There’s not much to say about the fact that 90(ish) teens at one high school or either pregnant or have recently become new moms. In an of itself it is indicative of a larger problem that can’t be “solved” in ways that those who are most appalled to the problem want. The reality is that whatever they’re doing sex education wise (read: abstinence only) isn’t work.

But that’s not what I’m blogging about. Here are some reactions I’ve seen around the web. Not much from the blogosphere exactly, but I actually allowed/forced myself to read some of the comments accompanying some of the link-and-story sharing. I don’t count that as a mistake; it gives me the chance to educate others.

I’d like to know why parents of teen moms are letting them keep their babies. I would be forcing my teen to give it up for adoption. There are so many would-be parents wanting to adopt but there aren’t any because girls are keeping them. I don’t get it.
Via Disboards.com

That hurts my heart. Forcing the teen? That, right there, is perfect evidence that we haven’t escaped the mindset of the Baby Scoop Era. Avoid family shame and woe by “getting rid” of the “problem” while simultaneously providing “good” parents with a baby.

A better solution (at least in my opinion) is a seemingly-unrelated push at adoption law reform. That leads to more and faster adoptions. Combine this with removing any stigma about giving infants up for adoption (and promotion of safe sex) and while it doesn’t magically make all the problems go away, it alleviates much of th problems at hand here.
Via The Daily Beast

Of course, the “adoption law reform” being spoken about here isn’t the ethical reform that so many of us are talking about and pushing for and hoping comes to light sometime in our lifetime. This reform is the one that affords adoptive parents an easier time with the adoption process by stepping on the rights of birth parents.

And while I agree that the stigma that follows birth mothers really needs to go the way of the Dodo, you’re not just dealing with stigma. Even if society stops labeling birth mothers as cold-hearted, coke-addicted floozies, birth parents still have grief. Whether that adoption is open or closed, the grief is still present. We can’t just write off young mothers and sentence them to a life of grief simply because they are young.

I’d like to go back to the days where the baby-daddy is forced to marry the girl, and to support his wife and child, or the baby is given up for adoption. There has to be a price paid for immoral and irresponsible behavior. Of course most of these baby-daddies, who are willing to use a girl for self-gratification without even thinking twice, aren’t worth 2 hoots. They are scum. But somehow they are proud to be scum.
Also via The Daily Beast

I don’t even have to say anything about that, now do I? Well, I will say something anyway. You know what scum is? Let me tell you. Scum is the type of person who kicks someone while they’re down. You can have opinions about sex before marriage. You can have opinions about sex education, parental responsibility and what constitutes as immoral and irresponsible behavior. You can even have opinions on whether you think these girls should have aborted, should parent or should choose to place. But you can’t call them scum. Ridiculous.

But it’s not all negative out there. A blog at The Village Voice covered a quote by one of the girls which speaks of adoption. The blogger, Rosie Gray, then makes a great point, and so I’m quoting them both.

It’s too late for me anyway. I ain’t with my baby’s daddy, but he still gave me my child and I do what I want to do. I take care of my baby on my own. Because my momma – she wanted me to give up my baby for adoption and I didn’t want to do it, so she doesn’t help me out at all. And when I get my money, I do what I gotta do for my baby. I’ve got my money set up in my bank account so I can get a car and I’m just pretty much on my own. My baby will be in college campus daycare. I’ve got a plan, I’ve just got to put it to work. But all that stressing & crying, I don’t got time for that because it’s too late for me.

That right there should probably be required reading in every high school, everywhere.
Via The Village Voice Blogs

It should be required reading in every high school, everywhere. And required reading for parents who missed it. That mother? The one that wanted her daughter to “give up” the baby for adoption and now won’t help out at all? Will regret the time she is losing with her grandchild. More over, teens need to understand that it’s not all fun and games — parenting or placement or dealing with adult stuff before you’re an adult.

I’d kind of like to fly down to Memphis and make sure that these girls are being educated regarding their choices. I cringe to think at how slap-happy the local adoption agencies might be as this news breaks nationwide. My heart is heavy for these girls who have no idea what their future will hold — no matter their decisions. I want them to know that there are those of us who have survived various things and that they can as well. I just want them to be fully informed before they make decisions. I don’t want them to be forced into anything. And I fear too many might be.

