I have had a secret bubbling underneath the surface for a few weeks now. I have shared it with a small group of people but have not taken it “live” on the blog for various reasons. First and foremost: I am not pregnant. (This said because any time I tell my mom to keep a secret, her first question is, “Are you pregnant?”) Anyway, now that we have that out of the way, some reasoning for the silence while I continue being vague. You love it.

At first, I couldn’t believe that what was going on was even a possibility. Then as that quickly sank in, I realized that I didn’t want to jinx it on a grand, public scale. Talking about something on a public blog before it is an actuality is almost a surefire way to make sure it doesn’t happen. And then I had to wait an extra week because something that needed to happen didn’t/couldn’t happen because of the insane amount of ice and snow thrust upon our region. That melted and, last week, everything came together.

What am I talking about?

I mentioned, at various times in the past few months, that I joined our local chorale. I did not have a solo at the Christmas concert because it was my first concert of my first season. Why would I have had a solo? I simply enjoyed the act of being on stage and singing once again. We’re now preparing for our spring show which has a theme of “Broadway Updated.” My director approached me a few weeks ago, pulled out one of the medleys and asked me if I “knew” one of the songs.

What a silly question! I’m a musical dork! To boot, the medley in question was the Miss Saigon medley. And I’m willing to bet lights just went on in several brains reading this post. That’s right, my director, without knowing my history, asked me if I knew the song “I’d Give My Life for You.” I simply smiled and said that, yes, I loved Miss Saigon. He then told me he’d want to hear me sing it and that he might turn it into the whole song instead of the eight measures it was in the medley. And then we were off for an entire week.

I practiced. And practiced. To and from the Poconos. For two weeks, I sang that song like it was the only song on the planet. My older son now asks me to sing it when we’re in the truck, calling it “Mommy’s song.” I practiced and practiced and, oh my goodness, I practiced.

And then at practice last Tuesday, everything paid off.

I am now not singing just that song (yes, stretched out to be most of the full song) but any part that Kim’s character in the Miss Saigon medley sings, well, I’m singing. That equals out to one other small solo in “The Heat is on in Saigon” and a duet with Chris’s character. I’m overwhelmed. And excited. And nervous. And happy. And scared. And proud. And a bunch of other emotions.

Including… amused. At the irony. Oh? You don’t know the song? You’re not familiar with the words? Do me a favor. Watch this YouTube video. No, really, do it. I’ll wait.

That’s right. I’m singing a song about putting my child’s needs before my own. True, the song is about a boy but, other than the one mention, that’s not the point of the song, now is it? Lines like “you didn’t ask me to be born” and “I’ll give you a million things I’ll never own, I’ll give you a world to conquer when you’re grown” and the main point of the song: “you will be who you want to be, you can choose whatever heaven grants, as long as you can have your chance, I swear I’ll give my life for you.”

Do you have a lump in your throat as well? Yeah.

I’m not particularly sure how I’ll be able to sing this song in front of a huge crowd… that includes my daughter’s mom. That’s right. They’re coming out for the performance. I don’t yet know how we’ll handle the kids so I don’t know if the Munchkin will be in attendance. There is that chance as she’s been to and is old enough to attend formal performances. So, we’ll see.

That aside, a friend of mine said that I should bring “something” to the song that no one else can. Yep. Raw emotion. In your face.

Raw emotion aside, I’m so very excited. My husband is very proud. We’ve made jokes about being typecast because of my eye shape. But it’s been years and years since I’ve been recognized, outside of church, for my vocal ability. This? This feels so very good.

When I Sing for Me, I Sing for Her is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

Yesterday evening, I logged on and found that Munchkin’s Mom was also online. After a quick exchange of proper hellos, she announced, “I have more videos!” This, of course, made me smile in itself. She’s been sending me videos pretty regularly for a few weeks now. I love each one.

It’s always a surprise to see what the videos are as she doesn’t preface them before sending. It’s like a surprise on my screen each time!

Last night? She sent me video of the Munchkin in her first Christmas pageant. She was a goat. An absolutely adorable goat, if I must be pressed for some detail. While you could argue that she would have been the cutest angel up there if she had been an angel, her Mom explained that the goat had a longer line than the angels did. The teacher/leader gave the Munchkin the longest line because she thought she would handle it best. As she was saying her memorized line, I was amazed at how she said it without fault! Her Mom then told me that she learned her long line on the very first day.

