People have doubted me before when I told them that the “agency” with which I worked was fantastically unethical. They don’t know the ins and outs of how I was lied to, how J and Dee were treated and the whole cluster that followed. Some of it does sound rather outlandish. I mean, how on Earth are so-called agencies allowed to blatantly lie to expectant mothers or potential adoptive families in this day in age? Surely that’s a thing of the past.
It’s not.
And so, if anyone ever needed proof that the ANLC has no ethical concern for expectant parents considering adoption, please take a gander at this. Let me screencap it for when it eventually ceases to exist, which can’t be soon enough.
In case you can’t read it, it says:
“Adoption Network Law Center is supporting MTV in casting for the new season of 16 and Pregnant.”
And goes on to say:
“If you are:
- Planning to place your baby for adoption
- Between 15-17 years old
- Less than 7 months pregnant
Then apply here!”
Exclamation point their own!
First and foremost, the fact that an unethical adoption facilitator (as they are not an actual agency and thus not governed by the same state laws) is helping with casting for a teen reality show is alarming. It is jarring. It is a big red flag waving in the air declaring that something is wrong with the system.
It should read:
“Hi, we’re going to use these fun graphics and colors that appeal to your teen senses to draw you in before we speak with your parents. Then we’re going to tell you great things about MTV! I mean, IMAGINE HOW FAMOUS YOU WILL BE! And then we will fill your head full of lies about how you could never possibly be enough for your child and how everything is working against you and how you’d be a bad mom. And we’ll make promises of openness even though it’s not legally binding in most states. And then we’ll give you half truths about the ins and outs of signing your rights away. And then! We won’t talk to you ever again even though we make promises of post-placement counseling. YAY! SO PLEASE APPLY NOW! MTV! SHINY THINGS!”
It goes on.
“I’m looking for a loving family to adopt my baby.”
And they won’t tell you that adoptive families divorce at the same rate. Die at the same rate. Fumble and fall in this difficult economy. You know, just like the rest of us. They’ll paint them as perfect. And, don’t get me wrong, there are gems among them. But they are all human. And they will all make mistakes. And without any help from this specific so-called agency, many will falter and fail when it comes to openness, having no support to turn to when the going gets tough. (Same goes for birth parents.)
What a deal, really. You can lose your baby and be exploited. Swell.
I have issues enough with MTV’s show. I have issues enough with adoption consistently being painted with rosy colors, ignoring the hardship that birth parents endure for decades after the physical act of relinquishment. But this blatant mocking of all things ethical in adoption is a new low for even the lowest of lows in the adoption industry. ANLC is basically laughing in the face of every expectant mother considering relinquishment, every mother who has already relinquished and every mother separated by adoption yet to come and saying, “Tell your story? We’ll sneak around and make adoption look glamorous. And then we’ll shove them over to you after we’re done.” Cackle, cackle, glee, glee.
Cases for ethical reform in the adoption industry are staring us all in the face. They’re screaming. They’re siren-blaring, arms-flailing, jumping-up-and-down in front of us. And no one seems to care.
If you are a teen who has investigated that link and would like to talk with someone (or multiple someones) about adoption, relinquishment, grief and loss, life-long impact on future children, openness and its non-enforceable nature or ANLC, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Please use my contact form and put ANLC/MTV in the subject so I don’t miss it. IP addresses are recorded.