I don’t have the answers. I don’t think anyone does. But I hope, at the very least, each girl has someone in her corner, pulling for her and watching out for her during this time. I know what it’s like to have no support; I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Thoughts on the 90 Pregnant and/or New Moms in Memphis is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

I’ve never fully recounted my experience with state assistance, Medicaid and food stamps that I received while pregnant with the Munchkin. I still hold a lot of shame, not specifically attached to the receipt of said assistances, but from the reactions of others while I was utilizing government funded programs.

People were downright nasty to me. Family members. “Friends.” Co-workers. The staff at my doctor’s office. The staff at the hospital. The social workers themselves (and it got worse later on). My landlord. A pharmacy worker. The people at my current church who didn’t know I was once on assistance but launched into a tirade about those who are. The list goes on.

But there were compassionate people. The first time I showed up at the grocery store to use my EBT card, I had no idea how to go about it. The cashier was kind. Her tone was one of compassion. She taught me not only about my purchases at that store, but how to use it elsewhere. I still have a vivid memory of leaving that store and thinking that good people did exist.

It was really hard for me to stay on assistance due to my kidney disorder that landed me on bed rest at 18 weeks. Level 3 bed rest, mind you. I was unable to work. I was also unable to drive. So, when I would miss a visit with my social work regarding my lack of employment seeking, they would cut me off of assistance. I would then break bed rest, whcih was really dangerous for me to do, and get back to the office. Remind them. Show them my forms. And be fine again. For awhile. I was cut off twice during the pregnancy… and again right at the end. I paid for Munchkin’s birth out of pocket… for years. I just recently paid it off.

I’ve been asked why I didn’t go back in right after birth and get put back on assistance. The social worker on my case was so incredibly rude to me when I admitted, somewhere in the 8th month of pregnancy, that I would be placing my daughter for adoption. She verbally lashed me for “working the system” and taking money from people who really needed it. She yelled for a good twenty minutes. There was no way I was going back in to that office and asking for my birth to be covered when I didn’t have a baby to show for it. I left Pennsylvania six days after Munchkin’s birth.

I am grateful that the assistance did cover what it did. As I said, I had a ridiculously complicated pregnancy. The assistance covered my first lengthy hospital stay when my kidney disorder was found. It covered that first surgery. A second lengthy hospital stay. A third surgery and that hospital stay. Four L&D trips in which I was in preterm labor due to said kidney disorder and the medications I needed to take to combat the labor, dilation and constant contractions. An ER visit for heavy labor, a subsequent trip to Pittsburgh via ambulance (lights and sirens) and that lengthy hospital stay. That last hospital stay was actually what ended up cutting my benefits. I missed an appointment at the office while I was fighting for my life and my daughter’s life in a hospital bed in Pittsburgh. Two weeks later, they cut me, but I didn’t receive notice as my parents had me staying in their house as my doctor’s had said labor would be soon. I found out about my cut benefits about six hours after the Munchkin arrived.

Due to my experience, I have a lot of compassion for people on assistance. That’s why I felt a lot for this writer at BlogHer who talked about judgments passed on people who are on assistance having things like cell phones or the Internet. And that’s why my vision kind of shakes and I can’t form coherent sentences when people spout of nasty things in the comments or on Facebook in reply to posts like that. I can tell, immediately, that those people have never had to fight for their life, for their unborn baby’s life, while trying to stay on assistance. That they’ve never had a social worker yell thisclose to their face. That they’ve never felt the shame and stigma of both accepting assistance and relinquishment. I try to force myself to realize that not everyone wants to understand the plights of others, but it just breaks my heart for those that are continuously stereotyped by those who don’t even want to understand.

I get so discouraged with society when we let the negative define a whole group of people. If we all did that, we should say that everyone who is not on assistance is a nasty, prejudicial, compassion-less meanieface. If we know that not to be true, why can’t we stop stereotyping those utilizing services?

I’ve Walked That Mile in Those Shoes is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

It’s early. I had no sleep because BigBrother has a raging ear infection. But let me tell you something: my child was not unwanted nor unloved. And if you think that birth parent rights are a “problem” for adoption, adopting from another country doesn’t magically remove the birth parents from the equation. Babies don’t appear out of midair! Instead, as we recently read in an article out of Guatemala, too often birth parents from other countries are victimized in various ways that we American birth parents don’t want to imagine. One way does not solve the problems for the other way. Children adopted internationally still have birth parents. Can’t erase it. (I submitted a comment but we know that The New York Times screens comments so, well, we’ll see!)

