I talked with Munchkin on the phone earlier this week. It was an early morning before she went off to her first day of school for the year. I don’t know if she was tired and had a sleepy voice. Or the beginnings of a cold. Or what it was. But her voice was different.

Maybe I’m overly sensitive to changes as I haven’t seen her in over a year. Maybe her voice hasn’t changed at all and my memory is already starting to warp things that I never wanted to forget. But it struck me.

“This is the voice of my daughter. And I don’t know it.”

I wouldn’t have known it in a room of crowded people. If I was blinded, I wouldn’t have picked it out. And I’ve been mulling that fact over in my head a lot this past week. It’s just a weird thing, as a birth mother, to realize that changes are going to happen and some of those things are going to make me unable to initially recognize my daughter.

It’s a good thing she has my eyes.

I wrote about my thoughts on the premiere of 90210 over on the birth parent blog. But it’s still bugging me. Andy wrote about it on her blog as well. And she sums up my feelings quite well:

I realize that TV shows are written to the level of the lowest common denominator, and that they are written to be sensational so that they sell. This is not a documentary on ethical adoption, it is a Prime time drama. But just once I wish that there could be a positive open adoption story put out there for people to see.

Right? She’s smart. I like her. And she’s right. Television shows, even supposedly non-fiction ones (that all have story boards and “scripts”, mind you), are written for that schmuck who won’t get off the couch and do anything about his world. He just sits there. Watching the pretty screen flash things at him.

Do I think open adoption will ever be accurately and/or positively portrayed on a television show? Heck no, I don’t. Why? An open adoption in which parents are respectful of one another and we find things actually working is straight up boring. Do you really want to watch a television show that boring? As an example, I’ll just use our family.

Scene #1: I sit at the computer, laughing. Zoom in on instant message screen. D and I discuss America’s Next Top Model, the weather and workout shoes. This goes on for two hours as we’re both reading blogs, working and doing laundry at the same time. Fade to black.

Scene #2: I cuss at the printer because a photo I’m printing for the Munchkin’s monthly package jams. Eventually I get everything right, seal the envelope and go to the Post Office. I get a coffee on the way home. Fade to black.

Scene #3: My oldest son prays for his sister before he goes to bed. Fade to black.

I mean, sure, it’s heartwarming in a way. But not really interesting, right? Sigh. Instead, we need murderers! And drugs! And baby stealing! And drama drama drama!

It’s frustrating. I know we’re boring. But we’re real. Doesn’t anyone care?