a postive open adoption (with Julia or someone else) it will be a good thing. While we all want a perfect adoption storyline on TV, we all know that adoption isn’t perfect.
What I hope will happen:
Zoe keeps talking with Julia about her fears and Julia becomes a support system for her that is genuine. They talk about why she is choosing adoption and the normal reasons like “I don’t have stuff, I can’t do it on my own” are addressed and she is validated for being a responsible adult who could take care of her baby. I would love to see them have Zoe change her mind. Not because I am against adoption, but because I am against young women feeling like they have to have the perfect scenerio to have a baby.
Please don’t have a teen preg story line Parenthood. Can’t we just show teens in a relationship with normal relationship things like “he didn’t call me when he said I would” or “She is making me go to see chic flicks”. Why does every life on tv have to be complicated?
I hope that Haddie changes her hair.
Thats all for now! I cannot wait for next week.
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I hate it too, as a future adoptive parent in waiting to be matched with our birthmother through an agency.
First of all, our agency is amazing, and makes sure that things like the birthfather trying to sell his baby don’t happen.
Second of all, it’s such a bad idea to have a private, under the table adoption. Does this really happen? Julia should know better, AS A LAWYER.
Third, I loved that they skipped over the whole process. I’m glad the birthmother isn’t being villainized, but keep watching – I bet she will. I bet she will keep the baby at the last minute.
At least they have Sydney, in all her brattyness.
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The birthmother should never ever be villianized as you said. That would be ridiculous. People often forget that without the birthmother there would be no family.
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[...] The New Season of Parenthood and That Pesky Adoption Storyline — I don’t know how the season will play out, what will become of Zoe’s baby and [...]
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My comment is that I have actually been through an adoption. I was the “latte girl” Not in that exact way though. What im saying is, is that I chose an open adoption and Im finding the storyline, now, once they got over the bumpy beginning, to be quite realistic. I am interested to see what the birth will be like, because unlike most people that will be watching I know too, what that is like as the birthmother. I sincerely hope you read this and chose to respond.
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Twitter: firemom
says:
You can feel how you want to, of course. But I’m also a birth mother, and I absolutely hate this story line. I don’t feel it’s realistic. I also feel it’s misleading and damaging.
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