Poor Unwanted Babies and Pesky Birth Parent Rights! is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

Did you know that I’m “extremely chaotic?” As are most of my birth mother sisters? I wasn’t aware of this fact prior to reading the comments on this amazing post, originally brought to my attention by Nicole. It’s unfortunate that such a great post has to be tainted by such ignorant stereotypical sludge but, alas, it’s the internet and people aren’t afraid to spew their hatred when they can jump behind the veil of anonymity.

What, exactly, does that even mean? Chaotic? It’s straight up boring over here most of the time. I mean, minus the chaos that ensues when a two year old doesn’t get his way. Or I get all kinds of crazy in the kitchen baking Christmas cookies. Or I get in a battle with the Husband while watching Jeopardy. Or playing chess. Or we have a marathon napping session. Because the commenter who stated that the mother who places was obviously “extremely chaotic” and then basically states that, ya know, even if there was some chaos in the mother’s life at the time of the unplanned pregnancy, well, that mother is DOOMED! for a life of dysfunction and OMGCHAOS! Because a) adoptive families never experience chaos and b) no one can ever overcome a pitfall in their life. It’s all one or the other. Never a middle ground.

I also like how it is stated that women who are now birth mothers had ease of access to resources like WIC, etc. Obviously that individual never had to apply for such things. I was rejected the first time I applied for Medicaid because of an error on their side. And then dropped. Not once. But twice. The second time I was dropped because I couldn’t make the trip to the office for a check in because I was on bed rest due to my complicated pregnancy (which I’m sure the one commenter would label as “chaos” as if I wanted to have a kidney that didn’t function properly). I asked them to come to me and they said no. I paid for my medical bills for that delivery out of my own  pocket because of the second drop.

I’m just tired of stupid, all-inclusive comments from people who are not birth parents that seem to think they understand the be-all-and-end-all of what today’s birth parents are like. I’m tired of being labeled dysfunctional. Or chaotic. Or whatever. I’m tired of all of it.

Tired. And bored. Come up with some new stereotypes, please. These are all played out.

Excuse Me While I Get “Extremely Chaotic” Up In This Piece is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

I’m feeling put upon this afternoon. I’m feeling offended. And I know I shouldn’t. But I am. I’ll blame late-pregnancy super-sensitive hormones, a lack of sleep and a strong desire for more Starbucks but an inability to shove myself into the car to drive and go get some. Partly irrational, I do agree but… really, I have to ask: why is okay to assume the worst of birth parents but, to flip it, never okay to assume the worst of adoptive parents? Why the double standard?

Someone asked in a forum setting a question that, by itself, doesn’t make me feel offended. But when I sit and think about it on the grand scale of things, I am miffed. I’m tired of the double standard. The question in question?

“Have any (of you) birth parents turned to drugs to deal with the loss of your child?”

The question is a legitimate one when you consider the complexities of grief and loss. As our society doesn’t deal really well with grief and loss and we are thus often ill-prepared to handle the issues when they are thrown in our path, poor coping mechanisms are not out of the question. And so, part of me understands the question. My answer, of course, is no. I know a few others who have turned to drugs or alcohol because therapy was simply not available. (I mean, it took me three-plus years to find a therapist with experience!) They have acknowledged that masking the grief with the feel-good effects of drugs and/or alcohol didn’t solve anything but it’s all they knew to do at the time.

Okay, so, it happens. We acknowledge that. But my question is: why the double standard on talking about these issues? I want to post the following question:

“Have you, as an adoptive parent, turned to drugs or alcohol to deal with the grief and loss associated with infertility or miscarriage or the rigors of parenting in general?”

Can you imagine the flame war that would begin? Can you imagine the absolute anger that would be felt by that entire side of the triad for such an awful assumption? And yet, I know a mother who did turn to drugs when she was dealing with infertility. It’s not her proudest moment and she has since been through rehab and is a great, great friend to me. We know it happens. But why isn’t it okay to ask?

