Mother’s Day » The Chronicles of Munchkin Land

Mother’s Day Is Finally Mother’s Day

Adoption, in General, Motherhood 3 Responses »

May 092011

Everything kind of fell into place this year for me.

Last week was hell. I mean, it was really a personal hell for me. I think I drank my weight in Rescue Remedy, but I probably just cried it right out. It was a hard week and I haven’t even really had time to deal with some of what I’m feeling because life tends to get in the way of emotional healing.

But I just had the most wonderful Mother’s Day ever.

Sometime shortly after seven-zero-zero, my oldest son was thisclose to my face. “Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy.” I smiled and told him thank you and that his daddy was in charge. My husband left the room with him shortly thereafter and I hung out in bed, not really sleeping, but definitely enjoying the cool quiet of the room. Then my husband made me breakfast. And later, lunch.

I watched cheesy chick flicks. I read. And I napped.

I played Hungry, Hungry Hippos. I played cars. I read a few books. I chased my kids down the hall. We took photos in the yard. I talked to my mom, my dad and my mother-in-law. I wasted time on Facebook (and didn’t do any work online… well, until the kids were in bed). I left a message for my daughter’s mom. I opened cards (and laughed). I enjoyed my beautiful new plants and newly placed bird feeder (in a perfect spot for photography). I sent messages back and forth with some of my favorite moms.

And then my husband announced, “Appetizers!” And he put crab legs that he had been grilling (which I didn’t even know you could DO) on the table. NO FREAKING LIE. And then he served steak wrapped in bacon, mashed potatoes and zucchini for supper. And then butterscotch pudding (a fav) for dessert.

And the whole day, I felt light and airy. My sons repeatedly wished me a Happy Mother’s Day and told me that they loved me. Without prompting. I got kisses and hugs. And lots of food. And even more laughs. And it felt good.

I felt joy.

I said a special prayer with the boys before bed, thanking God for all of my children and went into the different ways that I am their mother. I thanked God for my mom, for my mother-in-law and for grandmothers. I got long-winded, but my kids were patient. I got more kisses after that.

Tomorrow will be a new week and I still have stuff to deal with. But today was about joy. I don’t know if it’s about the separation of issues. Or if it was my husband’s over-the-top awesomeness (because he knows how I struggle) (and, really, he’s just that awesome). Or if it was just the year that I was finally able to grow into who I am and be at peace on this day. I don’t know.

But I sure I hope I feel this good on Mother’s Day next year.

Ah, Mother’s Day. That Explains It.

Adoption, in General 4 Responses »

May 022010

Rain on Flowers No wonder I’m in a funk.

I couldn’t figure out why I kept coming to the blog and leaving without anything to say. Or, rather, with so much to say but no way to verbalize it. I have six drafts from this past week; thoughts started, left incomplete. Sometimes because I couldn’t figure out what to say. Sometimes because I didn’t feel safe saying what it was on my heart at the time.

My husband brought up Mother’s Day during lunch the other day. It turns out that we’re kidless on Mother’s Day weekend as my mother-in-law and sister-in-law are kidnapping our kids. I said something to the effect of not realizing that it was Mother’s Day weekend when they’d be gone. He said something to the effect of having not said anything, he could have gotten away with not getting presents. He laughed and wiggled his eyebrows. I shrugged and said something about Mother’s Day being overrated, avoiding eye contact.

I kind of just want it to go away.

This Hallmark commercial made me weep. Weep. I mean, true, I’ve been known to cry at Folger’s commercials but, still, I wept. I wept because it was beautiful and sad and happy and totally unrealistic and something I think we all long for anyway.

I exchanged some tweets last week when I was asked what I thought was the best gift for Mother’s Day that you couldn’t purchase/buy. I wasn’t in the best of moods when I replied.

I’m not the one to ask about Mother’s Day. For me, and for others, recognition by society for non-traditional mothers.

Followed up with:

Stepmoms, birth mothers, adoptive moms, foster moms, mothers of miscarriage, mothers of infant loss. List goes on.

Apologies for anyone who didn’t fit into my 140 characters there.

It’s just such a hard day for too many of us. I probably won’t go to church. I will be grateful, of course, for anything given to me but I won’t ask for anything. My husband will probably get some new plants for our front flower garden as we’re redoing it this year. Perhaps the digging and physical action will take my mind off of things.

I cried in Hallmark on Wednesday. I just stopped in before my hair appointment to grab a card for my husband’s birthday. I stopped in front of the Mother’s Day cards. Nana. Grandma. Mom. Mother. Someone special. Friend. From your ex-daughter-in-law. All-inclusive. Almost. I read a few cards. I cried in the aisle. I was almost late for my appointment.

PR emails keep landing in my inbox. Mother’s Day this. Mother’s Day that. Could you mention this? Could you mention that? I think I need to put a banner at the top of my sites: “I DON’T DO MOTHER’S DAY.”

And it’s ridiculous, really. I’m so blessed. I have two wonderful boys. I am a part of my daughter’s life. She has a wonderful mom. It’s just such a hard day for me. I can’t explain the ins and outs of everything. There’s the loss. The lies by the agency. The grief. The lack of recognition. The stigma. The judgment. The stereotypes. I let it roll most of the year. It’s hard on Mother’s Day. It’s just hard.

A rambling, incoherent funk. Excuse me for the next week.