My heart filled with a whole lot of pride. Which then make me step back and ask myself if that was an okay reaction. I mean, I obviously had no part in helping her learn that line, learn the songs or be socially aware enough to stand on stage and not freak out (like I did for my first performance). Her Mom is doing a great job at that day-to-day stuff. So, did I have a right to be proud of how well she did?

Well, yes, you’re darn right I had a right! She did an amazing job! And was stinkin’ adorable while doing it! I was proud of everything she has accomplished. She’s amazing. She really, really is. I’m not taking responsibility for her awesomeness, I’m just proud of it.

And that feels good.

Made My Day is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

Suz and Barb both posted this video. I waited to watch it until just a few moments ago… after dinner… after an emotional day as it was… but I don’t suppose it would have been an easy thing to watch this morning either. I want to share this with so many people. I want so many people to watch this and understand. I’ll be sending it to my Husband to watch later. He understands me but I want him to know… this isn’t just my reaction.

Anyway. Watch it. And pass it on.

Well, Now My Face Is Covered in Snot is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

Thanks to Suz (or, rather, thanks to myself since I ignored her Content Warning), I watched this video just now and have proceeded to snot all over myself. The overwhelming silence of the video, other than the mother’s sobs, speaks volumes. There’s nothing you can say.

Video of Physical Relinquishment is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

On a tip/link from Coco, I read (and listened to) this horrendous story. Yes, folks, coercion and blatant lying (including, but not limited to, the total ignorance of laws and rights) is still alive and well in today’s societies. I’d like to find these social workers, who have their panties in a twist that their rights were violated by being recorded and ask them why they didn’t have any regard for the mother’s rights. Or the child’s. Or the father’s. I know that two wrongs may not make a right but, FOR PITY’S SAKE, do NOT tout an issue about rights when you’re stomping all over an entire family’s! Oh, I’m so sick.

This Is Sick and Sad is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

Clicking of of Dawn’s entry, I watched the video, A Girl Like Me, and basically dissolved into a sobbing heap at the keyboard. The whole doll study? Especially the last little girl with the questions? My heart breaks.

For the record: my daughter is the most beautiful girl on this planet.

That said, even if you aren’t the voting type, you should watch it. You should listen to these girls. You should learn something from what they’re saying. You should tell someone tomorrow that they are beautiful… no matter what.

(But you should vote because a $10,000 scholarship is called into play here!)

Watch, Listen, Vote is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

I found out about these videos last night while checking my new incoming links and stats after being gone for a day and a half. (Super Bowl party back at The Farm.) Part of me said, “Jenna, don’t watch those. It’s obvious by this intelligent person’s response that they are nothing but more of ANLC’s propaganda to take babies from mothers. Don’t. Watch. Them.”

But I did. I watched them. And I cried. I sobbed. I cussed. In fact, I got so worked up that I had to go lock myself in my bedroom so that I didn’t do anything outrageously stupid. Now that I’ve had time to process and cool off? Oh yes. It’s time to dissect each and every video. It’s time to call ANLC out for what they truly are: a bunch of no good liars. It’s time to speak out. And so, let’s go.

The first video, Unplanned Pregnancy Adoption Video, was the first one I watched. To say that it annoys me is an understatement. Let me break it down, line by line or, rather, LIE by LIE.

We understand that you may feel as if you are on an emotional roller coaster. You probably have a lot of questions. We’re here to help you.

Okay, if I didn’t know anything about this so-called agency, I probably wouldn’t be able to think anything was wrong with these three sentences. However, the “we’re here to help you” is completely misleading. What they really need to say if they want to be honest is, “We are here to help you ONLY IF YOU ARE GOING TO PLACE YOUR CHILD, OTHERWISE, WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO USE FOR YOU.” Saying that you are present to help someone during a crisis pregnancy implies that you are going to help them in a non-biased manner. So, in the first three statements, they are misleading viewers. Moving on.

Adoption is an unselfish gift of love from you to your child because it allows you to give them the best possible life with the best opportunity of a future.

Does it? Can you guarantee me, in writing, that the life of a placed child will always be 100% better than if the mother parents the child? Can you show me the statistics for divorce rates among adoptive parents? Is it lower? Even so, what makes you so certain, in your statement, that the child being placed will be guaranteed parents who won’t divorce or, you know, be laid off in our “booming” economy. Let’s be honest. Placing your child gives you a smidgen of a better chance that your child will have access to material things that you may not be able to provide at this time. As for the “best opportunity for the future” comment… exactly HOW can they guarantee THAT statement? My parents were really good parents. I still turned out screwed up in my late teens and early twenties, now didn’t I? Just because you’re placing a child in a family that may be more financially secure and emotionally ready to parent doesn’t magically mean that the child will turn out to be the next Albert Einstein. That said, how many great leaders and successful people come from meager beginnings?