Why is it okay to ask about birth parents and an assumed tendency to cope with things poorly but not okay to flip the question? I’m not saying we shouldn’t be asking about birth parents who have coped poorly; I think we should! I think we should be discussing the why’s and where-for’s of these detrimental coping mechanisms so that future birth parents aren’t sucked into their evil grasp. We should acknowledge that they exist and make plans to help those currently struggling and those who might come along in the future. But should we be ignoring the other side of the coin? Simply because people assume that adoptive parents have it all together? I don’t think so.

All I’m saying is: issues are not unique to one group of parents. Birth parents aren’t the only ones who deal in poor ways. We’re just expected to because of stereotype and long-standing stigmas.

And if you do have a drug or alcohol problem, oh, please, reach out. You can beat this. I promise you!

Why Are Some Questions Okay and Not Others? is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

I think I’ll expand on this on the birth/first parent blog next week. But I need to “free write” on this recent choice phrase on a certain forum discussion with regard to a mother’s decision to place her child for adoption. Twice now, the decision to relinquish has been referred to as an “awesome out.” (QuietlyMothering hit on the topic on her blog the other day after the initial offense.)

I was initially so shocked that all I could say was, “Did you really just refer to adoption as an awesome out?” Because I was honestly flabbergasted. Granted, the member to this forum was new. But still. You don’t often see such a blatant disregard for the emotional complexities of placement. Okay, maybe you do. But it’s been awhile for me. And it was disturbing on many levels.

And so, someone else chimed in with “OMGZ! ABORTION IS TEH EVIL SO OF COURSE ADOPTION IS AN AWESOME OUT!” Really, I’m so tired of the adoption-abortion comparision melarchy. It smacks of a complete lack of education on the matter. I know plenty of pro-life women who are intelligent enough to know the difference between the two and to realize that adoption is not the answer to the “abortion problem.” And so when I’m presented with those who can’t seem to separate the two, again, my mind turns to mush.

And so, to dissect the idea that adoption is any kind of out, I will provide a list of reasons that doesn’t work for me:

1. I wanted to parent my daughter so badly. I was not looking for an out.

2. Since certain circumstances and people were getting in the way of my original desire to parent, I made the decision that I wanted to be in my daughter’s life (through open adoption). That decision was a lifelong commitment that I made to her and her family. If I would have been looking for an out of any kind, I would have signed the paper and walked away. Even still, that doesn’t remove the point I’m about to make.

3. Just because I ended up signing over the rights to my child doesn’t mean that I stopped loving her, worrying about her or caring about her well-being. She is forever on my mind and in my heart. I cannot simply and magically remove her from my being. She altered who I am in so many different and glorious ways. Termination of rights has nothing to do with termination of love. Nothing at all.

4. Even if something was to happen that closed our adoption, I would never be free from my daughter. She is a piece of my being. With that door closed, I would just be even less of my whole person.

I’m just not understanding where this idea is coming from other than a blatant disregard for the experience of first mothers. The decision to place was agonizing and horrifying. The physical separation was excruciating. The signing of the TPR was humiliating. (Doubly so since I was forced to do it twice.) And the continued presence I have in her life is sometimes emotionally and physically draining. But I do it because I was looking for a way to be “IN” her life.

Not out. IN.

Adoption as ANY Kind of “Out” is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

Suz and Barb both posted this video. I waited to watch it until just a few moments ago… after dinner… after an emotional day as it was… but I don’t suppose it would have been an easy thing to watch this morning either. I want to share this with so many people. I want so many people to watch this and understand. I’ll be sending it to my Husband to watch later. He understands me but I want him to know… this isn’t just my reaction.

Anyway. Watch it. And pass it on.

Well, Now My Face Is Covered in Snot is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

It’s dangerous. The things that books can put into one’s head. That said, I’m reading “The Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes Us Smarter.” Wet Feet has had it on her sidebar for ages and, when it was a bargain book on Amazon, I snatched it up. I’m just getting around to reading it. I wish I would have read it earlier. I’m only on chapter four so this is not a review. This is me, being unable to read much further because my head is stuck; wrapped around the tree of this thought and I need to get it out.

Page 27 speaks about “stereotype threat.” Basically, without plagiarizing the book and instead, stealing definitions from Wikipedia, stereotype threat is:

the fear that one’s behavior will confirm an existing stereotype of a group with which one identifies. This fear may lead to an impairment of performance.

