Comments for The Chronicles of Munchkin Land

Comment on Questions That Change by therapyisexpensive

therapyisexpensive — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 17:36:11 +0000

I get this question only in reverse, “would you still have chosen adoption if you’d had a girl” uh yeah probably and if I hadn’t it wouldn’t have been because of her gender it would have been because I’d have found a way to parent my child regardless of gender. I HATE that question and yes there are stupid questions.

Comment on Questions That Change by bluestokking

bluestokking — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:14:59 +0000

Do these questions come from PAPs or current adoptive parents? I wonder becuase the trend in the 80s was that girls were favored over boys. As such, I wonder if since some adoptive parents prefer girls are they naturally assuming you lost out on something better by not being able to parent a girl. Are they assuming you might be like them and that you would put your daughter above your sons?

FWIW, you know I also surrendered a girl and am parenting two boys. I get the same question. Even better, my mother justifies the loss of my daughter by saying I am a “boy mother”. WTF does that mean? She is indirectly stating I am better at parenting boys than I would have been at parenting a gilr? Gee thanks, Ma.

Comment on Fiercely Protective by mariah

mariah — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 03:35:52 +0000

Exactly, Jenna. You have so much insight.

Speaking of Redbook, did you ever get any feedback on the article?

Comment on Thoughts on This Month’s Package by jodilee0123

jodilee0123 — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 12:15:32 +0000

When you are ready. . . you should include all kinds of pictures of you. It is your life that you are showing Munchkin. We see our Kaiti quite a bit and I still love getting pictures of her–be it that it is hardly ever–unless I take them myself. We have them displayed in our home showing our love for her too. We also pull out the mini photo book she made of our visits the first year and use it as “his” story book about her. I think you don’t give yourself enough credit. You are doing an incredible job–no matter how easy or difficult it is at any one particular moment. You are always thinking about others and concerned about how they may feel or react to something. Because Munchkin has your genes, she will be able to understand someday your struggles and I think she will want you to not feel guilty when you feel happy and would love to have any and all pictures she could possibly have of you. I’m glad your back and I hope you don’t mind my ramblings! :0)

Comment on Thoughts on This Month’s Package by Claire

Claire — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 14:31:49 +0000

Hugs! I think that is a perfect package. The “mundane” every day stuff is more interesting in the long run over time in my oppinion that just telling all the happy/interesting stuff. She will appreciate it more and feel like she really mattered (in my oppinion). I also think that when you feel ready and comfortable, she will REALLY appreciate pictures of you that you send every now and then of yourself. I agree with PP about sending pictures of you DOING things that illustrate who you are (singing, gardening, reading, etc.)… casual pictures that help her relate. I have a different adoption history in that the “openness” has always been with my paternal grandmother. She always sent pictures of herself, my grandpa, my cousins, and aunts and uncles. They never included pictures of my first father, his wife, or his 2 subsequent children and it always made me a little sad to have a brother and a sister and not even know what they look like and to know that in reality they don’t even know I exist. I do have ONE picture of him that was a picture of him and his brothers. I did/do really cherish it though allot. I would have very much so enjoyed seeing other pictures even if it was just once a year to have in a little album. I think we all have a need to know where we came from and pictures help us connect. No need to rush though. Just like everything, there will be a time when you are ready or not and sometimes these things take a while. More hugs to you.

Comment on Thoughts on This Month’s Package by vbigelow

vbigelow — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 02:22:21 +0000

Why not let send her a picture of you singing????

Comment on Thoughts on This Month’s Package by Amy

Amy — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 20:34:44 +0000

Renee - I do the same thing when I send pictures to my children’s birthmotherS. Sometimes I’ll send all the kids together, but I hardly ever send a big happy family picture.

Comment on Thoughts on This Month’s Package by heatherrainbow

heatherrainbow — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 18:59:09 +0000

I can understand. One week is way too short of a time to digest that. Do what you feel comfortable doing.

Comment on Thoughts on This Month’s Package by Renee

Renee — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 01:26:19 +0000

It’s a funny thing, cuz on my end of the coin, I rarely send pictures of me and the boys or all of us as a family to either of their birthmothers. Like I don’t want their pics to be a slap in the face like a “Haha look at us all happy” or anything. Am I making sense? Even when I do include a picture of all of us and write on the back our names with a date, I never write “Mommy, Daddy, etc” I put our actual names. Weird.

{{{Hugs}}}

Comment on Thoughts on This Month’s Package by heatherk

heatherk — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 23:20:55 +0000

I’m just sitting here reading from afar, but I kind of imagine them putting the photos in a little book for her and her over the years looking back and picking out all the ways she is like you. like her brothers. Gosh, how you love her. Wish I had something comforting to say, but I guess just wanted you to know that you’re being heard.