We’re here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We invite you to visit us at www.adoptionnetwork.com or call us any time at 1-866-94-Adopt.

Yep. They’re there. 24 hours a day. Spewing lies every day of the week.

Don’t be afraid to make the best choice.

WTF?! This is a video. They have no idea about the mother’s situation. HOW CAN THEY CLAIM THAT ADOPTION IS ALWAYS THE BEST CHOICE? Oh crikey… I am MAD!

The situation can have a very happy and fulfilling ending.

Yep. FOR SOMEONE ELSE. For you? The woman that they want so desperately to become a birthmother? Yeah, you’ll have some happy moments if you’re lucky enough to find an ethical family to parent your child. But notice they didn’t mention the life-long grief. The guilt. The self-doubt. The anxiety. The effect it has on everyone else in your life. Let’s tell half-stories and make them sound like full-truths! WEE!

Moving on: Birthmother Adoption Stories almost made me vomit. I need to point out ONE thing that the editing, shot set up and words of the mothers didn’t tell you: NONE OF THESE MOTHERS HAVE ALREADY PLACED THEIR BABIES AT THE TIME OF THE VIDEO. THEY ARE ALL STILL PREGNANT AND HAVE NOT GONE THROUGH THE ACTUAL RELINQUISHMENT. You think that would be important in telling about being a birth mother. Good grief.

(Shannon) They’ve done a great job here with me so I am really thankful to them, thankful to my adopting couple so I’ll be kinda scared to leave here, I think, after the baby is born. It’s kind of a security safe-nest in a way here They get you on your feet and get you in the straight and arrow [sic] again so they’re a lot of help.

That’s right. Shannon, like I fear for the rest of the mothers in this video, was living in their “Birthmother Housing” during her pregnancy. Can you see the OBVIOUS sense of obligation in her words?

(Theresa) I got great support from Adoption Network, especially from Judy, she told me how to just go online and look at the adoptive parents and pick, go through the names, go through the bios, and it helped. To know who you wanted to set your date with, give your baby to. And it was a great experience. I enjoyed it.

I enjoyed it? I can be honest here. While I was blind to their lies during our involvement, I can’t ever say that I found the process of figuring out who to “give my baby to” as ENJOYABLE. Crikey.

(Nadine) I see myself going far after this adoption. I see myself going very far knowing that my child is going to be in good hands, knowing that I have nothing to worry about afterwards, knowing that I can finish school, knowing that my family is going to be proud of the decision that I made and my friends, and just making somebody happy also that can’t have a child. I’m really proud of myself for doing this because there’s a lot of families out there that can’t have kids and it’s the right thing to do instead of just thinking you can raise a child and then all of a sudden you can’t raise a child because of the emotional and the expense and everything. It’s the right choice that I’ve made so far and I think that’s how it’s going to stay.

First of all, Nadine seems almost in tears during her whole blurb. I wanted to reach through the damn computer and hug her. But, as this is a propaganda video, I know she has already placed her baby, been sent back home from the “birthmother housing” and is now living this life. Her words make me so sad. Why didn’t they tell her, “You know, you CAN finish school even if you parent.” Because you can. Why didn’t someone say, “It really doesn’t matter what your friends think now because they won’t be your friends in 10 years when you’re trying to explain to a bunch of playgroup mommies why your son’s sister is being raised 800 miles away.” And the whole brain-washing that they’ve given her about making another family happy: THAT IS NOT WHY YOU ARE ON THIS PLANET. You are not an incubator for someone else’s happiness. You just aren’t. WHY OH WHY do they continue to make mothers believe this about themselves? Oh, it kills me.

(Crystal) When I first found out I was pregnant I was already four months along. I have a disorder called hypothyroidism and so I have irregular periods and I didn’t know until I was four months. Uhm, at that time I went to several abortion clinics, seven to be exact, and every time I went something went wrong and it was unable to happen on the clinic’s part. And so, uhm, at one of the clinics we went to there was a lady standing outside waving a flyer saying there are other options and there are centers that will help you pay… (cuts off)

Yep. There are centers that will help you pay for things. IF YOU GIVE THEM YOUR BABY. Eesh.

The third video is similar to the first. But say some different things. More dissection.

We understand that since you’re pregnant you may be confused and have a lot of questions about what to do. You may be anxious and scared. We understand.