Anyone else sit back and go, “Holy Moses?” I actually had to put down the book on page twenty seven, go pour myself a big glass of iced tea and go sit in my back yard, alone with my thoughts, to start processing the brief jump into the subject on page 27 of the book. (Nothing like reading a book where you get thrown for a loop by page 27.)

And then I did a little more (seriously, only brief because this week has been crazy) research (mainly just wikipedia and a few other mentions) and I’m just further astounded by the theory itself.

Does this Stereotype Threat help LEAD to placement? And, once placement has occured, does it thus affect how birth parents act and react in their lives? I mean, seriously, look at it from the specific perspectives I’ve mentioned (though there are some nice ones on Wikipedia that Steele wrote about in 99).

A woman gets pregnant. She is unwed. The father is unavailable or uninterested in parenting. And we know that there’s still a blatant and maddening stigma against unwed mothers in today’s society, as made evident by this useless garbage published in the wake of a single mother’s murder. So, she feels that she’s destined to fail: to fail as a mother because she can’t provide a father, to fail in a career because single mothers can’t be successful in the fields of their choice, to fail in love because no one wants to marry a single mother, to fail at life in general. To be that bottom rung. Along with all of that, she is told, especially by those promoting the stereotypes and stigmas of eras that should remain bygone, that she will, without a doubt, fail her child.

And some do fail their children. Is it because they’ve been emotionally set up for failure or because they were just failures to begin with? This theory would say that writers of articles like this are partially at fault for the failure of the mother. Obviously, this won’t be a theory for those who believe that we are solely in control of our actions and reactions. I realize this as I’m “writing out loud” in a stream of consciousness type manner. But, at the same time, it’s not as if our country’s means of assistance for single and impoverished families is either easy to navigate or devoid of its own stigmas. Are we shutting down and shutting out mothers before they even have a chance to succeed.

And how does this whole idea play into placement? Obviously, there are some people whose biggest fear is failure. I am one of them. I’ll raise my hand. I avoid things, purposefully, to avoid failure. I hate failing. While I may seem like a big risk taker, remember that I deal with some pretty heavy anxiety on a daily basis. A lot of that anxiety is tied into those risks and those possible failures.

So, if a mother with a similar mindset and outlook to mine was told, “Man, you’re gonna screw this kid up and your whole life and the only way to stop this failure cycle is to place your baby for adoption.” Well, what is she supposed to think? If she’s never told that she can succeed, how could she believe that she could succeed? With unethical agencies and attorneys breathing down her neck, reminding her of everything that she cannot offer this child and telling her of everything that x, y or z family can offer this child, how is she NOT supposed to realize her failure.

Okay, ditching the single mother and failure aspect for a moment because, with this summer cold, my head is already about to explode, let me traverse the idea of how birth parents act/react in the months and years post-placement.

Birth parents, on the whole, are faced with a boatload of stereotypes and stigmas. We’re poor. We’re selfish. We’re loveless. We’re drug addicts and alcoholics. We don’t care about our children. We are uber-fertile. The list goes on. With all of these stereotypes, speaking specifically of the negative ones, flying at a birth parent’s head, I’m wondering how ANY of us succeed at ANYTHING and I’m suddenly much more compassionate/awakened to those who have continued to experience failures in their personal lives.

Again, I think my own personal attitude (the one determined NEVER to fail even though I fail at SOMETHING daily) has allowed me to supercede any stereotypes other than “bitter.” (Oh yes, Munchkin’sFirstMom has been labeled bitter as of late. I’ll show you bitter! Eat a lemon. Take a picture!) I am an amazing mother and while I make (daily, oh yes) mistakes, I am determined not to fail (any of) my children. I’ve found success in love, though by all accounts of the rest of the world, no one wants damaged goods. I’ve found success in career, twice now, though others think I should be more focused on things like drugs and lots of wild sex with strangers. The list goes on.

Anyway, I’m rambling. I want to really delve more into this and think I might, perhaps, next week on the birth parent blog. Could some/any of you give me some opinions or examples of this in your own life, either disproving or proving or fence-walking like me? OR ask questions. Or provide other links.

I’ll leave everyone with this quote for right now:

Stereotype threat can result in physiological responses since the pressure and fear caused by negative stereotypes is so great.

