May 142012
 

Yesterday we had a dual-celebration in these parts. There wasn’t much time to dwell on the ins and outs of emotions. I had to jump in feet first and be a mommy, be a daughter, be a daughter-in-law, be a wife celebrating her husband’s 30th birthday, be a soon-to-be-aunt, just be.

But once we were back home and the boys were asleep and the calm settled down and around, I picked up the phone to call Dee back. She had texted a Happy Mother’s Day message earlier in the cacophony, and I wanted to return the sentiment.

She was busy with JD and reading, so we exchanged a quick “Happy Mother’s Day” and “I love you,” and then she handed the phone off to the Munchkin. After the “hellos” and “how are yous?” and “did it rain all day theres?,” a slight pause happened — as does when talking to children on the phone — and she said, “Happy Mother’s Day.”

I had a brief moment where I had to stare at the corner of the ceiling and blink rapidly — but instead of trying not to laugh, it was to keep from becoming a complete blubbering mess on the phone with this amazing, fabulous, best little girl ever. Once I composed myself, the conversation continued as you might imagine with some “thank yous” and “I miss yous” and “I love yous.” Then she asked to speak to my husband so she could tell him Happy Birthday. He also had a moment. She is, quite honestly, the best little girl on the planet. I don’t care what you say.

There are little moments along this open adoption journey that stand out as big, important things. Maybe not to the rest of the world, but to my heart. My daughter told me Happy Mother’s Day.

My beautiful yellow roses.

I can count this year as not only having survived, but having enjoyed Mother’s Day. That, in itself, is a huge milestone.

May 102012
 

The new Open Adoption Roundtable asks us to:

Write to someone else in the adoption constellation (someone specific or a general group). What do you want to say to them on Mother’s Day?

I want to write three very brief letters to my three favorite adoptive moms this Mother’s Day. They are all very different letters as each of these adoptive moms are vastly different. But all three of them are my friends. I always get offended when I hear that adoptive moms and birth moms can’t ever be friends. I’m all, “Pfft, whatever. I do what I want!” I don’t deal well with being told I can’t do something, so I seem to collect adoptive moms. And, of course, you know, that one that comes with the territory of being a birth mother. I do kinda like her too. (But, let’s face it, she also just kinda fell in my lap.)

Without further adieu, my letters. (Be forewarned, one of these is very irreverent. Because friends can do that.)

– __ — __ –

Dear Dee,

Thank you. You are a strong, amazing, compassionate, loving, funny, great mom. I love that you trust me with parenting questions. I am thankful for the way you love the Munchkin. I am also thankful that we can make fun of stupid people together; what would I do without you?! I wish the world for you in the coming months. I’m always here for you. Can’t wait to see you soon!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Love,
Jenna

– __ — __ –

Dear @2princessmama,

Thank you for proving that adoptive parents are equally crazy by getting a divorce and then shacking up and living in sin. You make birth parents look good. Thanks for taking the time to go to that celebration of stupid crackwhore birthmoms this Saturday, though I know it’s because you want to see for yourself that we have a day that qualifies us as less than you. Also, you owe me wine.

(Don’t you love making people gasp in horror? I do. We’re awesome.)

Happy Mother’s Day — you really are a great mom. Don’t let the young’ns tell you otherwise.

Love,
Jenna

– __ — __ —

Dear @fouragainsttwo,

I won’t be as irreverent as I was with our other Amanda-named-friend, but know that I think you are a fantastic mother to all of your daughters. I am thankful for our friendship, for your mothering, for the way our stories have intersected. Thank you for tolerating me and my noisy boys.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Love,
Jenna

– __ — __ –

I promise you, innocent readers, that none of these letters, even that one in the middle, are written in a mean way. I am super thankful for each of these amazing mothers. They have all taught me something about mothering, about birthmotherhood. They have all laughed with me, cried with me and been angry with me. And, well, uh, probably been angry with me. They have all forgiven me. They are friends. And they are moms who deserve a high five this Mother’s Day.

And wine.

Wine

Happy Mother’s Day.