What they mean here is, “You may be anxious and scared. We understand how to prey upon those emotions and use them to our advantage.”

You’re not alone. In fact, every year over 50,000 women choose as the best choice for themselves and for their unborn babies.

Say again? Someone get me the stats on this one. I find that one hard to believe. According to the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute Birthparent Study, released last November, only 14,000 women (and men) make the decision to place their babies for adoption. So what’s with the inflated numbers? OH. MORE FREAKING LIES! I think that falls under FALSE ADVERTISING, no?!

We can provide you with the answers you’re looking for and the help that you need without any judgement. We won’t judge you.

Of course not. It’s not in the best interest of their pockets to say something judgemental to you. Duh.

We’re here to help with your adoption plan and to help you give your baby the gift of a loving family. You will be providing your baby with hope for the future. Adoption is an unselfish gift of love from you to your child because it gives your child and you the best possible opportunities life has to offer.

Okay, so maybe I get the idea that they think kids will be better off in other homes. But best opportunities life has to offer me? By placing my baby? The past three years of unending tears is THE BEST LIFE HAS TO OFFER ME? … shit.

We know there are many emotional ups and downs; we’re here to help guide you through your options and to help you make the most out of this beautiful gift.

Again, it needs clarification: We’re here to help guide you through your ADOPTION options, as that’s the only thing we will ever discuss with you, and make the most money possible off of your child.

We have counselors here to provide you with the guidance and the support that you need.

Oh. The counselors. This also needs clarification: We have counselors, who actually don’t have a degree in anything related to the field of adoption, psychology or social work, who are therefore not bound by any level of professionalism or confidentiality and will therefore turn around and tell the adoptive family every single thing that you tell them in supposed confidence. Sounds charming, doesn’t it?

We’re a caring friend in a time of need.

Does a caring friend stab you in the back like that by telling someone else your confidences without your knowledge or approval? Hopefully not. If so, seek out new friends.

Some of the services we offer: free legal services, financial aid, safe and secure housing, assistance with living and medical expenses.

Again, half truths, half stories. “Free legal services!” But we won’t tell you that you have the RIGHT to your OWN LEGAL REPRESENTATION which could provide you someone who is SOLELY CONCERNED with YOUR best interest and could help avoid cases where your rights are trampled ALL OVER. “Financial aid” as well as “assistance with living and medical expenses”…. but, you know, only if you live in a state that provides those things but we’ll entice you with the idea even if we know, flat out, that it isn’t legal in your state and then guilt you into staying on with us anyway. “Safe and secure housing” that removes you from any possible support and thus makes it easier for us to break down your spirit and resolve and sets up a sense of obligation since we just paid for you to live, eat and continue medical care. Now you have to place with us. MUAHAHAHA.

We allow you to choose the parents who will be able to care for your child. (cuts off)

The assumption in this statement is that the mother will NOT be able to care for her child. You know what happens when you assume… of course, they already made an ass out of themselves, over and over, so why would they care at the end of the video?

//

I seriously cried for hours. I am disappointed in myself for having fallen for every single one of their scare tactics and brain-washing statements. I hate that I wasn’t able to see through their lies. I’m normally a decent judge of character (minus a few bad friend and boyfriend choices in the past) and it really bothers me that I let them pull the wool over my eyes like they did: they knew that I was vulnerable and they took advantage of it for their own benefit.

Needless to say, this only further solidifies the fact that I hate everything that ANLC does and stands for in the world of adoption. They are liars. They are cheats. They are unethical. They are inhumane. They are anti-mother.

Now you saw the propaganda that I was fed. Now you know. Now everyone knows. It doesn’t change a damn thing. But you know. Don’t let them blind you as well. Don’t let them ruin another mother.

Videos from ANLC Spew NOTHING but LIES is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.

Watch Two A-Holes at an Adoption Agency.

First of all, I love SNL. Secondly, this is one of my favorite skits. Third, yes, I’d be annoyed if this was a skit portraying birth parents poorly.

So, shoe’s on the other foot. Comments on YouTube include:

That was scary, I know people like that! Very scary. Whats even scarier, is that they actually give people like that children…

I’m aware that SNL exists simply to poke fun at people/things/issues and paraody life. However, we rarely see adoptive parents stereotyped so negatively on national media. I want to know how real (as in, a couple who doesn’t embody the two in this sketch) adoptive parents would feel if they were constantly portrayed as uneducated, egotistical, money-slinging baby mongers ON A DAILY BASIS.

How would it feel?

Let’s Switch Shoes for a Day or Two is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.