Yeah, I hear that one. Seriously, hit me with your comments and questions. I feel a Big One brewing.

Side Note About Book: Until I finish this book, I can’t give an adequate review, however, adoptive mothers may not be all about how the language and research is specifically designed to state that pregnancy and childbirth are factors in the making of a smarter Mommy Brain. Don’t nail me to the wall if you buy this and hate what she’s saying! :)

I’ve Been Reading is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

Outstanding and necessary study just released by Gary Clapton: The Experiences and Needs of Birth Fathers: What We Know and Some Practice Implications. Download it (if you can) and read it all. And then pass the link on to other people.

We fight, tooth and nail, for someone/anyone to understand that birth mothers do not fit the stereotypes that society wants to shove us into… and now it is time to fight for the same darn thing for birth fathers all over the world.

(If you can’t download it, e-mail me. I did hit the highlights over at adoptionblogs.)

The Experiences and Needs of Birth Fathers is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

In response to my letter to Dateline, I get this response:

You said to Dateline: You had a few issues regarding appropriate, non-coercive language that you should take note of for future stories. You should not refer to an expectant Mother as a birthmother prior to her signing of the Termination of Parental Rights. Even “potential birthmother” is taking it a step too far. She is, for all legal rights and purposes, the only Mother of that unborn (or, once born, living) child until those papers are signed. She needs to be respected with proper titles until that time.

Me: Ya know I adopted my son six years ago. I was on the adoption path MANY years before that. Amazingly THIS discussion hasn’t changed one iota in that many years. It’s the same ole same ole.

Wanna know why nothing has changed? I can tell you. MONEY

Yup that’s right. MONEY

Six plus years ago until today we still have the same problem built into the adoption system in our country. Expectant Mother’s who “for all legal rights and purposes are the ONLY Mother of the unborn child” still keep accessing the services for ADOPTION paid for by ADOPTIVE parents even though the expectant parents are the ones who are also RESPONSIBLE for ALL of the care and decisions for their child. When the expectant parent crosses the threshold into the services provided by (funded by) potential adoptive parents they are choosing to allow SOMEONE ELSE to pay for their RESPONSIBILITY to finance their own CONSIDERATION of what is best for their child.

That “simply considering placement” is a VERY costly service.

Wanna make a difference? Wanna LEAD the way? Wanna affect adoption on a NATIONAL level as you are attempting to do with dealing with Dateline?
Here’s what you do: Go back to every single adoption resource (counselling? Legal? Transportation? Advertising? etc) you used and ask them for a bill for the services you utilized. Tell them that when you were utilizing their services from the first point of contact until the very MOMENT you signed away your parental rights that YOU and only YOU are responsible as the ONLY Mother to your child to PAY for the services you utilized for your child.

Then… get out your checkbook and pony up to YOUR responsiblities as her Mother. Believe me you won’t think the consideration is so simple when you have to pay for it. That simple consideration in my son’s adoption was about EIGHTY percent of a 25K bill.

Next begin the process of a NATIONAL campaign to get other “for all legal rights and purposes, the only Mother of that unborn (or, once born, living) child” to do the same. Tell them to STOP expecting total strangers who have NOTHING to do with the ONLY Mother’s responsibility of “simply considering placement” to flip the bill.

You want all the respect and proper titles? Well RESPONSIBILITY comes along with that. You can’t have one without the other. You can’t foot stomp and banner wave your rights when you are not assuming your FULL responsibility. Get adoptive parents OUT of the “simply considering adoption” part of the equation and I guarantee you will get immediate respect and proper titles. When their responsibility only begins when your ends there won’t be a single stitch of confusion.

I promise.

(Name withheld.)

Anyone else cussing right now? Thanks. I paid for my medical bills (or over what Medicaid didn’t cover). J and D WERE charged for counseling that I DID NOT receive but that falls back on the unethical agency (ANLC), now doesn’t it?

So, in short, get your head out of your own rear end and wise up. In a thread where I’m trying to debunk sweeping generalizations, you want to make HUGE generalizations about ME when you don’t know me from Eve? Learn my story. Then talk to me. Until the, STFU.

Some people.

I Can’t Even Think of a Subject that Doesn’t Contain a Cuss Word is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.