NaBloPoMo » The Chronicles of Munchkin Land

Why I’m Not NaBloPoMo-ing Here

Oct 292011

I didn’t participate in NaBloPoMo — National Blog Posting Month — at all last year. November is a full month for me with both of the boys’ birthdays, gearing up for the holidays and other busy stuff. In the past, I tried to post every single day on this blog, on our family blog and on any blog that I worked for professionally. My brain boggles at the thought.

I am participating in NaBloPoMo this year — but not here. I decided to just post every day on my family blog. I have reasons.

It comes down to this: I don’t want to to be forced to write about adoption for thirty straight days. It gets overwhelming. Especially when you factor in that the Munchkin’s birthday is in December, so November has that slippery slope aspect, leaving me sad and raw and ready to hide by the time the last day of the month rolls around.

Part of me wishes that I could separate my writing from my emotion on this blog. I mean, the point of NaBloPoMo is to, “Blog every day. Improve your writing. Grow your blog.” I want to improve my writing — especially here. I want to grow this blog. I want people to think they’re just stumbling upon another mommy blog and be side-swiped by the adoption truck. That’s the main reason that I participated with Chronicles in the past: it was a great way to get people to read about adoption who had never taken the time to consider it in the past.

I decided to take care of myself this year. I still wanted to have fun, participate and read new blogs. But I didn’t want to take on that educate-the-public role that I have in the past. I’m feeling tired of that as of late due to situations that fall into my lap without being asked, so I need some time and space to breathe.

I ramble on about this because I hope some of my adoption blogging friends (maybe some in the Open Adoption Bloggers) will take on the task of entering NaBloPoMo as an adoption blogger. It’s hard, I’ll tell you that now. But if you let me know now, I will try my hardest to stop in once every few days and encourage you in your journey. So, let me know if you’re going to be NaBloPoMo-ing on your site.

Best of luck to you if you are participating. I’ll see you around as I’ll still be there. (And yes, I’ll still post here as time allows. I always do, don’t I?)

A Nap, A Sundae and …

Adoption, in General, NaBloPoMo, Personal 10 Responses »

Nov 302007

I got an interesting e-mail regarding a previous post in which I stated that this adjustment period would be easier without adoption issues. By “interesting,” of course, I do mean scathing, rude and rather off base. I was accused of “wishing my daughter away” and not “cherishing her being.” I find that pretty incredible, knowing who I am and how I feel about my daughter.

My truth is that I do have a daughter, relinquished for adoption. I love her as much as either of the boys currently making my life busy. They live under my roof and do things like make laundry and big messes. She doesn’t live under my roof, true, and I don’t do her laundry or clean up her daily messes. But, gosh, I love her.

But there are days that I wish for things to be different, even just emotionally. Somedays? I’d would much rather be living in denial. There are days when I wish that I didn’t fully understand everything I have lost by placing her for adoption. There are days when I wish I was still drinking the Adoption Kool-Aid, oblivious to the grief, the loss, the unethical treatment, the lies I was told and the fact that things like that are still happening to mothers and their babies. There are days when I just want the world to switch into “Perfect Mode” so that no one feels like I do, either regarding adoption or even parenting in general. I mean, to be honest? My definition of a “Perfect World” has expanded in the past six days to include the fact that breastfeeding would ALWAYS be easy and painless for mothers so that ALL mothers could breastfeed their children without becoming OMG, SO OVERWHELMED.

But the truth remains that our reality is what it is. I make the best of it. I accept my role in the situation. I accept that since I am no longer in denial, there will be moments (days, weeks, months) of pain. I accept that I can’t have that perfect scenario that I’m dreaming of. I accept my daughter for who she is, no matter who she decides to become.

And I also accept that there will be days when I need a freaking nap. An ice cream sundae. And a break from adoption.

End NaBloPoMo. (Expect a lull here leading up to Munchkin’s birthday.)