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The Thrill of Blogging? Or Writing? Or What?

Many of you have noticed over the past year, I have spent less time on this blog. Our family blog remains very active but this blog averages one post a week right now. (Look at me! Twice in one week over here!) Some people might claim, like today’s article in the New York Times, that I’ve lost the thrill of blogging. Not the case. Read on.

The article is somewhat disheartening. I didn’t start this blog about our adoption journey because I wanted to be famous or because I needed to be financially independent or for anything other than the simple fact that I needed to write my adoption journey. Writing is a part of who I am from the inside to the outside. It’s what I do. It is what I have always done. (I just recently found a binder full of horribly written poetry dating back to sixth grade. And, no, I won’t be sharing it with you.)

My need to write, in order to process and heal, created quite a following here for awhile. And then came my period of quiet, of silence if you will. As things took unexpected turns in our adoption journey and as I dealt with all of those changes while simultaneously battling postpartum depression, I didn’t have as much to write. And during that time, I didn’t worry about my numbers (they went down) or my so-called fame (because those who cared stuck around) or anything of that nature.

Like my life, this blog has experienced highs and lows. I treasure the moments in which someone has related to what I said but, at the same time, I treasure the posts in which no one commented but I made an exceptional stride toward my healing. This blog has been what it has needed to be for me at every step and with every change in my life. It has been an emotional sounding board. It has been a place to promote ethical changes in adoption reform. It has been a place to support adoptees in their fight for their Original Birth Certificates. It has been a place where I have seen my writing grow and change. More over, it has been a place where I have seen myself grow and change. I have grown into my role as a birth mother. I have grown into my own skin. (I like me, guys. I’m pretty awesome!)

This blog does not make me rich. Neither does the family blog. In fact, my gig over at Adoption Blogs doesn’t rake in a whole lot of dough. But all three blogging experiences brings all kinds of different things to my life. Here, though the words have been slow as of late, I am free to explore, to play with words. While I’m more to-the-point at the family blog, I am a bit more abstract here. Where I give more fact than emotion at Adoption Blogs, I get to the core of the emotion over here. When I put it all together, I am a whole person on paper, or, rather screen.

Blogging shouldn’t be about what you can get. Blogging should be about what you can give. I’ve given all of me, I’ve shared all of me. And since my love for blogging is more of a love for writing, for words, I don’t see the giving ending any time soon. There is an ebb and a flow but not an end to my love for writing.